5 months...
So...it's been five months since I took that trip to Conneticut to see how things felt in person. After all, we had only talked about stuff over IM. And when we saw each other at our EMT test after that fateful night of drunken confessions, things were kind of awkward. But we had been talking on IM and on the phone for nearly a month, and I couldn't wait another month until she came to visit. So I took an unexpected trip. 6 hours in a car(actually more b/c I got lost), thru a horrible rain storm nonetheless. But when I saw her my heart flipped. I lost my breath and started shaking. We still had about 45 mins left to her house and the awkwardness grew the whole way. Then Lady Marmalade came on the radio and I decided I was just gonna have fun and let the weekend go where it would. I had known the girl for 2 years already and I was pretty comfortable to begin with. Why be all scared and nervous now? So I belted out "Voulez vous coucher avec moi?" at the top of my lungs and the nerves went away. Then I had to meet her parents and brother. Whoa! Big thing for me considering I've had nothing but bad luck with parents (they usually are not accepting of the sexuality of their daughter and so me too). But they were the nicest people I've ever met. Her father was quiet but very friendly, her brother flaming, and her mother spastic! It was wonderful. But we had to go to bed - in a single bed. I was scared again. I didn't know how she was feeling. So I just went with it and we ended up cuddling. I didn't sleep much that night. I was freezing and she hogged all the covers. And then the morning came. And then the early afternoon and we still weren't out of bed. I didn't want to stop cuddling. I didn't want to stop talking. I wanted to kiss her. So badly. I dropped hints at it. And she returned those hints. And finally, I sucked it up and kissed her. I think I saw heaven in that moment.
The next night as we were heading to her friend's place for fireworks and a party she asked if she could introduce me as her girlfriend.
I have met the girl of my dreams. Thing is, I never dreamed it would be her. I never thought that the straight ally from Spectrum, the girl that showed up to her first squad meeting from bellydance practice, the newest secretary in squad, the girl I thought was beautiful the first time I saw her, would be interested in a person like me.
When I found out she was an ally back in 2003, I decided I wouldn't persue the straight girl. When she showed up to the first squad meeting, I squealed to myself and then whispered to Jenny about her. When I showed up to my first class of Tales of Terror, I was excited to see she was in the class too (but was upset when she was unable to sit next to me). When I read in her livejournal that her last crush was named Emma and I questioned her about it, I was upset to learn she was "just joking around." When we did the bottle drive for AURS and we paired up to collect bottles, I was beginning to become suspicious about her sexuality after she talked about same-sex rights for quite a while. When she sat next to me one night at EMT class, I was unable to pay attention to the instructor and decided it would be more fun to flirt with her instead. When I got totally smashed the night before graduation and found her online at 3:30am and told her I liked her, I sobered up extremely fast when she said she'd liked me for quite some time too.
And now that it's been 5 gorgeous months since that day I kissed her for the first time, I want to scream to the world - I want to and will spend the rest of my life with this girl. This girl that has shown me parts of herself she's never shown anyone else. This girl that can make me laugh with just a raise of her eyebrow. This girl that can encourage me when I'm upset about something.
This girl. This Barbara Bickford. I shall one day marry this girl.
The next night as we were heading to her friend's place for fireworks and a party she asked if she could introduce me as her girlfriend.
I have met the girl of my dreams. Thing is, I never dreamed it would be her. I never thought that the straight ally from Spectrum, the girl that showed up to her first squad meeting from bellydance practice, the newest secretary in squad, the girl I thought was beautiful the first time I saw her, would be interested in a person like me.
When I found out she was an ally back in 2003, I decided I wouldn't persue the straight girl. When she showed up to the first squad meeting, I squealed to myself and then whispered to Jenny about her. When I showed up to my first class of Tales of Terror, I was excited to see she was in the class too (but was upset when she was unable to sit next to me). When I read in her livejournal that her last crush was named Emma and I questioned her about it, I was upset to learn she was "just joking around." When we did the bottle drive for AURS and we paired up to collect bottles, I was beginning to become suspicious about her sexuality after she talked about same-sex rights for quite a while. When she sat next to me one night at EMT class, I was unable to pay attention to the instructor and decided it would be more fun to flirt with her instead. When I got totally smashed the night before graduation and found her online at 3:30am and told her I liked her, I sobered up extremely fast when she said she'd liked me for quite some time too.
And now that it's been 5 gorgeous months since that day I kissed her for the first time, I want to scream to the world - I want to and will spend the rest of my life with this girl. This girl that has shown me parts of herself she's never shown anyone else. This girl that can make me laugh with just a raise of her eyebrow. This girl that can encourage me when I'm upset about something.
This girl. This Barbara Bickford. I shall one day marry this girl.