Life in general
It's amazing how time flies in between posts. Not exactly sure what this is going to be about, just going to type whatever comes to mind. End of the year, wow, nothing like that to wake you up. Kind of forces you to take a look at your life. I'm thinking mine wasn't all that great. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of things to be thankful for and had a lot of good times. But, overall, I'm not real happy. Actually, I think I'm pretty much depressed. Maybe disappointed, probably both. Way too much happening to go in to all the details. I guess the bottom line is I'm not happy.
I feel like I'm running through life trying to make everyone else happy and its making me miserable. I'm reaching the point I just want to get off the ride, just drop everything and start over. Unfortunately I can't do that. Being on lj helps keep me sane. Kind of like leading two lives. When I'm on here I can read about and talk to people about things that interest me that I can't talk about in real life.
I guess thats pretty sad. Being with the person your supposed to spend the rest of your life with and they have no idea what is going through your head. So much in common, yet opposite in so many ways. I feel like I need two lives to survive.
In the process of withdrawl from life I pushed away all my friends. Not a good thing, I have no one to talk to or confide in. Some of my online friends know more about what is going on than anyone in real life. Why is it so much easier to talk to a stranger? Maybe stranger is not a good word. How about a faceless friend? That describes some of you, but I know what some of you look like. I guess online friend works best. Online friends are the best, always easy to talk to.
Online Friends. Would we have the same relationship if we knew in each other in person? Would we each be accepted into our circle of friends? Would it matter? Does the internet break down the barriers that would be there in real life? I have friends online that I'm sure I would not have in real life for a variety of reasons. Main one being distance, others include age and lifestyle. I for one would love to meet all of my online friends, at least once, just to give them a hug and say thanks for being my friend.
Things I want to do next year: Make it a better year, get in touch with all of my old friends, make good on anything I may have messed up last year, stay focused, try harder and follow through, get my priorities straight, oh, can't forget exercise and get in shape, and, most important, find that confidante that is always there when I need them.
I feel like I'm running through life trying to make everyone else happy and its making me miserable. I'm reaching the point I just want to get off the ride, just drop everything and start over. Unfortunately I can't do that. Being on lj helps keep me sane. Kind of like leading two lives. When I'm on here I can read about and talk to people about things that interest me that I can't talk about in real life.
I guess thats pretty sad. Being with the person your supposed to spend the rest of your life with and they have no idea what is going through your head. So much in common, yet opposite in so many ways. I feel like I need two lives to survive.
In the process of withdrawl from life I pushed away all my friends. Not a good thing, I have no one to talk to or confide in. Some of my online friends know more about what is going on than anyone in real life. Why is it so much easier to talk to a stranger? Maybe stranger is not a good word. How about a faceless friend? That describes some of you, but I know what some of you look like. I guess online friend works best. Online friends are the best, always easy to talk to.
Online Friends. Would we have the same relationship if we knew in each other in person? Would we each be accepted into our circle of friends? Would it matter? Does the internet break down the barriers that would be there in real life? I have friends online that I'm sure I would not have in real life for a variety of reasons. Main one being distance, others include age and lifestyle. I for one would love to meet all of my online friends, at least once, just to give them a hug and say thanks for being my friend.
Things I want to do next year: Make it a better year, get in touch with all of my old friends, make good on anything I may have messed up last year, stay focused, try harder and follow through, get my priorities straight, oh, can't forget exercise and get in shape, and, most important, find that confidante that is always there when I need them.