Not hiding anymore...
I'm not going to hide this journal anymore. Nor am I going to make a point of hiding people's identities (unless I feel a reason not to). I'm done with trying to please people and being politically correct - especially when these same people I'my trying to impress are the same people who are two-faced and probably have the same feeling I do now.
I'm a "cruel" person I've been told. Well, not actually told to my face, I was told through Kathy who had a conversation with one of our neighbors who made this statement. Yep, I'm cruel.
I opened my home to homeless animals until they could find their forever homes.
i will swerve in the road or slam on my brakes to avoid hitting living creatures in the road.
I opened my home to foster children so I could help protect a child while their parents straightened up.
I allowed a sex offender to move into my house, which meant I had to give up my foster care license - and was okay with that because this person needed a place to stay.
I let a woman who I had no reason to speak to, let alone like, move into my home because she was in the process of coming out.
I have donated many of my personal things to charity simply to help needy children.
Yep... that all sounds pretty cruel to me.
Yet....
someone who does daycare said to my face she hated our foster daughter and did not want to be around her.
someone who does daycare was cold, rude and downright mean to our foster daughter.
someone who claims to not lie was caught in MANY lies and then lied when trying to deny she got caught.
someone had no problem telling a one-sided story to our neighbor who decided it was the gospel truth.
and that same person, by telling this information, ruined an 6 year friendship overnight.
someone had no problem backstabbing me time and again in hopes of getting on the inside track with my girlfriend.
someone had no problem trying to hone in on all our friends.
someone had no problem lying to my face repeatedly for over a year even though I allowed her to move in.
someone lied even after they moved out that they still wanted to be friends.
Hmmmm. These things don't sound cruel at all.
Well you know what...
How hypocritical can you two be!?!??!!! You claim I am a cruel person but you are basing your decision on a one-sided story. You didn't even give Kathy a chance to explain... but she shouldn't have to. The fact is... you were never really friends in any real sense if you were so willing to believe the information you heard and not even get our sides of the story. Problem is, you will never get our side of the story - because Tracy should have kept what happened between us private. There were many things that went on in this house that were nobody else's business. But when it got to a point where Tracy was beginning to feel like she was in a "relationship" with us to the extent that any decisions we made about the house or things we did socially - she simply would not understand that she was only a friend who was living here as a stepping stone to finding her own place and becoming independent.
To do and say the things Tracy has - it is no wonder that Kathy and I no longer want to be involved with this person. She is untrustworthy in every sense of the word. We don't tell you anything because it's not your right to share any of that information with anyone else. We don't hang out with you because we don't want to be pumped for information and we both know you have ulterior motives. You don't understand what a true friend is and you certainly don't know what honestly is. You've spent the last 20+ years living a lie and telling lies to hide your true self. Lying comes natural to you. We get it - but we don't like it. And we don't want to be around it.
We will be gone from this state in a couple months - oh god, one can hope!. You can think of me as cruel until then or for as long as you like. But when you really sit down and think about it - I'm no more crueler than you two are. The only reason I'm to the point where I am now is because I'm done putting up with your bullshit and lies. The only reason I have nothing good to say about you anymore is because I've come to realize the type of people you two really are. And maybe in that sense, it's good that you two were able to bond so quickly and became fast friends - birds of a feather flock together. Having an image to uphold means nothing if you have to act fake the rest of your life. It's good to know you have the energy to keep that up.
Meanwhile, I'll be living my life - in sunny Florida, working with foster children, doing some volunteer work with Big Brothers/Big Sisters. You know - just being my cruel self.