Suck It Up, Princess
Meet Murphy. Murphy's not such a bad guy, just a bit unlucky with a harmless mean streak. Murphy, however, gets a pretty bad rap from a lot of people. Just because he's an incarnation of bad luck doesn't mean he's responsible for your present predicament. Sometimes that's Solomon (he's the physics guy) or Cupid or just plain your own fault. Just think of what the poor guy has to deal with all the time! "Daggonedubbitnabbit! Again?"
"****!"
"Oh God(s), they got Tim!"
"OUCH!"
"****ing ****!"
All of this and more is constantly being yelped at Murphy, but it's usually not his doing. It's YOUR fault you dropped the toast, Murphy just makes it land buttered and jammed side down. It's YOUR fault that you tripped up while trying to show off, Murphy just makes sure that the cute guy you've had your eye on was watching. Murphy does the little things, but all that he gets for it is grief.
And it's not like he's immune to his own laws, either! Way back when he was just a regular guy, his hand-eye coordination could be compared disfavourably to a snake's. His glasses had lens as thick as his finger, and his feet grew to different sizes - size 13 on the right side, size 11 on the left. Keep in mind he was all of a glorious five foot four, and he could barely break 80 pounds with his winter jacket on. It's a miracle he survived Middle School, let alone High.
Nowadays, he's a rather bitter Incarnation. Wouldn't you be? The field of bad luck around him is so strong that the last time he tried to take a walk, George W. Bush got elected. Twice. The second time was because four years later, Murphy was still falling down the stairs. He'd really like to install an elevator, but that'd be an even worse head-ache. Because he can't even get up without risking serious injury, he's somewhat stapled to his throne. But it gets worse - that six year tumble knocked the number of the Celestial Cleaning Agency right out of his head. Of course he's athsmatic; he's got it pretty bad.
This is just a glance at Murphy's life. Next time you get caught because your hand got stuck in the cookie jar, or you're two minutes late to stop the $75 parking ticket, or your internet goes out, stop being such a crybaby. People've got it way worse than you. Heck, GODS have got it way worse than you. A little inconvenience in a life of convenience shouldn't garner much sympathy.