(no subject)
I've been kinda depressed lately. I mean, not geting called back on a single one of 25 applications is depressing. The fact that I don't even have enough money to make a down payment on a free lunch is depressing. My expanding waist line. (up to 180-185) losing my hair. I'm falling apart. And my dad and brothers don't help at all. They seem hell bent to make me think about it all every time they talk to me. My dad was just staring at me laughing the other day. "What?" "I just can't believe how much hair you're losing. And it's funny watching you get a big butt.) As if I don't hate looking at myself in the mirror enough as it is. And now Sam's mom doesn't want her to hang out w/me cuz I can't pay to do things. I don't even care to do things that cost money. But her parents won't let us be alone without a million people in the area. What can we do that's free? And she seems to feel the need to be entertained. I'm fine with just sitting and doing nothing. I just like being around her. But it looks like they're doing everything short of forbidding her to make sure we can't. So there goes the one thing I get enjoyment from. Fuck it all.