Don't let it get away...
So I'm sitting here with my jeans over a pair of tights, make-up still very much in-tact and hair up.
I never thought I'd ever be back on a stage again. I thought my days of being judged (in every dimension) were over. It was interesting... and difficult to be apart of something from so many different angles. I realized tonight how much more interested I am in watching the kids dance and do well than I am actually dancing and doing well, myself. We cleaned up tonight... the kids did so well... I was so proud. And I think tonight was exactly what I needed because it was time for me to be reminded how much and why I love my job. It all pays off eventually. The hard work... the struggling through class... the arguing... the "just bad days"... it reminds me of that saying that goes something like... "I wouldn't change a thing in the past because it made me who I am today." Something to that effect. It's been very rough this season... but seeing their faces when the firsts and high firsts kept rolling in. Listening to the sound in the judges voices when the talk about how amazing the dances were... watching the segregation in the groups start to dissapear subconsciously because deep down... they know they really ARE a team. It was beautiful. And it suddenly made all the stupid hard stuff sort of... well... worth it (to some degree).
Getting back into class again made me feel young. Almost too young. But I loved it. I loved being apart of something that was fairly detached. One of those... "Just get what you get and walk away..." no strings or anything. I wish I could have shared it with someone... I wish I could STILL share it with someone. It just seems like people are too busy these days to just talk about the little things. Life is all one big drama and I feel like it's only going to get worse. It's all a matter of trying to keep my head.
I'm excited for the next few competitions. Hopefully tonight was a confidence booster.
I never thought I'd ever be back on a stage again. I thought my days of being judged (in every dimension) were over. It was interesting... and difficult to be apart of something from so many different angles. I realized tonight how much more interested I am in watching the kids dance and do well than I am actually dancing and doing well, myself. We cleaned up tonight... the kids did so well... I was so proud. And I think tonight was exactly what I needed because it was time for me to be reminded how much and why I love my job. It all pays off eventually. The hard work... the struggling through class... the arguing... the "just bad days"... it reminds me of that saying that goes something like... "I wouldn't change a thing in the past because it made me who I am today." Something to that effect. It's been very rough this season... but seeing their faces when the firsts and high firsts kept rolling in. Listening to the sound in the judges voices when the talk about how amazing the dances were... watching the segregation in the groups start to dissapear subconsciously because deep down... they know they really ARE a team. It was beautiful. And it suddenly made all the stupid hard stuff sort of... well... worth it (to some degree).
Getting back into class again made me feel young. Almost too young. But I loved it. I loved being apart of something that was fairly detached. One of those... "Just get what you get and walk away..." no strings or anything. I wish I could have shared it with someone... I wish I could STILL share it with someone. It just seems like people are too busy these days to just talk about the little things. Life is all one big drama and I feel like it's only going to get worse. It's all a matter of trying to keep my head.
I'm excited for the next few competitions. Hopefully tonight was a confidence booster.