fic: This Year's Love (andrew/jesse, prompt 76) part 1 of 2
Title: This Year’s Love.
Recipient: kissoffools
Prompt Number: #76
Characters/Pairings: Jesse/Andrew
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 (for sex and language.)
Word Count: 11,500.
Disclaimer: This fanwork portrays fictional representations of real actors involved in The Social Network. These are not true accounts or meant to imply anything about these real people.
Summary (or prompt scenario): A year in text messages.
Notes: this doesn’t stick to any of the actual work commitments of either of them for this year; mainly because I was too lazy to figure out/didn’t know when they would be doing what so just go with it. It is also based on the idea that they got together just after the release of the social network. I have never written anything this long or in this amazing fandom of ridiculously talented writers before but I hope this is along the lines of what the prompter was looking for.
January.
Jesse looks up from his phone to see his mother smiling over at him, a knowing expression on her face even as she tries to pretend she’s actually paying attention to the drinks she’s pouring, Jesse just shrugs and smiles.
“It’s midnight in the UK” he says, clarifying what she already knows, that it is Andrew who is making him look soppy and ridiculous and as Emma described it ‘glowing’ which is insane and definitely not true because Jesse isn’t a pregnant woman. But still he’s happy and excited for the New Year for a reason other than work and that hasn’t happened in a long time. At first he’d been a little put out when Andrew had said his mum was insisting he go home for New Year’s, but they had just spent Christmas in New York together so really he had no reason to pissed, plus he’s seeing him in four days (not that he’s counting) and they both have time off together before the year properly starts. That thought alone is pretty much all that is getting him through a prolonged period at home because even though he loves his mom she can be more than a little overbearing, his dad has mostly been at work since Jesse got back to New Jersey and his sisters haven’t been around all that much, too busy with their respective boyfriends. Not that he’s jealous or anything.
“Tell him we say hello and happy New Year!” Jesse’s mom says as she sits down beside him on the couch, pushing a glass of champagne into his hands despite the fact that it’s barely half past seven. Jesse rolls his eyes but nods anyway, quickly typing out ‘my parents say hello and happy new year… I’m also having alcohol forced upon me… send help!’ and he can imagine Andrew reading it, rolling his eyes fondly as he imagines Jesse drunk, something which almost never happens. The way he can imagine Andrew’s reactions so easily makes something warm bubble in Jesse’s chest, something they decided was love well over a year ago now and somehow it still takes him by surprise.
By the time the New Year bell is ringing in in New Jersey Jesse assumes Andrew must be asleep because it is the middle of the night where he is and yet at 00:10 his phone chimes with a text happy AMERICAN new year baby <3 is all it says, but it’s enough that well over an hour later Jesse is still smiling as he falls asleep.
February.
On Valentine’s Day Jesse is a little bit put out that Andrew is away filming across the country in L.A but he knows that is just how this works, sometimes Andrew won’t be around, just like sometimes he isn’t around. That doesn’t mean he has to like it, but at least Andrew will be home tomorrow - home that started off as Jesse’s flat but slowly became both of theirs, home that is Andrew’s only permanent base in the States, home that now has a TV but still has three cats. They never actually officially moved in together but it got to the point where three months had gone by and Andrew hadn’t so much as gone back to his own flat to water the plants, so Jesse suggested he sell it and Andrew did.
It’s comforting when Andrew’s away (and Jesse is feeling a little more neurotic than usual) to see all of his things scattered around the living room, to see his clothes hanging in the closet, because it means he has to come back, that he left all of this stuff here so he must want to come back. And it’s that thought that gets Jesse through the weeks apart, the thought that he’ll always come home because that’s just how their lives are now. (Well, it’s also text messages and Skype sessions and lots of phone sex that helps along with that thought, but the point remains the same.)
So it’s six in the evening on Valentine’s Day and Andrew’s not there, but the cats are and Jesse has ordered take away Chinese food and maybe if he’s lucky Andrew will finish early enough for a phone call before bed, maybe they’ll be able to get off together even if they’re thousands of miles apart when they should really be in the same bed tonight. Jesse sits on the too small sofa slowly picking his way through the takeout cartons spread across the coffee table, some vaguely interesting documentary on the TV and a cat on his lap when there is a knock on the door. He’s slightly annoyed about being interrupted as he untangles himself from the cat, not particularly in the mood for company from anyone other than a ridiculous British hipster with stupid hair and that’s not happening tonight. Except when he opens the door there he is, looking exhausted but gorgeous and happy and so, so Andrew.
“What the…” Jesse starts, even as his hands are reaching out to grab at Andrew’s shirt, curling around the soft, well-worn material.
“Surprise!” Is all Andrew says in reply, easily complying with Jesse’s hands that are pulling him closer, into an embrace that isn’t really a hug but is close and warm and feels like home. Andrew leans forward then, bending down to nuzzle at the column of Jesse’s neck, making the other man hum in pleasure.
“Can I come in then?” Andrew asks, not moving his face as his words ghost over Jesse’s skin.
“What? Yes. Fuck, yes come on.” And then they’re in the hallway of their flat, Andrew’s back pressed firmly against the door and Jesse doesn’t care about the how or why he is here because all that matters is that he is. They’re kissing then, long and deep and wanting, everything that they’ve both needed for weeks and it doesn’t matter that Andrew tastes like too much coffee, Jesse like Chinese food. They stay like that for a long time, just kissing and clinging to each other in their tiny little hallway, two of the cats twining around Andrew’s ankles to welcome him home but he never pulls away from Jesse, savouring the taste of his mouth, the feeling of his old t-shirt, the gasping sound he makes occasionally.
“Ow! Fuck.” Andrew says as he eventually moves back, one of the cats biting at his leg for attention “Alright, hi, I’m happy to see you guys too” he mutters, bending down to brush his fingers along Peanut’s ginger fur, scratching behind Henry’s ear. (The cats were originally foster cats of course, hence the stupid names that Jesse despairs of and Andrew finds hilarious - who the fuck calls a cat Henry anyway?)
“Come on, bring them with you. I have Chinese food” Jesse says, turning to move back towards to living room as Andrew hastily kicks off his shoes and drops his bags before following.
Hours later they’re naked and sated and wrapped around each other on the bed, sheets bunched messily around them, skimming over the lines of Jesse’s legs, hooked over the knob of Andrew’s hip and it’s so warm and comfortable and right that Jesse kind of wants to cry.
“Are you going to actually tell me how you’re here then?” Jesse asks, voice scratchy from gasping Andrew’s name for the better part of an hour.
“Well you see Jess, there are these amazing thing’s called aeroplanes…” Jesse punches him and Andrew just laughs, quiet but carefree and happy.
“I did two night shoots last week to cram in the scenes and after a lot of begging they said they had enough for me to take today off… I could tell how bummed out you were about us being apart today and I just wanted to be back here so bad.”
“I love you” is all Jesse says back, because it’s true and because it tells Andrew everything he needs to know - that not sleeping for three days was absolutely worth it, that spending five hours on a plane next to a screaming baby was a minor price to pay to be here, Jesse’s sweaty curls under his chin, his long fingers tracing lines across his chest.
“Love you too Jess.”
March.
It’s ridiculous really that they’ve been together for a year and a half (known each other for another year on top of that) and Jesse is yet to actually meet Andrew’s parents. Which is why he’s now sat in the departures lounge of JFK waiting to board a flight that will take him to London, to Andrew and his parents and a never ending list of possible ways Jesse can fuck this meeting up. Andrew’s already been there for a week because it was his grandmother’s birthday on Saturday but Jesse had been busy with his last week of promotion for his latest film and so they couldn’t fly out together. So now here he is, alone and panicking without Andrew to talk him down with quiet words and gentle hands and a six hour flight ahead in which he can create all the worst case scenarios possible.
Meeting the parents isn’t something he’s done much, there was only really Anna and a girl in high school before Andrew and neither of those first meetings went particularly well - Jesse more quiet and awkward than usual, the fathers discussing how acting was a ‘risky business’ and the mothers cooing over his curls and good manners like he was a five year old. It was uncomfortable and weird and Jesse hadn’t been in a hurry to repeat the experience. Rationally he knows this is different, Andrew is an actor too, they’ve already been together for a substantial amount of time, and Jesse isn’t quite as shy and odd as he had been at twenty one. But this time he’s flying across the fucking world for the meetings and can’t just run home if it all goes to shit.
And then the flight attendant is calling them to board and Jesse is distracted for half an hour as he settles himself on the plane, thankful that he can afford business class these days and doesn’t have to be crammed in next to strangers.
Somehow before Jesse can really process it it’s six hours later and he’s stepping into the chilly English air, following the streams of people to baggage claim, searching for his bag that was a present from Andrew and is adorned with vintage style American flags and is actually pretty embarrassing. And then he’s walking into arrivals and just like he said he would be Andrew is stood there with a sign that says ‘Signor Eisenberg’ and Jesse can’t help but fondly roll his eyes.
“You’re an idiot” he says even as Andrew is pulling into a tight hug, kissing his neck slyly so that no one can see but Jesse can feel.
“I missed you too” Andrew says cheekily with a wink “come on, the car is outside.”
“You have a car over here?” Jesse asks surprised, because once he moved to the States properly he’d shipped his car over there so it is now sat beside the stupid Vespa in his garage spot.
“No it’s my dad’s. And it’s fucking weird driving on the opposite side of the road again so I should apologise now in case I kill us.”
Jesse scoffs “Well, that’s comforting.”
There are a few paps outside like there always is but they came out months ago so Jesse doesn’t panic like he used to, just grips his bag harder as Andrew slips a hand into his and pulls him towards the car park.
The drive to Andrew’s parents’ house takes almost two hours and Jesse spends almost all of it freaking out silently whilst Andrew looks on knowingly, reassuring him that it’s going to be fine, that they’ll love him and Jesse doesn’t believe a single word.
“I still don’t know why we couldn’t book a hotel and meet them tomorrow. I’ve not slept and I look like shit and…” Jesse trails, not happy with the thought that they’re fucking staying with Andrew’s parents, that he has nowhere to run.
Andrew pulls over then onto a quiet street with large lawns and comfortable middle class houses.
“Look at me Jess” Andrew says, reaching over to grasp his hands firmly “I love you for being so bothered about making a good first impression on my parents but you have to know that even if this all goes horribly, then it really doesn’t matter. I live with you. We have a life together. They know this and respect it, so even if they don’t like you - which is never going to happen - but even if it does, then I’m still coming home with you on that plane in three days. And I promise if after tonight you still feel uncomfortable staying here then I’ll tell them you want to sight see in London and we’ll go find a hotel okay?”
Jesse just nods because he thinks he’ll cry if he tries to speak.
There is a late lunch waiting for them inside the house, spread across the dining table that Andrew’s mother is fussing over whilst his father sits in the corner, reading a newspaper and telling her to calm down. Jesse and Andrew stand there unnoticed for a moment and Jesse can’t help but smile at the Garfield men, knowing now where Andrew gets that quietly comforting voice from.
“He’s right Mum, Jess has just spent the morning eating plane food, anything is better than that.” Andrew says and they snap their heads towards them in the doorway.
“Oh! You’re here!” Andrew’s mother says before blushing “come on in then. You must be Jesse. I’m Sally and this is David” and then she’s pulling Jesse into a hug before he can really do anything about it and all he can think is she’d get on well with my mom which makes him feel weird and warm inside.
“I, er. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Jesse…obviously.” And he awkwardly shakes Andrew’s dad’s hand before they all sit down, Andrew beside him, a reassuring hand on his thigh.
It goes surprisingly well, Andrew holding most of the conversation until Jesse feels comfortable enough to join in, telling them about the cats and his film that just came out (“Oh we saw it last week! It was wonderful!” Sally says and Jesse feels like he might set on fire he blushes so hard) and about his pretty uneventful flight over.
When they’ve finished eating and Jesse offers to help clean up Sally waves him away with a dismissive hand before Andrew cuts in.
“You should let him help Mum, I can assure you that he actually weirdly wants to do it and isn’t just being polite” and Jesse has never loved him more because otherwise he’ll just spend the night feeling guilty about the whole thing. Sally just smiles and ushers him into the kitchen which is large and sunny and homely, and Jesse almost panics about them doing this alone together before Sally is asking if he’s read any good books recently and just like that Jesse feels at ease again.
That evening when Andrew’s parents have gone to bed and they’re lay across each other on couch in old joggers and worn t-shirts Andrew asks if he’s doing okay. Jesse knows that he’s actually asking if Jesse is coping or if he wants to leave and he’s so glad to have this fucking wonderful man who understands him without ever pushing or making him feel ridiculous.
“I’m okay. You’re so like them Andrew…. It’s. It’s a bit weird, but mostly it just makes feel comfortable.”
“Good.” Andrew kisses him then and nothing more is said because he knows Jesse will tell him if he’s uncomfortable or it’s too much.
April.
It’s a week after Andrew sends the text about central park before they both have a full day off together and when they wake up that morning the weather is bright and warm. Andrew pulls on jeans and a shirt but no jacket and Jesse follows his example, grabbing them both a bottle of chilled water from the fridge and an apple to substitute breakfast before they leave the apartment, Andrew’s arm tight around Jesse’s shoulders as they head towards the subway. Living in the West Village it barely takes half an hour on the subway to get up to Central Park and its early enough when they arrive that the place is still fairly quiet.
They grab a coffee from Starbucks closest to the Columbus circle entrance and Andrew looks happy and excited enough that Jesse doesn’t even care that he’s been here a million times already because they’ve never been together before, at least not properly, just for the sake of it. And anything that makes Andrew look like that is a good thing in Jesse’s mind.
“You’re like a child” Jesse says, teasing, as he blows the steam away from his cardboard cup.
“Going to the park on the first warm day of spring actually reminds me of being a kid so…” Andrew says blushing a little and Jesse just smiles and takes his hand. Usually he tries to avoid being too obvious with his affection where other people can see, but today it’s unlikely that there will be any paparazzi to see them anyway and besides, with Andrew in this mood it’s impossible to not touch him.
They stroll around slowly, unhurried for once and it feels actually feels wonderful to be able to enjoy the sun, to enjoy Andrew’s company outside of their apartment, to buy bagels from one of the venders and cheekily take a bite out of each other’s. They stop by the reservoir on the east side by the Met and contemplate going in before Andrew decides they can go to the Met anytime, that he doesn’t want to waste the beautiful weather in a museum. Jesse is happy with whatever so he just nods and takes Andrew’s hand again, declaring that they should time themselves to see how long it takes to walk around the reservoir. Andrew calls him ridiculous but agrees anyway.
They hang around the park until the sun starts to set, sinking down behind the tall buildings that frame it and Andrew suggests they go out for dinner, his treat. They stay uptown to try something new instead of going the Thai place around the corner from their apartment like usual and end up in a small but overpriced Italian restaurant and share four different starters and a ridiculously large portion of pasta. Andrew pays and Jesse thanks him with kisses that taste like the wine they had with the meal, feeling a little drunk and tired but happy.
Back at the apartment Jesse applies aloe to Andrew’s sunburnt nose and his own pink cheeks and Andrew can’t stop smiling.
“D’you think in ten years we’ll be spending days like today with our kids?” Andrew asks and Jesse’s heart swells in his chest.
“I hope so.”
May.
Andrew’s been in England for two weeks so far, first for five intense days of promotion and then he decided to stay because it was his mum’s birthday the following Friday. Jesse doesn’t blame him, not after Andrew told him it had been over three years since he saw either of his parents on their birthday but he also wishes Andrew was at home or even that he was there. But he’s got a month of solid shooting in New York so he can’t go anywhere.
It’s only early evening when he crawls into bed that night after a hasty dinner of rice and vegetables because it was the easiest thing and filming has been brutal the past few days and he misses Andrew so much that he doesn’t even think about waking him up before sending the text. The reply he gets is almost instantaneous so he stops worrying about it being much later over there and decides to see if Andrew wants to have some fun. They do this a lot when they’re apart but it’s not often that Jesse instigates it, usually waiting for Andrew to text him something filthy and outrageous or to call him with that catch in his voice that Jesse knows means he’s alone and horny and missing him.
Jesse lies there, naked after hastily stripping away his boxers and slowly gets harder as they exchange more and more texts before finally thinking ‘fuck it’ when Andrew text back with fucking hell Jess! which isn’t enough for him in this state. So he clicks away from the messages and presses call instead, needing to hear Andrew’s voice, husky and turned on, accent stronger after a fortnight in England.
“Hey baby” Andrew says after one ring and Jesse swallows hard, knowing from those two words alone that Andrew is already touching himself.
“Hmmm, started without me have you?” Jesse asks, teasing, hoping he sounds remotely sexy.
“You drive me fucking crazy Jess, I can’t help myself. Fuck.”
“You should talk to me to make it up to me.” Jesse moans, wrapping his hand around himself finally, wishing it was Andrews ridiculously long fingers instead. Andrew groans on the other end of the line and swallows hard, the gulp audible over the line and Jesse can picture him so clearly, spread out across his white bed sheets, legs wide and bent as he bites his lip and lazily pumps himself, torn between wanting to come and wanting to make this last.
“What do you want to know baby?” Andrew asks and Jesse can hear the smirk in his voice.
“I want to know what you’re planning on doing when you’re back in our bed with me.” Jesse’s voice is sure, desperate to imagine them here, together, naked and hard and shameless in a way that Jesse never imagined he could be.
“Fucking hell Jess, I’m counting the seconds until I’m back there. I can’t fucking wait to strip you down and spread you out and just touch you. Tease you until you’re begging for more than lazy caresses and gentle kisses even though I know you secretly love it when I do that to you.”
“It’s not… not a secret” Jesse is gasping already, even though they’ve barely began but he can’t help himself. Andrew hums on the other end of the line and Jesse apologises for interrupting him, urges him to carry on.
“Then I’d ask you what you want me to do, ask if you want my mouth around you, sucking you until you can’t think of anything other than my name or if you want me inside you, slow and deep like I know you like it… or if you want to be inside me, hard and fast like you know I fucking love it. What would you tell me Jess?”
“I…fuck. I want you inside me Andrew.” Jesse contemplates finding one of their toys then, playing along with the fantasy but he’s already too far gone to bother with preparation and he just wants to come, so he stays as he is, hand clasped tightly around himself as the other grips the phone tight between sweaty fingers.
“Hmmm. I bet you do. I keep dreaming about it Jess, about bending you over the end of the bed and fucking you until you’re screaming, hard enough that you’ll feel it all fucking week and know only I can do that to you.”
“Jesus Christ.” The words come from behind gritted teeth as Jesse speeds up his hand, almost but not quite there. “I’m so close Andrew, fuck.”
“Me too baby. Imagine that’s my hand around you… that’s what I’m doing, pretending this is you, the way you flick your thumb across the head makes me fucking crazy… ugh.”
Jesse comes then, mouth opening in a silent scream that ends with Andrew’s name who is gasping on the other end of the line, mumbling the word ‘fuck’ over and over so that Jesse knows he’s there too.
They clean up slowly, exchanging tired words and long silences that almost make Jesse feel like Andrew is in the room until the other man falls asleep and Jesse says a quiet “I love you” before hanging up.
June.
It’s not that Jesse doesn’t like vacations per se, it’s more about the fact that he spends so much time away from home as it is that when he has time off he’d much rather sleep in his own bed instead of another hotel with not enough pillows and too many layers of sheets. But he also trusts Andrew to know him well enough not to take him somewhere that Jesse will hate, somewhere posh or loud or touristy. He lives in New York so he has enough of the latter two on a daily basis. When he asks what he should pack for this surprise vacation Andrew just shrugs.
“Whatever you want Jess, it’s a vacation!”
“That really doesn’t help Andrew… is it going to be hot? Or freezing for that matter… Will I need insect repellent or sun lotion? What about a bathing suit?” The questions tumble out one after the other as Andrew stands there and rolls his eyes.
“It’ll be as hot as it is here, it’s not too far actually but I’m not planning on going to the beach or anything so just, imagine you’re going on a city break or something. If we forget anything we can always just buy it once we get there.” Andrew smiles lightly, kisses Jesse temple and leaves the bedroom to attend to the cats in the kitchen.
“Useless” Jesse mutters before pulling out a few t-shirts and a couple of pairs of jeans. He figures Andrew is right - anything that he urgently needs he can always buy when they get to wherever it is that they’re going.
“DON’T FORGET YOUR GLASSES AND CONTACT SOLUTION!” Andrew shouts through then and Jesse can’t help but smile, remembering the one time he forgot both and freaked out to Andrew for an hour before the other man took him to the drug store and bought some more solution, reminding Jesse not fall asleep with his contacts in or he’d be screwed.
“You ready to go?” Andrew asks an hour later - he packed his own bag last night whilst Jesse was still at work and hid it in the car before Jesse could sneakily peak at anything that might clue him into where they were heading.
“Yep.” Jesse says slinging the same vintage American flag patterned bag that he took to London over his shoulder before leaning down to pet the cats a final time.
“How long does it take to get there?” Jesse asks in the car, it’s still only early morning but Andrew had waited to miss the rush hour traffic.
“About four hours maybe. But I’m sure you’ll be able to guess where it is once we get close enough, it’ll be pretty obvious when you see certain road signs.”
Andrew isn’t wrong and they’ve still got over an hour’s worth of driving to go if Andrew’s estimation is right but Jesse is positive he knows where they’re going. He doesn’t say anything though and it’s not just because the lump in his throat is making it difficult to speak but rather because Andrew wanted this to be a surprise and he wants to play along.
And then they’re pulling into the driveway of the old condo they rented in Massachusetts and Andrew’s smile is brighter than the fucking sun as he turns to Jesse.
“Did you guess?” he asks as he unbuckles their seatbelts and leans across the car to run a hand into Jesse’s curls.
“About an hour ago” Jesse admits with a laugh “but… how? Doesn’t someone live here now or something?”
“Yeah… but they quickly came around the idea when I offered to not only rent the condo off them for the weekend, but also to send them away on their own vacation so…” Andrew shrugs and looks a little sheepish.
“I just wanted to come back to where it all started… spend some time just us for a change. No work. No families… just me and you.”
And so even though Jesse really doesn’t like surprises and isn’t wild about vacations either he can’t help but melt at the sentiment, at the thought of being back here where they first got to know each other, way before they even got together, back when it was all pining and get a grip of yourself Jesse he has a girlfriend!
The weekend is quiet, low key and exactly what Jesse needs. They lose themselves in each other, in clean sheets and Andrew’s old bed and joint showers before spending the days at the park down the road or trying out all the little diners across town - some familiar, some that they’ve never been to before. Jesse reads two books without being interrupted and starts work on a screenplay that he’s been mulling over for months now and Andrew mostly watches him from behind his laptop, looking fond and happy and like he loves Jesse so much that it hurts.
They take turns each night cooking, setting the table in the middle of the kitchen that they used to each breakfast together at each day and it’s not extravagant or even particularly romantic but still it’s fucking perfect.
On Monday morning Jesse wakes up and thinks ‘I don’t actually want to go back to New York yet’ and usually he is desperate to get home to his flat and the cats and familiarity and he thinks of how well Andrew knows him to take them to the one place where Jesse won’t feel homesick.
“We should do this every year” Jesse says to Andrew who is still mostly asleep but he smiles back anyway.
“Okay.” Is all Andrew says and it’s all he needs to because it tells Jesse that he plans for them to be spending many lazy June weekends together in the future, somehow the thought of coming back makes him a little less upset at leaving.
July.
After their weekend in Massachusetts’s Andrew had two days in New York before getting on a plane to L.A to start shooting a new movie. It’s now edging closer and closer to the end of July and Jesse is finding it harder and harder to pretend he’s coping with being apart for so long. They speak most nights, Jesse normally falling asleep to the sound of Andrew’s voice but it’s still not enough and he understands what it’s like to be filming for twelve hours a day and only have half an hour to spare before collapsing into an exhausted heap but that doesn’t mean he has to like it.
Tonight is the third night in a row when Andrew’s filming schedule has ran over time and he’s not bothered to even text Jesse to let him know they won’t be able to talk at their usual time. And it shouldn’t be a big deal, it really shouldn’t but it’s the middle of the night in New York and Jesse is pissed and lonely and tired of having only the cats and his right hand for company.
He doesn’t mean to lose it, doesn’t mean to sound petty and petulant by telling Andrew he doesn’t want to talk but then the other man throws the fact that Jesse isn’t working right now into the mix and it’s such a cheap shot. Andrew knows that he gets irritable and insecure and even fucking more neurotic than usual when he isn’t filming or promoting and the fact that he uses it against Jesse feels a little bit like a kick in the stomach.
And then Andrew is telling him to grow up and Jesse can barely see through his anger and upset to text back ’fuck you Andrew.’ He turns off his phone and rolls over restlessly, it’s 2am, he should be asleep, but all he can do is lie there and alternate between panicking and seething because this isn’t them, they don’t argue over petty things - fuck, they don’t argue over work. When they first got together Jesse quickly realised that this relationship would be easier because Andrew was an actor too, because he could understand insane work hours and late nights and time apart. Only now that all feels like a lie because here they are, arguing, through fucking texts no less, over all of the things that the other is supposed to inherently understand.
It takes a long time for Jesse to fall asleep that night and when he wakes up the next morning his head is pounding from the stressful, restless sleep and he feels sick with guilt. He should’ve understood, he should have answered the phone when Andrew tried to call, he should’ve just said they’d talk about it tomorrow. He quickly turns on his phone and there a four missed calls from Andrew and a text that simply says ’pick up Jess’ which is only from an hour ago and Jesse is pretty sure Andrew has to be on set in about three hours.
Jesse is pressing call before he even consciously realises and then there is Andrew’s voice on the other end, sounding tired and wrecked but also relieved and it just makes Jesse feel like shit.
“Jess, hey baby… I’m so sorry. I’m such a shit but I’m just fucking exhausted and I miss you too and…” Andrew starts but Jesse shushes him gently.
“Staying up all night trying to call me isn’t going to help with the exhaustion Andrew… you need to sleep. You have work today.” Jesse’s voice is firm, but loving and he doesn’t have to tell Andrew that he isn’t angry anymore because it’s there for anyone to hear.
“I couldn’t sleep with things on a bad note between us Jess, we… we don’t do that.” And Jesse doesn’t need to hear anymore because he knows that Andrew feels the same, that ridiculous arguing isn’t how this relationship works. They’re not perfect people and they don’t have the perfect relationship but they’ve always respected each other and last night that didn’t happen. Jesse knows it won’t happen again in a hurry.
“I know we don’t. But it’s okay now right? We need to talk properly but you need to sleep and go to work first, I’ll be waiting by the phone tonight, whenever you’re ready okay?”
“Jesse, I love you and this isn’t for much longer I promise… I’ll be home next week and -“
“I know Andrew. It’s fine. And I love you too okay? Just. Sleep now, we’ll talk later.”
Andrew reluctantly agrees and Jesse stays on the line until he can hear his breaths become deep and even, he’ll call back in a few hours to make sure Andrew isn’t late for work and tonight they’ll talk it out. Jesse lays back against the cushions and sighs, no, their relationship definitely isn’t perfect but it’s real and it’s theirs and deep down he knows he wouldn’t change it for the world.
continued here.
Recipient: kissoffools
Prompt Number: #76
Characters/Pairings: Jesse/Andrew
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 (for sex and language.)
Word Count: 11,500.
Disclaimer: This fanwork portrays fictional representations of real actors involved in The Social Network. These are not true accounts or meant to imply anything about these real people.
Summary (or prompt scenario): A year in text messages.
Notes: this doesn’t stick to any of the actual work commitments of either of them for this year; mainly because I was too lazy to figure out/didn’t know when they would be doing what so just go with it. It is also based on the idea that they got together just after the release of the social network. I have never written anything this long or in this amazing fandom of ridiculously talented writers before but I hope this is along the lines of what the prompter was looking for.
January.
Jesse looks up from his phone to see his mother smiling over at him, a knowing expression on her face even as she tries to pretend she’s actually paying attention to the drinks she’s pouring, Jesse just shrugs and smiles.
“It’s midnight in the UK” he says, clarifying what she already knows, that it is Andrew who is making him look soppy and ridiculous and as Emma described it ‘glowing’ which is insane and definitely not true because Jesse isn’t a pregnant woman. But still he’s happy and excited for the New Year for a reason other than work and that hasn’t happened in a long time. At first he’d been a little put out when Andrew had said his mum was insisting he go home for New Year’s, but they had just spent Christmas in New York together so really he had no reason to pissed, plus he’s seeing him in four days (not that he’s counting) and they both have time off together before the year properly starts. That thought alone is pretty much all that is getting him through a prolonged period at home because even though he loves his mom she can be more than a little overbearing, his dad has mostly been at work since Jesse got back to New Jersey and his sisters haven’t been around all that much, too busy with their respective boyfriends. Not that he’s jealous or anything.
“Tell him we say hello and happy New Year!” Jesse’s mom says as she sits down beside him on the couch, pushing a glass of champagne into his hands despite the fact that it’s barely half past seven. Jesse rolls his eyes but nods anyway, quickly typing out ‘my parents say hello and happy new year… I’m also having alcohol forced upon me… send help!’ and he can imagine Andrew reading it, rolling his eyes fondly as he imagines Jesse drunk, something which almost never happens. The way he can imagine Andrew’s reactions so easily makes something warm bubble in Jesse’s chest, something they decided was love well over a year ago now and somehow it still takes him by surprise.
By the time the New Year bell is ringing in in New Jersey Jesse assumes Andrew must be asleep because it is the middle of the night where he is and yet at 00:10 his phone chimes with a text happy AMERICAN new year baby <3 is all it says, but it’s enough that well over an hour later Jesse is still smiling as he falls asleep.
February.
On Valentine’s Day Jesse is a little bit put out that Andrew is away filming across the country in L.A but he knows that is just how this works, sometimes Andrew won’t be around, just like sometimes he isn’t around. That doesn’t mean he has to like it, but at least Andrew will be home tomorrow - home that started off as Jesse’s flat but slowly became both of theirs, home that is Andrew’s only permanent base in the States, home that now has a TV but still has three cats. They never actually officially moved in together but it got to the point where three months had gone by and Andrew hadn’t so much as gone back to his own flat to water the plants, so Jesse suggested he sell it and Andrew did.
It’s comforting when Andrew’s away (and Jesse is feeling a little more neurotic than usual) to see all of his things scattered around the living room, to see his clothes hanging in the closet, because it means he has to come back, that he left all of this stuff here so he must want to come back. And it’s that thought that gets Jesse through the weeks apart, the thought that he’ll always come home because that’s just how their lives are now. (Well, it’s also text messages and Skype sessions and lots of phone sex that helps along with that thought, but the point remains the same.)
So it’s six in the evening on Valentine’s Day and Andrew’s not there, but the cats are and Jesse has ordered take away Chinese food and maybe if he’s lucky Andrew will finish early enough for a phone call before bed, maybe they’ll be able to get off together even if they’re thousands of miles apart when they should really be in the same bed tonight. Jesse sits on the too small sofa slowly picking his way through the takeout cartons spread across the coffee table, some vaguely interesting documentary on the TV and a cat on his lap when there is a knock on the door. He’s slightly annoyed about being interrupted as he untangles himself from the cat, not particularly in the mood for company from anyone other than a ridiculous British hipster with stupid hair and that’s not happening tonight. Except when he opens the door there he is, looking exhausted but gorgeous and happy and so, so Andrew.
“What the…” Jesse starts, even as his hands are reaching out to grab at Andrew’s shirt, curling around the soft, well-worn material.
“Surprise!” Is all Andrew says in reply, easily complying with Jesse’s hands that are pulling him closer, into an embrace that isn’t really a hug but is close and warm and feels like home. Andrew leans forward then, bending down to nuzzle at the column of Jesse’s neck, making the other man hum in pleasure.
“Can I come in then?” Andrew asks, not moving his face as his words ghost over Jesse’s skin.
“What? Yes. Fuck, yes come on.” And then they’re in the hallway of their flat, Andrew’s back pressed firmly against the door and Jesse doesn’t care about the how or why he is here because all that matters is that he is. They’re kissing then, long and deep and wanting, everything that they’ve both needed for weeks and it doesn’t matter that Andrew tastes like too much coffee, Jesse like Chinese food. They stay like that for a long time, just kissing and clinging to each other in their tiny little hallway, two of the cats twining around Andrew’s ankles to welcome him home but he never pulls away from Jesse, savouring the taste of his mouth, the feeling of his old t-shirt, the gasping sound he makes occasionally.
“Ow! Fuck.” Andrew says as he eventually moves back, one of the cats biting at his leg for attention “Alright, hi, I’m happy to see you guys too” he mutters, bending down to brush his fingers along Peanut’s ginger fur, scratching behind Henry’s ear. (The cats were originally foster cats of course, hence the stupid names that Jesse despairs of and Andrew finds hilarious - who the fuck calls a cat Henry anyway?)
“Come on, bring them with you. I have Chinese food” Jesse says, turning to move back towards to living room as Andrew hastily kicks off his shoes and drops his bags before following.
Hours later they’re naked and sated and wrapped around each other on the bed, sheets bunched messily around them, skimming over the lines of Jesse’s legs, hooked over the knob of Andrew’s hip and it’s so warm and comfortable and right that Jesse kind of wants to cry.
“Are you going to actually tell me how you’re here then?” Jesse asks, voice scratchy from gasping Andrew’s name for the better part of an hour.
“Well you see Jess, there are these amazing thing’s called aeroplanes…” Jesse punches him and Andrew just laughs, quiet but carefree and happy.
“I did two night shoots last week to cram in the scenes and after a lot of begging they said they had enough for me to take today off… I could tell how bummed out you were about us being apart today and I just wanted to be back here so bad.”
“I love you” is all Jesse says back, because it’s true and because it tells Andrew everything he needs to know - that not sleeping for three days was absolutely worth it, that spending five hours on a plane next to a screaming baby was a minor price to pay to be here, Jesse’s sweaty curls under his chin, his long fingers tracing lines across his chest.
“Love you too Jess.”
March.
It’s ridiculous really that they’ve been together for a year and a half (known each other for another year on top of that) and Jesse is yet to actually meet Andrew’s parents. Which is why he’s now sat in the departures lounge of JFK waiting to board a flight that will take him to London, to Andrew and his parents and a never ending list of possible ways Jesse can fuck this meeting up. Andrew’s already been there for a week because it was his grandmother’s birthday on Saturday but Jesse had been busy with his last week of promotion for his latest film and so they couldn’t fly out together. So now here he is, alone and panicking without Andrew to talk him down with quiet words and gentle hands and a six hour flight ahead in which he can create all the worst case scenarios possible.
Meeting the parents isn’t something he’s done much, there was only really Anna and a girl in high school before Andrew and neither of those first meetings went particularly well - Jesse more quiet and awkward than usual, the fathers discussing how acting was a ‘risky business’ and the mothers cooing over his curls and good manners like he was a five year old. It was uncomfortable and weird and Jesse hadn’t been in a hurry to repeat the experience. Rationally he knows this is different, Andrew is an actor too, they’ve already been together for a substantial amount of time, and Jesse isn’t quite as shy and odd as he had been at twenty one. But this time he’s flying across the fucking world for the meetings and can’t just run home if it all goes to shit.
And then the flight attendant is calling them to board and Jesse is distracted for half an hour as he settles himself on the plane, thankful that he can afford business class these days and doesn’t have to be crammed in next to strangers.
Somehow before Jesse can really process it it’s six hours later and he’s stepping into the chilly English air, following the streams of people to baggage claim, searching for his bag that was a present from Andrew and is adorned with vintage style American flags and is actually pretty embarrassing. And then he’s walking into arrivals and just like he said he would be Andrew is stood there with a sign that says ‘Signor Eisenberg’ and Jesse can’t help but fondly roll his eyes.
“You’re an idiot” he says even as Andrew is pulling into a tight hug, kissing his neck slyly so that no one can see but Jesse can feel.
“I missed you too” Andrew says cheekily with a wink “come on, the car is outside.”
“You have a car over here?” Jesse asks surprised, because once he moved to the States properly he’d shipped his car over there so it is now sat beside the stupid Vespa in his garage spot.
“No it’s my dad’s. And it’s fucking weird driving on the opposite side of the road again so I should apologise now in case I kill us.”
Jesse scoffs “Well, that’s comforting.”
There are a few paps outside like there always is but they came out months ago so Jesse doesn’t panic like he used to, just grips his bag harder as Andrew slips a hand into his and pulls him towards the car park.
The drive to Andrew’s parents’ house takes almost two hours and Jesse spends almost all of it freaking out silently whilst Andrew looks on knowingly, reassuring him that it’s going to be fine, that they’ll love him and Jesse doesn’t believe a single word.
“I still don’t know why we couldn’t book a hotel and meet them tomorrow. I’ve not slept and I look like shit and…” Jesse trails, not happy with the thought that they’re fucking staying with Andrew’s parents, that he has nowhere to run.
Andrew pulls over then onto a quiet street with large lawns and comfortable middle class houses.
“Look at me Jess” Andrew says, reaching over to grasp his hands firmly “I love you for being so bothered about making a good first impression on my parents but you have to know that even if this all goes horribly, then it really doesn’t matter. I live with you. We have a life together. They know this and respect it, so even if they don’t like you - which is never going to happen - but even if it does, then I’m still coming home with you on that plane in three days. And I promise if after tonight you still feel uncomfortable staying here then I’ll tell them you want to sight see in London and we’ll go find a hotel okay?”
Jesse just nods because he thinks he’ll cry if he tries to speak.
There is a late lunch waiting for them inside the house, spread across the dining table that Andrew’s mother is fussing over whilst his father sits in the corner, reading a newspaper and telling her to calm down. Jesse and Andrew stand there unnoticed for a moment and Jesse can’t help but smile at the Garfield men, knowing now where Andrew gets that quietly comforting voice from.
“He’s right Mum, Jess has just spent the morning eating plane food, anything is better than that.” Andrew says and they snap their heads towards them in the doorway.
“Oh! You’re here!” Andrew’s mother says before blushing “come on in then. You must be Jesse. I’m Sally and this is David” and then she’s pulling Jesse into a hug before he can really do anything about it and all he can think is she’d get on well with my mom which makes him feel weird and warm inside.
“I, er. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Jesse…obviously.” And he awkwardly shakes Andrew’s dad’s hand before they all sit down, Andrew beside him, a reassuring hand on his thigh.
It goes surprisingly well, Andrew holding most of the conversation until Jesse feels comfortable enough to join in, telling them about the cats and his film that just came out (“Oh we saw it last week! It was wonderful!” Sally says and Jesse feels like he might set on fire he blushes so hard) and about his pretty uneventful flight over.
When they’ve finished eating and Jesse offers to help clean up Sally waves him away with a dismissive hand before Andrew cuts in.
“You should let him help Mum, I can assure you that he actually weirdly wants to do it and isn’t just being polite” and Jesse has never loved him more because otherwise he’ll just spend the night feeling guilty about the whole thing. Sally just smiles and ushers him into the kitchen which is large and sunny and homely, and Jesse almost panics about them doing this alone together before Sally is asking if he’s read any good books recently and just like that Jesse feels at ease again.
That evening when Andrew’s parents have gone to bed and they’re lay across each other on couch in old joggers and worn t-shirts Andrew asks if he’s doing okay. Jesse knows that he’s actually asking if Jesse is coping or if he wants to leave and he’s so glad to have this fucking wonderful man who understands him without ever pushing or making him feel ridiculous.
“I’m okay. You’re so like them Andrew…. It’s. It’s a bit weird, but mostly it just makes feel comfortable.”
“Good.” Andrew kisses him then and nothing more is said because he knows Jesse will tell him if he’s uncomfortable or it’s too much.
April.
It’s a week after Andrew sends the text about central park before they both have a full day off together and when they wake up that morning the weather is bright and warm. Andrew pulls on jeans and a shirt but no jacket and Jesse follows his example, grabbing them both a bottle of chilled water from the fridge and an apple to substitute breakfast before they leave the apartment, Andrew’s arm tight around Jesse’s shoulders as they head towards the subway. Living in the West Village it barely takes half an hour on the subway to get up to Central Park and its early enough when they arrive that the place is still fairly quiet.
They grab a coffee from Starbucks closest to the Columbus circle entrance and Andrew looks happy and excited enough that Jesse doesn’t even care that he’s been here a million times already because they’ve never been together before, at least not properly, just for the sake of it. And anything that makes Andrew look like that is a good thing in Jesse’s mind.
“You’re like a child” Jesse says, teasing, as he blows the steam away from his cardboard cup.
“Going to the park on the first warm day of spring actually reminds me of being a kid so…” Andrew says blushing a little and Jesse just smiles and takes his hand. Usually he tries to avoid being too obvious with his affection where other people can see, but today it’s unlikely that there will be any paparazzi to see them anyway and besides, with Andrew in this mood it’s impossible to not touch him.
They stroll around slowly, unhurried for once and it feels actually feels wonderful to be able to enjoy the sun, to enjoy Andrew’s company outside of their apartment, to buy bagels from one of the venders and cheekily take a bite out of each other’s. They stop by the reservoir on the east side by the Met and contemplate going in before Andrew decides they can go to the Met anytime, that he doesn’t want to waste the beautiful weather in a museum. Jesse is happy with whatever so he just nods and takes Andrew’s hand again, declaring that they should time themselves to see how long it takes to walk around the reservoir. Andrew calls him ridiculous but agrees anyway.
They hang around the park until the sun starts to set, sinking down behind the tall buildings that frame it and Andrew suggests they go out for dinner, his treat. They stay uptown to try something new instead of going the Thai place around the corner from their apartment like usual and end up in a small but overpriced Italian restaurant and share four different starters and a ridiculously large portion of pasta. Andrew pays and Jesse thanks him with kisses that taste like the wine they had with the meal, feeling a little drunk and tired but happy.
Back at the apartment Jesse applies aloe to Andrew’s sunburnt nose and his own pink cheeks and Andrew can’t stop smiling.
“D’you think in ten years we’ll be spending days like today with our kids?” Andrew asks and Jesse’s heart swells in his chest.
“I hope so.”
May.
Andrew’s been in England for two weeks so far, first for five intense days of promotion and then he decided to stay because it was his mum’s birthday the following Friday. Jesse doesn’t blame him, not after Andrew told him it had been over three years since he saw either of his parents on their birthday but he also wishes Andrew was at home or even that he was there. But he’s got a month of solid shooting in New York so he can’t go anywhere.
It’s only early evening when he crawls into bed that night after a hasty dinner of rice and vegetables because it was the easiest thing and filming has been brutal the past few days and he misses Andrew so much that he doesn’t even think about waking him up before sending the text. The reply he gets is almost instantaneous so he stops worrying about it being much later over there and decides to see if Andrew wants to have some fun. They do this a lot when they’re apart but it’s not often that Jesse instigates it, usually waiting for Andrew to text him something filthy and outrageous or to call him with that catch in his voice that Jesse knows means he’s alone and horny and missing him.
Jesse lies there, naked after hastily stripping away his boxers and slowly gets harder as they exchange more and more texts before finally thinking ‘fuck it’ when Andrew text back with fucking hell Jess! which isn’t enough for him in this state. So he clicks away from the messages and presses call instead, needing to hear Andrew’s voice, husky and turned on, accent stronger after a fortnight in England.
“Hey baby” Andrew says after one ring and Jesse swallows hard, knowing from those two words alone that Andrew is already touching himself.
“Hmmm, started without me have you?” Jesse asks, teasing, hoping he sounds remotely sexy.
“You drive me fucking crazy Jess, I can’t help myself. Fuck.”
“You should talk to me to make it up to me.” Jesse moans, wrapping his hand around himself finally, wishing it was Andrews ridiculously long fingers instead. Andrew groans on the other end of the line and swallows hard, the gulp audible over the line and Jesse can picture him so clearly, spread out across his white bed sheets, legs wide and bent as he bites his lip and lazily pumps himself, torn between wanting to come and wanting to make this last.
“What do you want to know baby?” Andrew asks and Jesse can hear the smirk in his voice.
“I want to know what you’re planning on doing when you’re back in our bed with me.” Jesse’s voice is sure, desperate to imagine them here, together, naked and hard and shameless in a way that Jesse never imagined he could be.
“Fucking hell Jess, I’m counting the seconds until I’m back there. I can’t fucking wait to strip you down and spread you out and just touch you. Tease you until you’re begging for more than lazy caresses and gentle kisses even though I know you secretly love it when I do that to you.”
“It’s not… not a secret” Jesse is gasping already, even though they’ve barely began but he can’t help himself. Andrew hums on the other end of the line and Jesse apologises for interrupting him, urges him to carry on.
“Then I’d ask you what you want me to do, ask if you want my mouth around you, sucking you until you can’t think of anything other than my name or if you want me inside you, slow and deep like I know you like it… or if you want to be inside me, hard and fast like you know I fucking love it. What would you tell me Jess?”
“I…fuck. I want you inside me Andrew.” Jesse contemplates finding one of their toys then, playing along with the fantasy but he’s already too far gone to bother with preparation and he just wants to come, so he stays as he is, hand clasped tightly around himself as the other grips the phone tight between sweaty fingers.
“Hmmm. I bet you do. I keep dreaming about it Jess, about bending you over the end of the bed and fucking you until you’re screaming, hard enough that you’ll feel it all fucking week and know only I can do that to you.”
“Jesus Christ.” The words come from behind gritted teeth as Jesse speeds up his hand, almost but not quite there. “I’m so close Andrew, fuck.”
“Me too baby. Imagine that’s my hand around you… that’s what I’m doing, pretending this is you, the way you flick your thumb across the head makes me fucking crazy… ugh.”
Jesse comes then, mouth opening in a silent scream that ends with Andrew’s name who is gasping on the other end of the line, mumbling the word ‘fuck’ over and over so that Jesse knows he’s there too.
They clean up slowly, exchanging tired words and long silences that almost make Jesse feel like Andrew is in the room until the other man falls asleep and Jesse says a quiet “I love you” before hanging up.
June.
It’s not that Jesse doesn’t like vacations per se, it’s more about the fact that he spends so much time away from home as it is that when he has time off he’d much rather sleep in his own bed instead of another hotel with not enough pillows and too many layers of sheets. But he also trusts Andrew to know him well enough not to take him somewhere that Jesse will hate, somewhere posh or loud or touristy. He lives in New York so he has enough of the latter two on a daily basis. When he asks what he should pack for this surprise vacation Andrew just shrugs.
“Whatever you want Jess, it’s a vacation!”
“That really doesn’t help Andrew… is it going to be hot? Or freezing for that matter… Will I need insect repellent or sun lotion? What about a bathing suit?” The questions tumble out one after the other as Andrew stands there and rolls his eyes.
“It’ll be as hot as it is here, it’s not too far actually but I’m not planning on going to the beach or anything so just, imagine you’re going on a city break or something. If we forget anything we can always just buy it once we get there.” Andrew smiles lightly, kisses Jesse temple and leaves the bedroom to attend to the cats in the kitchen.
“Useless” Jesse mutters before pulling out a few t-shirts and a couple of pairs of jeans. He figures Andrew is right - anything that he urgently needs he can always buy when they get to wherever it is that they’re going.
“DON’T FORGET YOUR GLASSES AND CONTACT SOLUTION!” Andrew shouts through then and Jesse can’t help but smile, remembering the one time he forgot both and freaked out to Andrew for an hour before the other man took him to the drug store and bought some more solution, reminding Jesse not fall asleep with his contacts in or he’d be screwed.
“You ready to go?” Andrew asks an hour later - he packed his own bag last night whilst Jesse was still at work and hid it in the car before Jesse could sneakily peak at anything that might clue him into where they were heading.
“Yep.” Jesse says slinging the same vintage American flag patterned bag that he took to London over his shoulder before leaning down to pet the cats a final time.
“How long does it take to get there?” Jesse asks in the car, it’s still only early morning but Andrew had waited to miss the rush hour traffic.
“About four hours maybe. But I’m sure you’ll be able to guess where it is once we get close enough, it’ll be pretty obvious when you see certain road signs.”
Andrew isn’t wrong and they’ve still got over an hour’s worth of driving to go if Andrew’s estimation is right but Jesse is positive he knows where they’re going. He doesn’t say anything though and it’s not just because the lump in his throat is making it difficult to speak but rather because Andrew wanted this to be a surprise and he wants to play along.
And then they’re pulling into the driveway of the old condo they rented in Massachusetts and Andrew’s smile is brighter than the fucking sun as he turns to Jesse.
“Did you guess?” he asks as he unbuckles their seatbelts and leans across the car to run a hand into Jesse’s curls.
“About an hour ago” Jesse admits with a laugh “but… how? Doesn’t someone live here now or something?”
“Yeah… but they quickly came around the idea when I offered to not only rent the condo off them for the weekend, but also to send them away on their own vacation so…” Andrew shrugs and looks a little sheepish.
“I just wanted to come back to where it all started… spend some time just us for a change. No work. No families… just me and you.”
And so even though Jesse really doesn’t like surprises and isn’t wild about vacations either he can’t help but melt at the sentiment, at the thought of being back here where they first got to know each other, way before they even got together, back when it was all pining and get a grip of yourself Jesse he has a girlfriend!
The weekend is quiet, low key and exactly what Jesse needs. They lose themselves in each other, in clean sheets and Andrew’s old bed and joint showers before spending the days at the park down the road or trying out all the little diners across town - some familiar, some that they’ve never been to before. Jesse reads two books without being interrupted and starts work on a screenplay that he’s been mulling over for months now and Andrew mostly watches him from behind his laptop, looking fond and happy and like he loves Jesse so much that it hurts.
They take turns each night cooking, setting the table in the middle of the kitchen that they used to each breakfast together at each day and it’s not extravagant or even particularly romantic but still it’s fucking perfect.
On Monday morning Jesse wakes up and thinks ‘I don’t actually want to go back to New York yet’ and usually he is desperate to get home to his flat and the cats and familiarity and he thinks of how well Andrew knows him to take them to the one place where Jesse won’t feel homesick.
“We should do this every year” Jesse says to Andrew who is still mostly asleep but he smiles back anyway.
“Okay.” Is all Andrew says and it’s all he needs to because it tells Jesse that he plans for them to be spending many lazy June weekends together in the future, somehow the thought of coming back makes him a little less upset at leaving.
July.
After their weekend in Massachusetts’s Andrew had two days in New York before getting on a plane to L.A to start shooting a new movie. It’s now edging closer and closer to the end of July and Jesse is finding it harder and harder to pretend he’s coping with being apart for so long. They speak most nights, Jesse normally falling asleep to the sound of Andrew’s voice but it’s still not enough and he understands what it’s like to be filming for twelve hours a day and only have half an hour to spare before collapsing into an exhausted heap but that doesn’t mean he has to like it.
Tonight is the third night in a row when Andrew’s filming schedule has ran over time and he’s not bothered to even text Jesse to let him know they won’t be able to talk at their usual time. And it shouldn’t be a big deal, it really shouldn’t but it’s the middle of the night in New York and Jesse is pissed and lonely and tired of having only the cats and his right hand for company.
He doesn’t mean to lose it, doesn’t mean to sound petty and petulant by telling Andrew he doesn’t want to talk but then the other man throws the fact that Jesse isn’t working right now into the mix and it’s such a cheap shot. Andrew knows that he gets irritable and insecure and even fucking more neurotic than usual when he isn’t filming or promoting and the fact that he uses it against Jesse feels a little bit like a kick in the stomach.
And then Andrew is telling him to grow up and Jesse can barely see through his anger and upset to text back ’fuck you Andrew.’ He turns off his phone and rolls over restlessly, it’s 2am, he should be asleep, but all he can do is lie there and alternate between panicking and seething because this isn’t them, they don’t argue over petty things - fuck, they don’t argue over work. When they first got together Jesse quickly realised that this relationship would be easier because Andrew was an actor too, because he could understand insane work hours and late nights and time apart. Only now that all feels like a lie because here they are, arguing, through fucking texts no less, over all of the things that the other is supposed to inherently understand.
It takes a long time for Jesse to fall asleep that night and when he wakes up the next morning his head is pounding from the stressful, restless sleep and he feels sick with guilt. He should’ve understood, he should have answered the phone when Andrew tried to call, he should’ve just said they’d talk about it tomorrow. He quickly turns on his phone and there a four missed calls from Andrew and a text that simply says ’pick up Jess’ which is only from an hour ago and Jesse is pretty sure Andrew has to be on set in about three hours.
Jesse is pressing call before he even consciously realises and then there is Andrew’s voice on the other end, sounding tired and wrecked but also relieved and it just makes Jesse feel like shit.
“Jess, hey baby… I’m so sorry. I’m such a shit but I’m just fucking exhausted and I miss you too and…” Andrew starts but Jesse shushes him gently.
“Staying up all night trying to call me isn’t going to help with the exhaustion Andrew… you need to sleep. You have work today.” Jesse’s voice is firm, but loving and he doesn’t have to tell Andrew that he isn’t angry anymore because it’s there for anyone to hear.
“I couldn’t sleep with things on a bad note between us Jess, we… we don’t do that.” And Jesse doesn’t need to hear anymore because he knows that Andrew feels the same, that ridiculous arguing isn’t how this relationship works. They’re not perfect people and they don’t have the perfect relationship but they’ve always respected each other and last night that didn’t happen. Jesse knows it won’t happen again in a hurry.
“I know we don’t. But it’s okay now right? We need to talk properly but you need to sleep and go to work first, I’ll be waiting by the phone tonight, whenever you’re ready okay?”
“Jesse, I love you and this isn’t for much longer I promise… I’ll be home next week and -“
“I know Andrew. It’s fine. And I love you too okay? Just. Sleep now, we’ll talk later.”
Andrew reluctantly agrees and Jesse stays on the line until he can hear his breaths become deep and even, he’ll call back in a few hours to make sure Andrew isn’t late for work and tonight they’ll talk it out. Jesse lays back against the cushions and sighs, no, their relationship definitely isn’t perfect but it’s real and it’s theirs and deep down he knows he wouldn’t change it for the world.
continued here.