Of Dreams, Love, and What Keeps Me Going Part 1
Gomen nasai!
I was absent for almost 3 months due to various stuff like school,laziness, and procrastination. But I promise, I'm not abandoning this journal. :P
Of Dreams
My passion for BL is still going strong but I refrained myself from buying manga since June to save money for THE DREAM TRIP IN JAPAN!!! Oh, it will be on May next year and I need a visa first so even though I'm suuuper excited, I can't really get my hopes too high - maybe after landing in Japan will make me say that I finally did it! My ever rich aunt will finance the whole trip so it will be quite short (around 4-5 days) nevertheless I'm still happy to be able to look forward on this trip next year.
Even though I'm "saving " money, I did order 2 FrUK doujinshis from Yahoo Auction thru a proxy. I never thought that I will really be able to get my hands on those two. Hahaha. I initially planned to look for it in Japan but I realized that it would be kind of stressful since I will be going with my family and I could have been disappointed if ever I didn't find it. So at least, after receiving the order in a month's time, I can focus on other things to do in Japan. I'll update you guys about the doujinshis in future posts.
First semester of school has ended and I'm actually on a break right now. A lot of things happened. I met new people and made new friends. I really hope that my academic life will continue to be smooth sailing in the future. I feel like having my second spring during this semester. I became more involved and even though they tease me for being an achiever especially in exams, I never felt alienated or insecure.
Of Love
And with new friends,came new loves. Yes, it's in plural form. Haha. It's more of a crush actually rather than love. I think it's because this is my first time to receive male attention from my age group. Hahaha. Oh yes, laugh all you want, but I just felt overwhelmed and can't help but fall for the charms of those three guys. I feel like being a teenager again. But as I started to know their personalities, the more I understood that "Yes, I'm just overwhelmed". I still admire them but not to the extent I had before. I learned their flaws but also more of their hidden charms too.
In a twist of fate, one of my new friends happened to be gay and oh boy, he confessed his love to one of our friends. And that guy responded in an ambiguous manner,hahaha. I even asked him bluntly about his sexuality because as a fujoshi, I'M REALLY CURIOUS. And do you know what he answered? He said something in the likes of "if you yearn for love, the gender of the person is not important". O.O Is this a real BL in the making?! I hope so. Even if I promised my gay friend not to be nosy, I just can't help my fujoshi feels,haha.
Aside from these, another courtship within my circle of friends made me realized that almost everyone I know is in a relationship or dealing with love issues. I find myself in the middle of nowhere. I wanted to experience those stuff,too. It made me feel empty that in my 21 years of life, no one asked me or even confessed to me. I know that love is a two-way process and that I should also make my move but I tend to not take everything in that area seriously or even have the courage to confess. All my longing will later on divert into dreams of traveling and passion of seeing the world.
to be continued...
I was absent for almost 3 months due to various stuff like school,laziness, and procrastination. But I promise, I'm not abandoning this journal. :P
Of Dreams
My passion for BL is still going strong but I refrained myself from buying manga since June to save money for THE DREAM TRIP IN JAPAN!!! Oh, it will be on May next year and I need a visa first so even though I'm suuuper excited, I can't really get my hopes too high - maybe after landing in Japan will make me say that I finally did it! My ever rich aunt will finance the whole trip so it will be quite short (around 4-5 days) nevertheless I'm still happy to be able to look forward on this trip next year.
Even though I'm "saving " money, I did order 2 FrUK doujinshis from Yahoo Auction thru a proxy. I never thought that I will really be able to get my hands on those two. Hahaha. I initially planned to look for it in Japan but I realized that it would be kind of stressful since I will be going with my family and I could have been disappointed if ever I didn't find it. So at least, after receiving the order in a month's time, I can focus on other things to do in Japan. I'll update you guys about the doujinshis in future posts.
First semester of school has ended and I'm actually on a break right now. A lot of things happened. I met new people and made new friends. I really hope that my academic life will continue to be smooth sailing in the future. I feel like having my second spring during this semester. I became more involved and even though they tease me for being an achiever especially in exams, I never felt alienated or insecure.
Of Love
And with new friends,came new loves. Yes, it's in plural form. Haha. It's more of a crush actually rather than love. I think it's because this is my first time to receive male attention from my age group. Hahaha. Oh yes, laugh all you want, but I just felt overwhelmed and can't help but fall for the charms of those three guys. I feel like being a teenager again. But as I started to know their personalities, the more I understood that "Yes, I'm just overwhelmed". I still admire them but not to the extent I had before. I learned their flaws but also more of their hidden charms too.
In a twist of fate, one of my new friends happened to be gay and oh boy, he confessed his love to one of our friends. And that guy responded in an ambiguous manner,hahaha. I even asked him bluntly about his sexuality because as a fujoshi, I'M REALLY CURIOUS. And do you know what he answered? He said something in the likes of "if you yearn for love, the gender of the person is not important". O.O Is this a real BL in the making?! I hope so. Even if I promised my gay friend not to be nosy, I just can't help my fujoshi feels,haha.
Aside from these, another courtship within my circle of friends made me realized that almost everyone I know is in a relationship or dealing with love issues. I find myself in the middle of nowhere. I wanted to experience those stuff,too. It made me feel empty that in my 21 years of life, no one asked me or even confessed to me. I know that love is a two-way process and that I should also make my move but I tend to not take everything in that area seriously or even have the courage to confess. All my longing will later on divert into dreams of traveling and passion of seeing the world.
to be continued...