STFU, short
Remember, no matter how bad your day is going it could be worse. You could be a character in one of my stories. Set in Tsaiko Hall on Seymour T. Frances University (STFU).
There were many things that bothered Matt about the University he'd chosen to attend. There were even more things that bothered him in his dorm. However, he'd just stumbled across something that made him so uneasy he'd use brain bleach to get rid of it if he could.
Hanging on the wall just outside the communal bathroom was a hand-made sign. The letters were three inches tall and done in near, crisp handwriting with a red marker. "No sex or making out in the bathrooms." The word "or" was capitalized and underlined twice. Like someone had tried to argue and the "making out" part had had to be added.
It boggled Matt's mind. What kind of guy would convince his girlfriend to come up to an all boy's floor just to make out in the bathroom? Surely there were better places, like a room, to do that sort of thing?
One of life's greatest mysteries. Matt didn't want to think about what kind of kink you'd have to have to get off on that sort of thing.
The door was painted purple (school pride in the most asinine of places). Inside the bathroom was institutional white tile: cold and sterile and impersonal. Sound echoed and Matt could hear the sound of a shower running. He hoped there were white shower curtains to go with the white sinks, white urinals, and white ceilings. Showering in a communal bathroom out in the open was not his idea of fun.
Matt was still pondering the possible lack of shower curtains -- Would anyone care if he brought one in? What if it wasn't white? -- when he came around the corner. There was a line of six shower stalls. Half of them had shower curtains. Half of them didn't. That was a relief.
Suddenly, it dawned on Matt that the first shower stall without a curtain was occupied.
He froze.
Then he dropped all his stuff.
There were two guys in the shower. There were two guys in one shower stall and they were naked. There were two guys in one shower stall and they were attempting to give each other a tonsillectomy with their tongues and oh god, there was too much skin and they were pressed way to close to be "just friends." And they were naked. NAKED!
Oh my god. Matt dropped to his knees, desperately trying to gather his stuff up. Oh my god! Someone was laughing and Matt's head came up to see whom it was before he could think. Too much skin. Don't look up! He was blushing so hard it hurt.
After what seemed like an eternity, Matty managed to get all his stuff in his arms. He stood up and stared determinedly at the tile floor.
"You know, you are welcome to join us."
Matt almost dropped everything again.
This time the laughter was loud enough to ring off the tile. The only reason Matt didn't just melt into the floor from embarrassment was that there was no malicious intent in it. Just genuine amusement and happiness. Matt had a feeling he could actually like the guy who was laughing if the situation weren't so... um. Instead he mumbled an apology and bolted. He'd shower later.
Three steps down the hall he ran into the resident director. Literally.
"Hey... Matt was it? Is everything okay?
Words came out of this mouth, quick and garbled. He didn't even know what he was saying. Tessa just stood there and Matt could not stop babbling.
Something he said must have made sense because Tessa's eyes went wide and she sucked in a breath. Matt's words stuttered to a halt. "Bunnies!" she shrieked. "They're like damn bunnies!"
Tessa bolted down the hall, running in the opposite direction of the bathroom. Matt watched her go. He stood in the hallway for a full minute, staring stupidly in the direction the RD had gone. Then he turned and headed back to his room.
The door was open. His roommate's music bled into the hall: country rock that made Matt want to grind his teeth and throw something. Kevin was reading, sprawled comfortably across his bed, when Matt walked in.
"Hey," Kevin said. Then he looked up and actually noticed the expression on Matt's face. "Are you okay? Weren't you going to go take a shower?"
Before Matt could even open his mouth to a respond, a voice echoed down the hall. He jumped. His roommate jumped. It was obvious that Tessa had found a bullhorn.
"Stewart Elton McKinley! You and whatever slut you're calling a boyfriend this week have exactly five second to get out of the bathroom before I report you for traumatizing a freshman. Do you hear me El? If I report you then you'll be kicked out of my dorm and someone else will have to deal with your horny ass."
"Oh," Kevin said, turning back to his book. Matt could hear that laughter again, bright and clear, and Tessa shrieking about how El could at least put a town on. "That explains it. You've met El."
There were many things that bothered Matt about the University he'd chosen to attend. There were even more things that bothered him in his dorm. However, he'd just stumbled across something that made him so uneasy he'd use brain bleach to get rid of it if he could.
Hanging on the wall just outside the communal bathroom was a hand-made sign. The letters were three inches tall and done in near, crisp handwriting with a red marker. "No sex or making out in the bathrooms." The word "or" was capitalized and underlined twice. Like someone had tried to argue and the "making out" part had had to be added.
It boggled Matt's mind. What kind of guy would convince his girlfriend to come up to an all boy's floor just to make out in the bathroom? Surely there were better places, like a room, to do that sort of thing?
One of life's greatest mysteries. Matt didn't want to think about what kind of kink you'd have to have to get off on that sort of thing.
The door was painted purple (school pride in the most asinine of places). Inside the bathroom was institutional white tile: cold and sterile and impersonal. Sound echoed and Matt could hear the sound of a shower running. He hoped there were white shower curtains to go with the white sinks, white urinals, and white ceilings. Showering in a communal bathroom out in the open was not his idea of fun.
Matt was still pondering the possible lack of shower curtains -- Would anyone care if he brought one in? What if it wasn't white? -- when he came around the corner. There was a line of six shower stalls. Half of them had shower curtains. Half of them didn't. That was a relief.
Suddenly, it dawned on Matt that the first shower stall without a curtain was occupied.
He froze.
Then he dropped all his stuff.
There were two guys in the shower. There were two guys in one shower stall and they were naked. There were two guys in one shower stall and they were attempting to give each other a tonsillectomy with their tongues and oh god, there was too much skin and they were pressed way to close to be "just friends." And they were naked. NAKED!
Oh my god. Matt dropped to his knees, desperately trying to gather his stuff up. Oh my god! Someone was laughing and Matt's head came up to see whom it was before he could think. Too much skin. Don't look up! He was blushing so hard it hurt.
After what seemed like an eternity, Matty managed to get all his stuff in his arms. He stood up and stared determinedly at the tile floor.
"You know, you are welcome to join us."
Matt almost dropped everything again.
This time the laughter was loud enough to ring off the tile. The only reason Matt didn't just melt into the floor from embarrassment was that there was no malicious intent in it. Just genuine amusement and happiness. Matt had a feeling he could actually like the guy who was laughing if the situation weren't so... um. Instead he mumbled an apology and bolted. He'd shower later.
Three steps down the hall he ran into the resident director. Literally.
"Hey... Matt was it? Is everything okay?
Words came out of this mouth, quick and garbled. He didn't even know what he was saying. Tessa just stood there and Matt could not stop babbling.
Something he said must have made sense because Tessa's eyes went wide and she sucked in a breath. Matt's words stuttered to a halt. "Bunnies!" she shrieked. "They're like damn bunnies!"
Tessa bolted down the hall, running in the opposite direction of the bathroom. Matt watched her go. He stood in the hallway for a full minute, staring stupidly in the direction the RD had gone. Then he turned and headed back to his room.
The door was open. His roommate's music bled into the hall: country rock that made Matt want to grind his teeth and throw something. Kevin was reading, sprawled comfortably across his bed, when Matt walked in.
"Hey," Kevin said. Then he looked up and actually noticed the expression on Matt's face. "Are you okay? Weren't you going to go take a shower?"
Before Matt could even open his mouth to a respond, a voice echoed down the hall. He jumped. His roommate jumped. It was obvious that Tessa had found a bullhorn.
"Stewart Elton McKinley! You and whatever slut you're calling a boyfriend this week have exactly five second to get out of the bathroom before I report you for traumatizing a freshman. Do you hear me El? If I report you then you'll be kicked out of my dorm and someone else will have to deal with your horny ass."
"Oh," Kevin said, turning back to his book. Matt could hear that laughter again, bright and clear, and Tessa shrieking about how El could at least put a town on. "That explains it. You've met El."