[Voice (morning) / Action (evening)]

[truthget]

[Voice - Locked from Al, Winry, Gracia, and Elicia]

This might seem like a weird question, but I need to ask.

A lot of people - kids, even - act like they're fine with death and killing. The draft taught me that much. And around here dying doesn't even seem to matter because you just come back anyway. Is that what makes it- [Not okay, he can't

Comments

[Voice]

[cakeblocked]

It's not - !

[Dammit. Luke quiets down by gritting his teeth and clenching his fist. It's not like Ed's saying it is okay, he's just... asking.]

It's... never been acceptable to me. Not even here... Just because you're brought back doesn't make it any less - [Horrifying. Disgusting. Scary. Necessary.] ... acceptable.

[Voice]

[truthget]

...So why do it? Why kill, if it affects you like that?

[Since it obviously does, judging by his reaction.]

[Voice]

[cakeblocked]

[Maybe Luke shouldn't have said anything. The question, the question that feels like an accusation, burns into him and makes him curl up in his chair, his legs pulled up and his arms around them, though he still looks at the journal.]

In my world, it's... kill or be killed. For a while I didn't even feel like fighting anymore, but... but I nearly got killed for it.

[And Tear was injured instead. It's now that he looks away, glancing down below the journal and at the floor.]

And I can't die yet.

[Voice]

[truthget]

Is that really the truth? That there's only two choices? Why do fights have to end with someone dying, one way or another?

[Because in a way... a lot of his confrontations and battles have ended that way, too. Even if he's not the one to deliver the killing blow, he and Al have left a lot of bodies in the wake of their journey. Tucker, the Devil's Nest gang, #48, even the homunculus... is it just his selfishness, clinging to his ideals and forcing others to make the sort of decisions that he can't? To live with that knowledge of who they've killed because he can't stand to be the one to do it?

Is it determination, or is he just being a child?]

[Voice]

[cakeblocked]

If they could end any other way I'd take it in a heartbeat!

[It comes out in a rush. It's the truth, too. That time when he didn't want to fight... He tried to find some other way. He tried and it just... he became such a burden. Such a useless...]

But if doing that just gets everyone I fight beside hurt or killed, I... I couldn't accept that. I don't want to kill, but...

[Voice]

[truthget]

If you don't want to kill, get strong enough to win without taking a life. It's an oversimplified answer, but that doesn't make it any less true.

[If he was bigger, stronger, faster, better... battles could end with fewer blows exchanged, fewer injuries gained on either side. And maybe if he was better with words, the fights wouldn't even have to be started.]

[Voice]

[cakeblocked]

Sometimes it doesn't work like that.

[He looks away from the journal, lowers his head and clenches his fists into shaking hands. He hates killing. He hates it. And he can't... stop. Even though he wants to...]

Some people... they'll die for what they believe in. And they're not going to stop unless they kill you for going against them, or if... you kill them.

[He takes in a shaky breath.] And they won't change... no matter how badly you want them to. No matter how much you talk to them or take them down, they'll keep going with their beliefs... even if it kills so many other people.

[Largo, Legretta and Arietta, who fell with the avalanche... Sync, who fell into the Core...

Master Van.]

[Voice]

[truthget]

I can't believe in that. I can't agree that killing is ever the answer. Deciding whether a person lives or dies isn't within the our rights as humans.

[Maybe it doesn't work out. Maybe they'll keep coming at him again and again.

But he can't kill. He'll fight, and he'll protect everyone he can, and he'll stop lives from being taken. He can't stand this way of thinking, not now or ever.]