Happy Fucking Birthday
I'm 28.
I feel a drift. As High as I tried to start this year fate has stepped in - with a much twisted sense of humour. It has been a long time since I posted. But for anyone actually reading this. My Wonderful Baby sister ran away from home last august. I became a bit of a hermit after that, I feel it was more out of a sense of obligation to my parents,
I love them. I was afraid of what they would do....much like the others. But as often found, I take that to a higher level. Spending almost every waking minute with them is overkill. .....So you feel. Gina (the youngest) can't even give a reason for why she has left. You worry and consider every little thing you have ever done. Every word ever said, every action ever taken. What you could have done.....what you shouldn't have?
I thought it was the worse thing that could eve happpen.....The most pain I had ever felt. Sadly it was yet to come.
I had tried to turn it around in the new year. NEW ME. to work on the things I wanted....needed. Life is short.
I sentence I would learn too quickly. On the 5th of June, I lost one of my closest friends. She had fought and beat cancer last year. And after some celebration, I took for granted her support. I wish I had told her everything....but I thought about the trivial drama I was living through....and kept quiet, all but the odd "hey hows its going..."
I received a message on new year....the cancer was back. Think I had more time to meet and speak we talked about arranging a date to meet......
5th Feb. I received a call from her husband. Claire shephard. One of the most wonderful people I have ever had the fortune to know had passed. I have fought for weeks to remember my last words. The last thought. The last hug.
I miss her. I am going through a lot at home and I wish I could just tell her how I feel....I wish I had told her everything. She would have given the best advice...she always did. Always made me laugh.
I felt my problems were so small....but now she is gone I know she would have always been there....I should have take more time
I am 28
Bitter. Sad. And Alone. This may go unnoticed....if I was a lesser person this may be it. But despite the booze. I live to live. Life is there to live...don't wate the chances you are given.
I love you Claire
I feel a drift. As High as I tried to start this year fate has stepped in - with a much twisted sense of humour. It has been a long time since I posted. But for anyone actually reading this. My Wonderful Baby sister ran away from home last august. I became a bit of a hermit after that, I feel it was more out of a sense of obligation to my parents,
I love them. I was afraid of what they would do....much like the others. But as often found, I take that to a higher level. Spending almost every waking minute with them is overkill. .....So you feel. Gina (the youngest) can't even give a reason for why she has left. You worry and consider every little thing you have ever done. Every word ever said, every action ever taken. What you could have done.....what you shouldn't have?
I thought it was the worse thing that could eve happpen.....The most pain I had ever felt. Sadly it was yet to come.
I had tried to turn it around in the new year. NEW ME. to work on the things I wanted....needed. Life is short.
I sentence I would learn too quickly. On the 5th of June, I lost one of my closest friends. She had fought and beat cancer last year. And after some celebration, I took for granted her support. I wish I had told her everything....but I thought about the trivial drama I was living through....and kept quiet, all but the odd "hey hows its going..."
I received a message on new year....the cancer was back. Think I had more time to meet and speak we talked about arranging a date to meet......
5th Feb. I received a call from her husband. Claire shephard. One of the most wonderful people I have ever had the fortune to know had passed. I have fought for weeks to remember my last words. The last thought. The last hug.
I miss her. I am going through a lot at home and I wish I could just tell her how I feel....I wish I had told her everything. She would have given the best advice...she always did. Always made me laugh.
I felt my problems were so small....but now she is gone I know she would have always been there....I should have take more time
I am 28
Bitter. Sad. And Alone. This may go unnoticed....if I was a lesser person this may be it. But despite the booze. I live to live. Life is there to live...don't wate the chances you are given.
I love you Claire