100+ Confessions
1. I'm really bored.
2. Doing this seemed like a good idea.
3. As this goes on, it'll end up making less and less sense.
4. I don't expect a lot of people to read this all the way through.
5. The past week's been really rough.
6. Even though these are confessions, I refuse to go into it.
7. I try to let go of things as fast as I can.
8. It's virtually impossible though.
9. When people hurt me, I take it really hard.
10. I might not always show it though.
11. I hate to cry in front of people.
12. This week, I've cried in front of a lot of people
13. More than I would ever like to have cried in front of them in the entire 4 years of high school.
14. A lot of people really helped me though.
15. I want to move off of this subject.
16. My first real boyfriend was Justin Petty in 8th grade.
17. I thought he was really hot.
18. I wasn't the only one.
19. We were together for a month.
20. We started going out when he walked me from my bus stop to the corner next to my house.
21. We would've walked further but my dad was working outside in the yard.
22. He was a really good kisser.
23. He gave the best hugs.
24. He used to hug me, and squeeze really hard.
25. Then he'd pick me up.
26. I enjoyed it.
27. It wasn't really anything serious, though.
28. Freshman year I had this thing with Justin Martin.
29. Not my smartest idea.
30. I was really working on personality.
31. He was very sweet to me.
32. One day, I went over to his house.
33. We ended up having sex.
34. I kept my boots on.
35. The week after, he brought me to his house after school.
36. We had sex again.
37. I honestly thought I was in love with him.
38. But now I realize that I'm just a sucker for a sweet talker.
39. I hate rap/hip-hop/r&b with a passion.
40. I can only stand it when I'm at a dance.
41. I love to dance.
42. Grinding is fun with the right people.
43. I don't have good first impressions of people all the time.
44. My first impression is always questionable.
45. I hated Tina at first.
46. I also thought that Kendra was a bitch.
47. Now I know that she isn't.
48. And I <3 Tina.
49. Sophomore year...
50. I used to have Nick bring my tray up
51. And he always would.
52. Sorry Nick.
53. I'm petrified of ghost movies.
54. and bugs
55. and spiders
56. and the ocean
57. From seventh - ninth grade I was involved with 2 guys on and off.
58. I had a crush on one of them in 6th grade.
59. There was never anything serious.
60. They each tired to tell me that they wanted something serious.
61. They just wanted someone to fool around with.
62. I ended up figuring it out and told them to fuck themselves.
63. I'm glad I got rid of them.
64. I'm pissed it took me so long.
65. Sucker for a sweet talker.
66. I'm hoping this list doesn't twist anyone's perception of me in a bad way.
67. I adore Matt.
68. Besides Keith, he's a guy I can really trust.
69. I didn't always trust him.
70. But I can be a little paranoid.
71. We used to fight a lot...
72. But now we really don't at all.
73. I really loved what he did for me yesterday before he went to lunch.
74. I calmed down a lot more after that.
75. I think Samantha Ellis is really really attractive.
76. Not in a lesbian way.
77. She's just very naturally pretty.
78. Sometimes I get really jealous of my friends...
79. But they're still my friends so I don't say anything.
80. That'd be stupid anyway.
81. I once tried to be bulimic in junior high
82. I did it for a month.
83. I stopped on the day I almost choked on it.
84. I was a really stupid person in junior high.
85. I'm still healing from stuff at that point in my life.
86. A lot of the insecurities I have now are rooted from there.
87. Paul was my first love.
88. That was a crazy-bad relationship.
89. It should have ended after the first month.
90. It ended up going on for a year
91. On and off.
92. He hurt me a lot.
93. I let him.
94. Sweet talker, I'm telling you.
95. But it wasn't just sweet talking that time.
96. He and I really clicked.
97. We were able to have very intelligent conversations.
98. He was witty.
99. I love genuine wit.
100. I wasn't sure if I'd make it to 100.
101. But here I am at 101 and I'm not done yet.
102. I hate to lie.
103. I love to help people with their problems.
104. Someone once told me it was because I don't want to deal with my own.
105. I'm not sure if that's true or not.
106. I take a lot of what people say to heart.
107. More than I let on.
108. I want to be a high school English teacher.
109. I have a tremendous fear of failing.
110. I aspire to write a novel by the time I'm 25.
111. I forget things sometimes.
112. I don't like to admit to certain things.
113. That's ironic because I'm doing a confessions thing.
114. I owe a lot of people money.
115. Not large sums.
116. I just owe dollar bills here and there.
117. I feel bad asking my parents for money.
118. My mom's still in school.
119. My dad's laid off till March.
120. I'm in the process of getting a job.
121. I prefer homemade things vs. purchased.
122. Like Sam's birthday card.
123. And the carebears drawing.
124. I put it somewhere.
125. But now I'm not sure where.
126. That really upsets me.
127. 'Cause I found a frame for it.
128. Matt's note in the picture frame thing was wonderful too.
129. I put a lot of effort in his CD.
130. I like to put out a tough image.
131. I'm actually pretty soft.
132. I have a really short temper.
133. But I can hardly ever stay mad.
134. I like sex.
135. I refuse to lie about that.
136. I'd never just sleep with anyone though.
137. But if other people want to do it, I won't judge them.
138. It's just not me.
139. I'm a biter.
140. I have an oral fixation.
141. I had a pacifier till I was 4.
142. I sometimes get nervous for no reason.
143. I just decided to put this in an LJ cut...
144. 'Cause it's longer than I imagined it would be.
145. I hate being bitchy.
146. But sometimes I can't help it.
147. Or I can help it.
148. But I don't have the energy to.
149. Paul Lisenby liked me when I was a freshman.
150. I went to the talent show just to hang out with him.
151. I wanted to hold his hand.
152. He wanted to hold mine but he had a girlfriend.
153. I was really upset.
154. Last year he went out with this girl Amanda.
155. She thought I still wanted him.
156. I was pretty pissed that she sent people to yell at me.
157. I wanted to tell her I didn't fuckin' want him.
158. But I ended up being polite when I confronted her.
159. I was glad when they all left.
160. I miss Pyro and John a lot.
161. At one time, I really liked John.
162. We were close to doing something once.
163. But it never ended up happening.
164. It was weird for a while after that.
165. But I think we both got over it.
166. Sometimes I like to argue with people on purpose.
167. Because I have pent up frustration.
168. I pick people that are mature enough to handle it.
169. Like Jerica and Matt.
170. The next day, everything's usually fine.
171. Matt and I have had some heated arguments though.
172. I miss working at Simcock Farm.
173. But I don't regret quitting.
174. It's just not the right job for me.
175. I masturbate.
176. And I do it at least twice a day.
177. I don't understand why some people find it gross.
178. I'm bisexual.
179. But it seems like I'm just attracted to girls sexually.
180. By that, I mean I'd fuck a girl.
181. Relationships with them are officially a no-no.
182. There's too many complications, I've found.
183. I like being with guys more (but some people say that makes me not bi)
184. I'm submissive.
185. I adore mixtapes / mixcd's as gifts.
186. I relate a lot of situations to music.
187. I'd love someone to do the same for me.
188. By that, I mean for someone to say a specific song is for me.
189. It's happened only a few times.
190. I'm very attached to each one of those songs though.
191. I'm selective about my music.
192. I don't let anyone change my mind about what I like.
193. I'll only change my mind on my own.
194. I hate to admit I'm wrong.
195. I adore being right.
196. I like to be taken care of.
197. But I'm capable of being independant.
198. I'm a cheap date.
199. I get jealous.
200. I don't hide it very well.
201. I hate almost all kinds of monkey.
202. I don't know why.
203. I don't find them cute.
204. 27 is my favorite number.
205. It's also my birthday.
206. Flori was my first choice.
207. Ag. Mechanics was my second.
208. I'm not sure which would've been better.
209. I hate some of the people in flori.
210. But I also hate Chenelle in Ag. Mechanics.
211. I used to like her.
212. Now I really can't trust her.
213. As far as I've seen, she's not a good person.
214. I don't want to end this on that note.
215. I love to write in this thing.
216. I don't know how many people actually read this.
217. If you've read this whole thing, you're amazing.
218. I could never actually read this all.
219. I'm a little nervous that someone's going to be reading any of this.
220. But it would be stupid to delete this all now.
221. I'm hoping I didn't say anything bad.
222. I hate to accidentally insult someone.
223. My mom thinks I have a heart of gold.
224. She also thinks I'm oversensitive.
225. My Godmother believes that the reason I'm that way was because my grandfather died.
226. At that time, my mother was 7 months pregnant.
227. She cried a lot.
228. My eyes aren't brown.
229. They're actually a splash of green with a ring of brown around the pupil.
230. I want to cut choppy layers into my hair.
231. I really really need that job.
232. Sometimes I really lack ambition.
233. Like right now, I lack ambition...
234. To go any further with this.
235. So I'm ending it right here.