"Because what you *think* it is isn't it." -G. Bartlett
I hide my heart behind my mind, masking truth with alternatives of the same.
And I don't realise how much I wanted it until all that was left was what was safe.
Some days, I tell myself I don't resent him.
Some days, I almost believe it.
Saying what he wants to hear. What I know he really wants, deep inside his heart. Talk to him about what he knows best, father and daughter connecting in the only way we've ever known how - mind to mind. Because I will always be his precious little girl, and all he will ever see is a big, dangerous world and me braving it naively, irresponsibly. Idealism tempered into principles, belief molded into conviction.
Life and choice and want and security meet headlong in a crash-collision of epiphany(ies) and soul-searching and finding what I didn't actually really want to at all. Mind sits dazed behind the steering wheel, broadsided (again?) by speeding heart driving with no licence.
I see him behind my mirror's eyes.
And I don't realise how much I wanted it until all that was left was what was safe.
Some days, I tell myself I don't resent him.
Some days, I almost believe it.
Saying what he wants to hear. What I know he really wants, deep inside his heart. Talk to him about what he knows best, father and daughter connecting in the only way we've ever known how - mind to mind. Because I will always be his precious little girl, and all he will ever see is a big, dangerous world and me braving it naively, irresponsibly. Idealism tempered into principles, belief molded into conviction.
Life and choice and want and security meet headlong in a crash-collision of epiphany(ies) and soul-searching and finding what I didn't actually really want to at all. Mind sits dazed behind the steering wheel, broadsided (again?) by speeding heart driving with no licence.
I see him behind my mirror's eyes.