Don't Judge This Entry

[truthsbeholder]

When you think about it, it's pretty scary to think about how little control over our own lives sometimes. The opinions and attitudes we form about people and ourselves can be horribly skewed on occasion but at no fault of our own. Everyone judges each other's actions and personality unconsciously. It is an ongoing process too. We compare one individual to another who we believe to be a quintessential of a characteristic. Or we judge them against ourselves. This is an inescapable part of our lives. We can't help but create this impressions in our head, they help us understand each other. However, as I've pointed out before, understanding someone else is a difficult feat. Anyone who has taken AP (or IB) psychology knows how important the first 4 seconds you meet someone are. Within that time period, you have already created an idea of what that person is like in your head. First impressions can determine how you interact with that person from then on. You might not even spend the first 4 seconds talking to that person. Physical appearance can have a tremendous impact on how we view and especially how we treat others. I think most people would agree that they usually give the benefit of the doubt to those they find attractive? How often have you overlooked mistreatment or a flaw in another because you are enamored with them? This is why people will put themselves into abusive or unequal relationships. It goes beyond appearance though. Every public action you make is immediately put to judgment. This initial evaluation is not always correct, people can and do change them. The mind is reluctant to admit its own error though, and even if the original reaction was a skewed one, we cling to part of it and incorporate it into our new appraisal on occasion. People are so distressed by this they will often act antithetic to the way they wish. Peer pressure. It can be said then, that if everyone acts out of trepidation of the scrutiny of their peers, and we judge based on these actions and decisions, that the system is inherently flawed and thus what we see of people in public is never the truth. Society is forced to exhibit a facade for self-preservation and acceptance. Whether this is a good or bad thing depends. Societal influence can prevent people from making wrong decisions or acting in an unacceptable manner, such as murder (although the criteria for a right/acceptable decision or action is completely up to society in the first place, but I think we can safely say murder is a bad thing in most cases). It can also assist to further ostracize those already exiled from public life. Take a Blunt person: they are resented by others because of the person's lack of respect for false images and undue courtesy in dealing with others. Candor can be admired as a positive quality, but in this situation, it is a blemish on that person. In order to succeed in society, we must maintain an entanglement of lies that all members inevitably realize is false. It is only when you have found a close group of friends that you can reveal some of yourself, and only a relatively small amount at that. The corpus of this problem is that too many people are unwilling to alter an opinion of someone. Understanding is only something they think they comprehend. Getting another to take an objective or alternate look at something can be arduous at best. For example, my user name. Truthsbeholder at first look could be interpreted as pretentious by some, implying that I am somehow more enlightened than the next guy. Or it could be seen as an attempt to be pedantic or project an image of profundity. Really, I picked this name cause it sounded cool, and because it is a goal I strive toward. A stranger who reads my journal doesn't know that though (unless he/she is reading this...) and will create a ruling that I am a pompous asshole, which quite possibly could be the case, I'm not sure. But from then on, they will analyze my writing and actions for a narcissistic motive. That will be an image they file under the name Truthsbeholder. I will carry that with me and will be applied to everything I do. How am I supposed to convince them I'm not? How can I even be sure I'm not? It all depends on how convincing of a performance I give. So how do we escape all of this? We don't. I contend that it is a permanent aspect of human nature, though I'd be interested in any ideas people have. So why even discuss it? I can be realistic but still maintain hope that someone smarter than me (Yes! such a person does exist!) will come up with a solution. I'm not an expert on socio-cultural interaction, but awareness is the first step to overcoming a problem. Perhaps the revolution will start right here. I implore you to consider all of this and act to break the restraints we have imposed upon ourselves. Of course, I would be the leader...

"In fact, you have become all of the things you've always run away from"