(no subject)
I feel insane today. Ive spent the last three weeks taking klonopins everyday. Today I wasn't gunna take one, but that didnt work out too well. i started having a bad day so i took one. it didnt help though. i just took two more. Thats the last of them. Im not gunna take them for a while now. I love them because they make me feel wicked happy and social everyday. The bad effects are that im really just numbing my feelings for the time being and im not really dealing with any issues, not that i have any. I mean I may have a few. The other downside of it is days have just passed by like nothing. Ive forgotten what ive been doing. All i know is that ive been really enjoying myself because ive been ignoring my negative feelings. because ive felt none because of the pills. I know they are there though. like today i just felt so negative and shitty. thats why i took three kps. No more for me from now on though, until i can find some more, which will be another month. Ugh i dont know whats going on anymore. Jackie's back in my life now. I don't even know whats going on with the situation but im going to appreciate her company. I missed her for six months straight and now that we are hanging out again it is great. She makes me happy. Craig does too, but i have to wait a long time to have him. so i dont even know what to do about it anymore. I'm pretty much ignoring the thought of it. I find myself not wanting to talk to him lately, because all this confusion, i just cant talk about it. i have to figure it out on my own. I miss him though. I just cant wallow over it anymore.