(Untitled)

[truth_in_words]

After several years of serious thought, I've pretty much ruled out the idea of getting my PhD. It's been a slow, difficult realization for me. Since about my junior year in college, I've always assumed that I would go to grad school for English. I, probably more than most, have been stubborn about that goal in the face of the mounting evidence

Comments

[fair_enide]

I think we may be the same person. I have always said that I think I would be perfectly happy adjuncting -- except for the part where it would leave me 100% dependent on my spouse for stuff like, you know, health insurance and money to, like, eat. And I'm really NOT OK with that kind of dependence. So I've been entertaining the prospect of going back home and teaching high school when this degree is over, but, like you, I'm not really thrilled with the prospect of dealing with high schoolers.. Hmm..

But there's so much bullshit in academia. I obviously can't speak for other grad programs, but this semester mine has gotten as bad as law school: super-competitive, with everyone at one another's throats ALL THE TIME. We were all good friends last semester and now most of us only speak to each other when we have to. And we haven't even started applying to PhDs, writing theses, or anything -- people have just gone insane. When two people in our year didn't get assistantships for next year, the shit absolutely hit the fan. It's terrible. These people are making me really unhappy here. It shouldn't have to be like this, but it is.

And like you, I don't want to spend several years, thousands (many thousands) of dollars in student loans, only to have to choose between adjuncting with no benefits or job security and Podunk, Kansas. And I don't want to be under pressure to publish, publish, publish. I want this ideal that doesn't exist, and I'm not sure what I should "settle" for instead. It's not a matter of CAN I do it (yes, I can, and very well, too), but a matter of if I WANT to do it. And... I really don't know, for all of the reasons you've mentioned here.

[truth_in_words]

Exactly. Word for word, that's it.

We've been setting our hopes on what, from a distance, looks like the idealized job. Then you read, and in your case, learn through experience, about all the politics, the enormous pressure to constantly publish, and the horrendous job prospects. The job we really want doesn't exist, and the reality is a lot to swallow. Medical doctors go to school for 4 years and will definitely find a job, most likely making a ton of money. English majors go to school longer to get an equivalent degree, then aren't respected nearly as much and in many cases are paid criminally low salaries for the amount of schooling. I've always been the first to say its not about the money, it's about doing what you love. But it reaches a point where you have to let logic creep in, and a PhD in the humanities is like career suicide these days.

[fair_enide]

The only people who should really be pursuing humanities PhDs right now are the ones who are driven to publish on their own. The really sad thing about that, though, is that generally those people are TERRIBLE teachers, because they don't care. They only care about their own research, and teaching is that inconvenient thing they have to do along the way. Alas. If only I could mind-meld or share a tenure-track position at a small liberal arts college with a person like that...