A line allows progress, a circle does not.
YES! Definitely just started page six of my paper! I am SO fucking happy. Apparently once I start something, I'm on a roll. Going to take a break from it for the rest of the night.
Haven't eaten all day. My stomach keeps grumbling :( . I just don't know what to eat. I avoid the kitchen as much as possible because when I go in there I just end up staring at all of the food and getting upset.
I'll pick up a can of soup, then decide I don't want it. I'll look at a Healthy Choice meal, then decide it's not healthy enough.
I get so angry and sad over food now. It sucks.
And I'm afraid that if I eat, I'm going to purge. And I don't want to purge anymore.
I don't eat until nighttime, when I eat with my boyfriend after he gets out of work. But by then I'm so hungry that I'm afraid I'm going to eat everything in sight. I can usually restrain myself for the most part, but since I haven't eaten all day, I'm so hungry that I just want to binge...
Today is my boyfriend's birthday. Unfortunately he has to work, but he gets off around 9:30 and we're going to celebrate when he gets home. I'm excited for him to open his gifts. I always love to give gifts. It makes me feel good.
I'm just so afraid I am going to somehow ruin this special day for him.
I am afraid that if I don't eat, or if I eat very little, it'll upset him.
His birthdays haven't exactly been good. He has had a LOT of bad experiences around the time of each birthday, so he gets pretty low this time each year.
Two years ago, my best friend (at the time) attempted suicide on the day of his birthday, so I had to spend hours at the ER with her. Luckily he was working so he didn't have to deal with the shit. And I left the hospital just in time to take him to a surprise movie.
Still - I don't want to do anything to fuck this up for him. He deserves to have a great birthday. Everyone does.
Haven't eaten all day. My stomach keeps grumbling :( . I just don't know what to eat. I avoid the kitchen as much as possible because when I go in there I just end up staring at all of the food and getting upset.
I'll pick up a can of soup, then decide I don't want it. I'll look at a Healthy Choice meal, then decide it's not healthy enough.
I get so angry and sad over food now. It sucks.
And I'm afraid that if I eat, I'm going to purge. And I don't want to purge anymore.
I don't eat until nighttime, when I eat with my boyfriend after he gets out of work. But by then I'm so hungry that I'm afraid I'm going to eat everything in sight. I can usually restrain myself for the most part, but since I haven't eaten all day, I'm so hungry that I just want to binge...
Today is my boyfriend's birthday. Unfortunately he has to work, but he gets off around 9:30 and we're going to celebrate when he gets home. I'm excited for him to open his gifts. I always love to give gifts. It makes me feel good.
I'm just so afraid I am going to somehow ruin this special day for him.
I am afraid that if I don't eat, or if I eat very little, it'll upset him.
His birthdays haven't exactly been good. He has had a LOT of bad experiences around the time of each birthday, so he gets pretty low this time each year.
Two years ago, my best friend (at the time) attempted suicide on the day of his birthday, so I had to spend hours at the ER with her. Luckily he was working so he didn't have to deal with the shit. And I left the hospital just in time to take him to a surprise movie.
Still - I don't want to do anything to fuck this up for him. He deserves to have a great birthday. Everyone does.