JDM time
I think my shtick, Heidi, is that I enjoy all the aspects of a woman. I like the way their minds work. I like the sometimes wonderful and sometimes nutty ways they figure things out and relate themselves to reality. I like the arguments, the laughs, the quarrels, the competitions, the making up. A nearby girl makes the sky bluer, the drinks better, the food tastier. She gives the days more texture, and you know it’s happening to her the same way….I have the feeling it is a damned shame you stand outside the gates with a kind of wistful curiosity about what it’s like inside. I want to be a sort of guide, showing off new and pretty country to the tourist. Life is so damned valuable and so totally miraculous, and they give you such a stingy little hunk of it from womb to tomb, you aught to use all the parts of it there are…If it happens, it adds up to more than the sum of the two people, and it is that extra part out of nowhere that has made all the songs and the poetry and the art. -Travis McGee (One Fearful Yellow Eye, John D MacDonald)
So, I can't pretend to know that this actually echos the sentiments, but I realized this morning that I feel a tad like Heidi (after this passage, clearly). Different context, different explicit subject, but that I've somehow missed out up until now. Like I'd been living in a warehouse and had never seen the trees outside. Don't worry, I'm not going to wax poetic. It's just that it is strange for me to look at my life, even when I'm tired and grumpy, and be able to feel like it's all okay and that when the tired and grumpy wear off that I'll be *happy.* And that when I think about how things are going in my life, except for occasionally feeling a bit overwhelmed, it all looks good; it no longer looks like collapse is imminent, only a couple things concern me. This general feeling of security/calm isn't entirely due to my McGee-like position; I'm just happy to finally feel put-together like everyone thought I always was.
So, I can't pretend to know that this actually echos the sentiments, but I realized this morning that I feel a tad like Heidi (after this passage, clearly). Different context, different explicit subject, but that I've somehow missed out up until now. Like I'd been living in a warehouse and had never seen the trees outside. Don't worry, I'm not going to wax poetic. It's just that it is strange for me to look at my life, even when I'm tired and grumpy, and be able to feel like it's all okay and that when the tired and grumpy wear off that I'll be *happy.* And that when I think about how things are going in my life, except for occasionally feeling a bit overwhelmed, it all looks good; it no longer looks like collapse is imminent, only a couple things concern me. This general feeling of security/calm isn't entirely due to my McGee-like position; I'm just happy to finally feel put-together like everyone thought I always was.