Stressedness & Then Some
Today is just one of those days that drags by so slowly when you want it to be jus done and over with. Today seems like all the obstacles have come out to play and you're jus not in the mood.
Today I was on the verge to cry and jus yell. I felt like I needed to scream out to get all the stress out of me. I wanted to jus go back into my room, wake up and start the day all over again. I wanted things to be different, but I knew that it wasn't going to happen like that.
I'm tired of
being the president of the dine club
being the one that has to do everything
no one knowing what to do for the club, but is to "busy" to learn about it
having everyone put the club last and expect me to put the club first.
not get any help when I ask, but helping others out when they do
not getting a break
math because it's really not that important for my degree program
knowing so many people and still not knowing anyone
getting asked out by people that I don't like that way
not getting asked out by the person that I want to
EVERYTHING
I'm not even sure if I want to come back to school next semester. It's really hard for me being here because people know what I'm like and now they expect me to be a certain way or do certain things, and to be honest, I'm starting to get tired of living up to everyone's expectations. It's too much for me. I left Utah and my family because I was competeing against my auntie who passed away and my cousin sister and my uncle, it was too much. So what if I do run away from tuff choice, so do plenty of other people. Leave me alone and leave me out of it. I'll become another statistic, it's not like I'm not one already. No matter what I do I'll be a statistic because I'm of the minority. Why should it matter anyways, right? I'll be like sarah palin, attend 6 different colleges and get my degree, but then look down at other people or not even compare myself to other poeple who do or have done the same. What a hyprocrate!
Alright, I'm jus too stressed out to deal with anything. I need to get this paper done that's due like an hour ago and pray to god that he's on my side so that I get at least a half decent grade on what I've done. I also need to start breathing. I've come to notice that when I'm upset or stressed out I tend to hold my breath.
Oh yeah I got my Flu shot and my Menigitis shot today!! I seriously left in tears! I hate getting shots. I sometimes can't even do the whole plasing thing because of the needle thing, but I get money out of it so I do do it. Anyways, that's what has been going on. . .And all that was jus today!! Starting off at 10 am and still going on. I think I might go to Colls and Ty's and get me a shot. I need something to calm me down. I can't keep doing all this. I'm going to get old soon and fast!! LOL oh god.
Today I was on the verge to cry and jus yell. I felt like I needed to scream out to get all the stress out of me. I wanted to jus go back into my room, wake up and start the day all over again. I wanted things to be different, but I knew that it wasn't going to happen like that.
I'm tired of
being the president of the dine club
being the one that has to do everything
no one knowing what to do for the club, but is to "busy" to learn about it
having everyone put the club last and expect me to put the club first.
not get any help when I ask, but helping others out when they do
not getting a break
math because it's really not that important for my degree program
knowing so many people and still not knowing anyone
getting asked out by people that I don't like that way
not getting asked out by the person that I want to
EVERYTHING
I'm not even sure if I want to come back to school next semester. It's really hard for me being here because people know what I'm like and now they expect me to be a certain way or do certain things, and to be honest, I'm starting to get tired of living up to everyone's expectations. It's too much for me. I left Utah and my family because I was competeing against my auntie who passed away and my cousin sister and my uncle, it was too much. So what if I do run away from tuff choice, so do plenty of other people. Leave me alone and leave me out of it. I'll become another statistic, it's not like I'm not one already. No matter what I do I'll be a statistic because I'm of the minority. Why should it matter anyways, right? I'll be like sarah palin, attend 6 different colleges and get my degree, but then look down at other people or not even compare myself to other poeple who do or have done the same. What a hyprocrate!
Alright, I'm jus too stressed out to deal with anything. I need to get this paper done that's due like an hour ago and pray to god that he's on my side so that I get at least a half decent grade on what I've done. I also need to start breathing. I've come to notice that when I'm upset or stressed out I tend to hold my breath.
Oh yeah I got my Flu shot and my Menigitis shot today!! I seriously left in tears! I hate getting shots. I sometimes can't even do the whole plasing thing because of the needle thing, but I get money out of it so I do do it. Anyways, that's what has been going on. . .And all that was jus today!! Starting off at 10 am and still going on. I think I might go to Colls and Ty's and get me a shot. I need something to calm me down. I can't keep doing all this. I'm going to get old soon and fast!! LOL oh god.