"I'm no good at statues and stories, I try..."
My movement teacher, Joni has this theory that her class is like a fight. Because our careers are going to be a fight, and our lives are going to be a fight. So this class is about fighting to focus, fighting to rid ourselves of the bad habits we've developed as actors, and fighting through physical pain. And sometimes the pain wins, and we "die." Joni says that we "die" all the time, and it's okay, so long as we never actually give up.
So on Monday we started this exercise called "Statues." It's about focusing and forcing all of the tension in your body to your core, to relieve your face and upper body. You stand on your toes for an extended period of time, and you create statues with your body in a high, medium and low, position. And recite this monologue from Macbeth we had to memorize. And it's... so much harder than even reasonable. The body isn't used to something like that. It burns like a mo and your whole body shakes. On Monday we did 3 rounds of it and in the 3rd one I died. Fucking ow. I actually think I might've pulled something that day, cuz the next day I had butt/thigh cramps from hell and it was very painful to sit. And today I just couldn't make it through the exercise. I just started crying and fell down in the middle of doing the monologue and crawled to the wall. Watching other people do it was like watching a group of people being tortured. You could tell people were fighting so so hard because they were crying and shaking, and you knew that someone might topple over at any moment. I'm gonna rest today, but I'm really motivated to focus and push through it now. I want to be strong enough to be able to conquer my pain.
Acting class isn't as scary as I thought. We're doing effective memory, where you revisit really strong emotional experiences you've had in the past, which helps you get in touch with your emotions and whatnot when you're acting. It makes me uncomfortable, but I'm doing my best. I had a very efficient go at it today in David's class, but I'm still unable to remove myself from my present surroundings when I'm going through it. I don't want to just squeeze a few tears out and be like "done!" because a lot of people can do that. I'm sure I'm not the only one experiencing that problem though.
I like the people here a lot. There's a lot of exciting friendships to be had. We're all kind of going through this together. There's a really great support system.
Food! More later.
So on Monday we started this exercise called "Statues." It's about focusing and forcing all of the tension in your body to your core, to relieve your face and upper body. You stand on your toes for an extended period of time, and you create statues with your body in a high, medium and low, position. And recite this monologue from Macbeth we had to memorize. And it's... so much harder than even reasonable. The body isn't used to something like that. It burns like a mo and your whole body shakes. On Monday we did 3 rounds of it and in the 3rd one I died. Fucking ow. I actually think I might've pulled something that day, cuz the next day I had butt/thigh cramps from hell and it was very painful to sit. And today I just couldn't make it through the exercise. I just started crying and fell down in the middle of doing the monologue and crawled to the wall. Watching other people do it was like watching a group of people being tortured. You could tell people were fighting so so hard because they were crying and shaking, and you knew that someone might topple over at any moment. I'm gonna rest today, but I'm really motivated to focus and push through it now. I want to be strong enough to be able to conquer my pain.
Acting class isn't as scary as I thought. We're doing effective memory, where you revisit really strong emotional experiences you've had in the past, which helps you get in touch with your emotions and whatnot when you're acting. It makes me uncomfortable, but I'm doing my best. I had a very efficient go at it today in David's class, but I'm still unable to remove myself from my present surroundings when I'm going through it. I don't want to just squeeze a few tears out and be like "done!" because a lot of people can do that. I'm sure I'm not the only one experiencing that problem though.
I like the people here a lot. There's a lot of exciting friendships to be had. We're all kind of going through this together. There's a really great support system.
Food! More later.