13: Nothing is real anymore
Well I gotta ask myself why...why the hell did this happen? Why in the lords name is this necessary in life...its not right. I sometimes think that im going to wake up form this awful nightmare, i never will though. Id say we dont deserve this, but i dont know if its right to say that, cause no one deserves anything bad that happens to them. Tonite i realized that i mite never see her again...and right now i have no idea what to think. I wanted to see her grow up, i wanted to know what she was gunna look like, i wanted to know what type of person she would be, what she would be interested in, what she listened to, and what kind of realtionship we would have had. I dont know if ill ever get to know her, and if she'll ever get to know me. I dont know if anyone is going to be the same again, I doubt it. The past few days ive been trying to escape all this, and i dont know why. I can never escape reality. One thing that has helped though is my friends. I cant believe how supportive everyone has been. I seriously love you all. And without some of you, i dont think i could have gone through this like I have. Then again all hope isnt lost...i still have some left. Maybe its false hope, i dont know. Most people are probably going to tell me it is, but whatever, ill let myself be stubborn and not give up. Well see...im wishing for the best.
and of course Thank you all,
you know who you are.
and whatever happens, ill remember and love her always
and of course Thank you all,
you know who you are.
and whatever happens, ill remember and love her always