Just don't get it ....do we?
Really might try doing this journal thing again.
I've been feeling really lost/leftout/forgotten...etc here in in Nati. Kinda eats me alive sometimes because I worry I've done something wrong to make other people not contact me or return my calls/texts. I need out of this rut.
I need to realize that with or without people, it's my life.
It just seems like I've ALWAYS had too much time on my hands. I hate it. I've never been too busy to contact someone I've cared about. I've always gone out of my way to hang out or make plans with people...
...why in the hell can they not appreciate that and return the favor?
I've never been one to keep score or hope for something in return, but I'm really feeling used. It's horrible. I feel like I'm in high school again. Getting walked all over...because I let it. Because I don't want people to be mad at me or think because I tell them off, I'm a mean person.
I don't like that feeling of wondering what people think about me. I dont at all.
I've grown up a lot but I know this will always remain due to the fact that I know part of it is very true. That breaks my heart.
I'm never busy enough, maybe thats my problem. I like my down time. I like my "busy" time...but as I said before, it seems like I've got too much time on my hands. And everyone else could care less.
Rant and rave, Bonnie. No one flippin cares.
Sigh.
-yeah
I've been feeling really lost/leftout/forgotten...etc here in in Nati. Kinda eats me alive sometimes because I worry I've done something wrong to make other people not contact me or return my calls/texts. I need out of this rut.
I need to realize that with or without people, it's my life.
It just seems like I've ALWAYS had too much time on my hands. I hate it. I've never been too busy to contact someone I've cared about. I've always gone out of my way to hang out or make plans with people...
...why in the hell can they not appreciate that and return the favor?
I've never been one to keep score or hope for something in return, but I'm really feeling used. It's horrible. I feel like I'm in high school again. Getting walked all over...because I let it. Because I don't want people to be mad at me or think because I tell them off, I'm a mean person.
I don't like that feeling of wondering what people think about me. I dont at all.
I've grown up a lot but I know this will always remain due to the fact that I know part of it is very true. That breaks my heart.
I'm never busy enough, maybe thats my problem. I like my down time. I like my "busy" time...but as I said before, it seems like I've got too much time on my hands. And everyone else could care less.
Rant and rave, Bonnie. No one flippin cares.
Sigh.
-yeah