FUCK NEW YEARS.. I feel obligated to love it.
So it's a new year, and I suppose I should write a meaningful entry.
Tonight, another amazing night at the Arnouk residence, with the people that matter the most to me. I realized that, no matter how much these fuckheads get on my nerves well only one fuckhead.. I still love him. And yet again, I realized how much I appreciate the warmth of someone's affection. I know that I tend to thrive on that sometimes, I really think I'm getting better though, I just think as the year(s) go on, I'm really getting wiser(of course) and I like it, actually I really dont know if I like it, it's kinda scary to think that i'm growing up and that time is passing so fast. Some people really make me happy, just by showing how much they care,not just for me, but all of our friends. And I happen to love how some care about just being there with a group of friends, laying there with me and can be truly happy. I realized that no matter how fucking weird my friends are, I still love them, especially when we pass around the phone to fuck around with my drunk mom. I grow to love these kids more and more everytime I'm with them, even Jay's jokes, I can't help but laugh. I realized how well Katie actually knows me, and how much I appreciate her. I saw how my love for Brittany comes back when I'm with her, and how I miss how we were very much, but people change and things happen, and change everything, and I know that. I've come to deal with it, I'm not upset, it's how people grow, and I think that there is a possibilty for getting those old days back.Hopefully next summer, we'll become just as close, if not closer than the last. I've decided that I no longer miss the summer but I am looking forward to the next. I saw how I worry about my friends and care about them very much. I would never want to see anything bad happen to them, I dont know what I would do. I saw how I miss talking to Matt and Mike, and I'm going to start conversing with them more from now on, I guess you can call that a New Years resolution.. but I dont think I like setting rules for myself.. I always end up disappointed. I guess you can say I'm somewhat spineless, or un-commiting.. I'm not sure anymore. All I know is that in the past couple of weeks, I realized how I have no control over myself. I've decided not to care though. So I'm not going to look at the summer and miss it, but to be grateful that it happend and look forward to the next amazing nights at katies house and in brittany's driveway, and at the parks.. and I guess meeting new friends, but I'm so happy with the ones I have right now. I've decided that nothing worth worrying over, and it's not worth the stress.. So my.. semi- New Years resolutions.. Not to worry about things so much. And just accept things for what they're becoming. I know this is quite long.. but it is sincere. Thanks ALL OF YOU, for being there and caring. you guys are the reason I am happy. I think I feel very accomplished, i've gotten through the year being (most of the time) happy.
Tonight, another amazing night at the Arnouk residence, with the people that matter the most to me. I realized that, no matter how much these fuckheads get on my nerves well only one fuckhead.. I still love him. And yet again, I realized how much I appreciate the warmth of someone's affection. I know that I tend to thrive on that sometimes, I really think I'm getting better though, I just think as the year(s) go on, I'm really getting wiser(of course) and I like it, actually I really dont know if I like it, it's kinda scary to think that i'm growing up and that time is passing so fast. Some people really make me happy, just by showing how much they care,not just for me, but all of our friends. And I happen to love how some care about just being there with a group of friends, laying there with me and can be truly happy. I realized that no matter how fucking weird my friends are, I still love them, especially when we pass around the phone to fuck around with my drunk mom. I grow to love these kids more and more everytime I'm with them, even Jay's jokes, I can't help but laugh. I realized how well Katie actually knows me, and how much I appreciate her. I saw how my love for Brittany comes back when I'm with her, and how I miss how we were very much, but people change and things happen, and change everything, and I know that. I've come to deal with it, I'm not upset, it's how people grow, and I think that there is a possibilty for getting those old days back.Hopefully next summer, we'll become just as close, if not closer than the last. I've decided that I no longer miss the summer but I am looking forward to the next. I saw how I worry about my friends and care about them very much. I would never want to see anything bad happen to them, I dont know what I would do. I saw how I miss talking to Matt and Mike, and I'm going to start conversing with them more from now on, I guess you can call that a New Years resolution.. but I dont think I like setting rules for myself.. I always end up disappointed. I guess you can say I'm somewhat spineless, or un-commiting.. I'm not sure anymore. All I know is that in the past couple of weeks, I realized how I have no control over myself. I've decided not to care though. So I'm not going to look at the summer and miss it, but to be grateful that it happend and look forward to the next amazing nights at katies house and in brittany's driveway, and at the parks.. and I guess meeting new friends, but I'm so happy with the ones I have right now. I've decided that nothing worth worrying over, and it's not worth the stress.. So my.. semi- New Years resolutions.. Not to worry about things so much. And just accept things for what they're becoming. I know this is quite long.. but it is sincere. Thanks ALL OF YOU, for being there and caring. you guys are the reason I am happy. I think I feel very accomplished, i've gotten through the year being (most of the time) happy.