I just wanna lay down for eternity
I am so sick. I woke up with a splitting headache, tried to eat something so I could take something for it, and now my headache has dulled, but my stomach feels awful, I'm nauseous, weak, and I have that "medicined" kind of feeling, like someone just put a blanket over your mind.
I probably should have stayed home, but I have much work to do, and I have another phone interview this afternoon. I had to tone down my excitement about it so I won't be disappointed.
I had my first workout at Curves yesterday, and let me just say that it was the high point of my day. Except I already feel myself wanting to do more than the recommended, which isn't too bad I guess. I just don't want to burn myself out on it too early in the game. It could be a good addiction to have, working out, it could replace my addiction to "woe is me."
I had three long and intense phone conversations last night with people who needed to vent about shit that I can't fix. I'm drained and low in mood as well as energy. I wish I could fix things, for me and for those I care about, but I can't. And then sometime around 11:30pm, the whole alley thing started to really upset me.
The shit's funny in a comedy sketch, but not in real life, when NUMEROUS people before me in this area and even in this office have had random "city" situations that seemed small escalate into assaults, stalking, etc. I was literally less than four feet from the door to my office, and I walk around this neighborhood to get to work everyday. This morning on my way to work, this man was sitting on his porch (but I didn't see him) and when he said good morning to me, I 'bout jumped out of my skin. I felt a little idiotic about being so jumpy, but if nothing I have to acknowledge that the alley situation affected me more than I may have liked it to. I think when we start to desensitize ourselves to stuff, we forget that too many things can and do easily turn from weird to dangerous. Also, recall the "less than we are" post, which was heavy on my mind because it was inspired by recent situations where friends put themselves in not just unwise but VERY DANGEROUS situations trying to play by everybody else's rules and "just do it". Call me sensitive and overreacting, but when your body and those gut instincts are telling you that something ain't right, you listen to them while you have the opportunity to.
I have to a "challenge" for the job I sort of interviewed for yesterday. It's just a lesson plan, but still, it's annoying to be jumping through hoops for something that they haven't actually interviewed you for. Is this a DC thing? This whole phone interview crap, to see if you're good enough to take on a mission, to see if you're good enough to actually be interviewed in person, to see if you're good enough to bother your references to see if your good enough to be hired for a job that's less challenging than what I'm doing now and really doesn't pay much?? Geez. Not that I'd be complaining if it was offered to me, cause bottom line is, I need to pay rent, and be able to lose myself in cable television when necessary. I'll take what I can get, and keep my eyes open.
I probably should have stayed home, but I have much work to do, and I have another phone interview this afternoon. I had to tone down my excitement about it so I won't be disappointed.
I had my first workout at Curves yesterday, and let me just say that it was the high point of my day. Except I already feel myself wanting to do more than the recommended, which isn't too bad I guess. I just don't want to burn myself out on it too early in the game. It could be a good addiction to have, working out, it could replace my addiction to "woe is me."
I had three long and intense phone conversations last night with people who needed to vent about shit that I can't fix. I'm drained and low in mood as well as energy. I wish I could fix things, for me and for those I care about, but I can't. And then sometime around 11:30pm, the whole alley thing started to really upset me.
The shit's funny in a comedy sketch, but not in real life, when NUMEROUS people before me in this area and even in this office have had random "city" situations that seemed small escalate into assaults, stalking, etc. I was literally less than four feet from the door to my office, and I walk around this neighborhood to get to work everyday. This morning on my way to work, this man was sitting on his porch (but I didn't see him) and when he said good morning to me, I 'bout jumped out of my skin. I felt a little idiotic about being so jumpy, but if nothing I have to acknowledge that the alley situation affected me more than I may have liked it to. I think when we start to desensitize ourselves to stuff, we forget that too many things can and do easily turn from weird to dangerous. Also, recall the "less than we are" post, which was heavy on my mind because it was inspired by recent situations where friends put themselves in not just unwise but VERY DANGEROUS situations trying to play by everybody else's rules and "just do it". Call me sensitive and overreacting, but when your body and those gut instincts are telling you that something ain't right, you listen to them while you have the opportunity to.
I have to a "challenge" for the job I sort of interviewed for yesterday. It's just a lesson plan, but still, it's annoying to be jumping through hoops for something that they haven't actually interviewed you for. Is this a DC thing? This whole phone interview crap, to see if you're good enough to take on a mission, to see if you're good enough to actually be interviewed in person, to see if you're good enough to bother your references to see if your good enough to be hired for a job that's less challenging than what I'm doing now and really doesn't pay much?? Geez. Not that I'd be complaining if it was offered to me, cause bottom line is, I need to pay rent, and be able to lose myself in cable television when necessary. I'll take what I can get, and keep my eyes open.