long night

[tsprincessdayna]

Its 3 a.m., cant sleep. This was the norm before HRT from my dysphoria. And now its rearing its ugly head tonight. Maybe its just me. lets self analyze this, its something ive gotten good at avoiding therapists my adult life. we are the key to how we truly feel anyways

Comments

[indnor]

Bear in mind some of the weight you have is muscle, which most trans women do end up having more of than most cis women. I'm 5'7" and have gained some weight, currently resting about 152, about 12 more than when I started HRT.

I have gained fat on my thighs (still nice and muscular, but also have a feminine shape rather than being straight muscle), and my ass (both of which I didn't really start seeing until about a year. That slight bulge I had on my stomach is happily resting on my hips, but about three months ago I've picked up a slight bulge again on the stomach, likely part of the weight gain.
I've always had a super high metabolism, but I think it has slowed down a little, which is logical since women tend to have slower metabolisms than men.

Depending on your muscle mass, I think 155 might be a bit low, or just about right.

Not drinking sugared drinks makes a huge difference. I know you mentioned soda, but what about coffee? I need my coffee with lots of (sugared) flavour, which I'm guessing is a big part of my gain. Gatorade, power aid and stuff like that? Even juice, though I'll give a bit on juice as there are many health benefits to fruit juices.

Another point that is worth bringing up because it's common for men (which you were conditioned to be one, to some degree or another), is eating big meals. It is healthier to eat 4-7 smaller meals a day than 2-3 big ones, and it helps with the weight tremendously.

[tsprincessdayna]

ya, ive noticed my metabolism has tremendously slowed down, which scares me. Now, I know this here fat comes into play, but- as for that, i have a decent muscel mass. not tremendously, but its there. and its all from when i went in the Army, meh. it needs to go away asap....which some of it already is, albiet to a very tiny degree. oprah arm exsists minorly now, and my forearms have more fat there then before when it was once all muscle. those are my areas of focus for transition as for going away. my stomach is not a huge problem, as it always had a female tone due to larger hip bone structure then any man has, they sit kind of high. even in the army i never got a muscular stomach, so its always had a feminine tone. im sure as more fat redistributes down there, things will be fine and more curvy.

the whole coffee thing, gawd. i love my coffee to a sugary degree and level. its a nessecity *if* i drink coffee which is more the exception thn the norm. i do a red bull a day for the b12 and other vitamins, not in so much as for the other stuff asside from energy it gives me.

my eatig, heh, is funny. my stomach seems to have shrank so it like a bunch of small snacks, and then a dinner, which is decreasing in size. i jut eat to the point of full if that makes sence, which is not and wont be decadence. last week i indulged all you can eat crab legs and that was friday. it took till today to notice the drop in weight again....holding a steady 176 atm.....im sure as muscle mass goes down and fat is replacing it, and a small excerisze regime with a proper dier i can achieve a not so heavy figure. to me, im over weight....i just want a slim tone like before the 3 yers in the army. i figure itll take a year to undue three, if i focus on it, more now then before as i have the confidence to :) There is a ton more to this i jsut cant thin cuz i gotta get to work, ima respond to everyone comments here in a bit. <3 hope ur having a good day :)