too much information
Well this semester is finally over! Not that I won't miss it, I had the best semester of my college career so far. I learned a whole lot, and made leaps and bounds as a counselor and a person. I'm doing a lot better and look forward to this coming semester with an anxious, yet heavy heart. I get to retake a class that I am scared to death of with a teacher that I am pretty sure hates me, and a few other classes.
As most of you know, I lost my job at Coldstone in October. I have since then been looking for work in Mt Pleasant and not really able to find a whole lot. I started at McBride Quality Care Services and have been doing little here and there on call work, but I find it really difficult to wait until the last minute to be called into work and am usually in the middle of doing something. I am sort of a planner, I like to know when I can do things and when I will be working. But its money.
Also, with the good comes the bad, extremely evident in my life. I just recently found out that my aunt has a bile duct cancer and has about a year to live. I've not had any family member this close die in a long time and I am really scared. I found this out just this week, during exams of course. It's been weighing heavily on my mind and I feel helpless because I can't do anything about it. And of course the next day I get a call from my mom saying that my grandma's boyfriend had a tumor in his colon and it burst and he is in the hospital. They have to send that out to see if it is cancerous. It's been a pretty shitty week. I got some more news today (not health wise) that I don't really feel like going into, and is something I will have to deal with tomorrow.
I want a job. I want to be able to help those I love. Even though I know I cannot give every piece of myself to help others, I still feel bad when I don't. I guess time will dull that.
I need a time machine. I hate not having to plan around a completely separate family, like I did a few years ago. I miss being loved. I miss it a lot, but I love being free. Who wants to make me feel loved and still let me be free?
As most of you know, I lost my job at Coldstone in October. I have since then been looking for work in Mt Pleasant and not really able to find a whole lot. I started at McBride Quality Care Services and have been doing little here and there on call work, but I find it really difficult to wait until the last minute to be called into work and am usually in the middle of doing something. I am sort of a planner, I like to know when I can do things and when I will be working. But its money.
Also, with the good comes the bad, extremely evident in my life. I just recently found out that my aunt has a bile duct cancer and has about a year to live. I've not had any family member this close die in a long time and I am really scared. I found this out just this week, during exams of course. It's been weighing heavily on my mind and I feel helpless because I can't do anything about it. And of course the next day I get a call from my mom saying that my grandma's boyfriend had a tumor in his colon and it burst and he is in the hospital. They have to send that out to see if it is cancerous. It's been a pretty shitty week. I got some more news today (not health wise) that I don't really feel like going into, and is something I will have to deal with tomorrow.
I want a job. I want to be able to help those I love. Even though I know I cannot give every piece of myself to help others, I still feel bad when I don't. I guess time will dull that.
I need a time machine. I hate not having to plan around a completely separate family, like I did a few years ago. I miss being loved. I miss it a lot, but I love being free. Who wants to make me feel loved and still let me be free?