missing you
i know you wont read this, you never do. but GOD am i missing you. it kills me that you have moved on, and that you are happy, and i am stuck here in this...shit hole. at the same time, im happy for you. i have incredible friends, i keep my self very occupied, always have plans, something to do, always have people supporting me, and yet i still have so much time in the day to think about you. i miss you every day. but today, i am missing/craving you as a friend.
i know its impossible for us to be friends right now. as much as i want it, i know it cant and wont happen. but all i can think about is when will i hear your voice again...when will i see your smile again. when will i fucking MOVE ON. GET THE FUCK OVER YOU! your not right for me obviously...why am i so stuck. everyday i feel like i am coming out of the mud a bit more, but my boots are still about 20 ft under.
when will i meet that guy who fills the void you have left in my heart? when will i meet a guy that actually matches me in what i am looking for in life? i know that i cant look for him, because if i do, he wont come. but its not fair. but hey, life's not fair right.
i dont know what to do with myself. i wake up every morning with this ace. its a struggle to get up and get out of bed because of how heavy my heart is. i know everyone has to go through heartbreak..its a important lesson in life, but why did it have to be with you? maybe because you were the most important person to me...i think its the people who are closest to you that have to rip your heart out for you to ever learn. and im learning. but i dont want to.
i know SOMETHING positive will come out of this. i may meet a guy, fall in love, and our love will soar high above what we had together...but i cant see that now. and i long for that. not for the guy, but for the eyes and heart to see past this shit, and see what the world has for me. right now..i am feeling very decived...right now, i hate love, because its no longer apart of my life. i know that will change one day...one day
i still love you...and i am glad to hear that you are happy.
i know its impossible for us to be friends right now. as much as i want it, i know it cant and wont happen. but all i can think about is when will i hear your voice again...when will i see your smile again. when will i fucking MOVE ON. GET THE FUCK OVER YOU! your not right for me obviously...why am i so stuck. everyday i feel like i am coming out of the mud a bit more, but my boots are still about 20 ft under.
when will i meet that guy who fills the void you have left in my heart? when will i meet a guy that actually matches me in what i am looking for in life? i know that i cant look for him, because if i do, he wont come. but its not fair. but hey, life's not fair right.
i dont know what to do with myself. i wake up every morning with this ace. its a struggle to get up and get out of bed because of how heavy my heart is. i know everyone has to go through heartbreak..its a important lesson in life, but why did it have to be with you? maybe because you were the most important person to me...i think its the people who are closest to you that have to rip your heart out for you to ever learn. and im learning. but i dont want to.
i know SOMETHING positive will come out of this. i may meet a guy, fall in love, and our love will soar high above what we had together...but i cant see that now. and i long for that. not for the guy, but for the eyes and heart to see past this shit, and see what the world has for me. right now..i am feeling very decived...right now, i hate love, because its no longer apart of my life. i know that will change one day...one day
i still love you...and i am glad to hear that you are happy.