Faith
"Faith is not belief. Belief is passive. Faith is active."- Edith Hamilton.
That is a statement I find too true.
I, for one, have lost my faith. Not my belief in God, necessarily, but I no longer seem to have that religious conviction that I once had.
I find myself drawing away from God because of the things that I want to do that I know I shouldn't do. It's easier to act on these things without guilt if I just don't think about God or how He feels about my actions. It's easier to live in sin if I don't have a conscience bothering me, so I block out the morals and beliefs that my parents tried so hard to inculcate in me when I was a child in order to live out my life in the selfish way that I have chosen to.
Lately, I find myself responding to others' words and actions in the ways that are least likely to bring up questions that I do not want to answer. Is this because of a lack of character? Or do I just not have the energy to want to explain myself anymore? I used to have so much passion. I used to turn to God in difficult situations. I used to pray. I used to care about religion. I used to stick up for my beliefs. How have I grow so morose and simply tired of my life? How could I allow myself to give up?
I find myself only turning to God for His mercy in situations that I feel utterly helpless in, which He always provides me with. But then I never return the favor. I'm only there when I want something.
Have I become one of those fair-weather disciples that I loathe so much?
That is a statement I find too true.
I, for one, have lost my faith. Not my belief in God, necessarily, but I no longer seem to have that religious conviction that I once had.
I find myself drawing away from God because of the things that I want to do that I know I shouldn't do. It's easier to act on these things without guilt if I just don't think about God or how He feels about my actions. It's easier to live in sin if I don't have a conscience bothering me, so I block out the morals and beliefs that my parents tried so hard to inculcate in me when I was a child in order to live out my life in the selfish way that I have chosen to.
Lately, I find myself responding to others' words and actions in the ways that are least likely to bring up questions that I do not want to answer. Is this because of a lack of character? Or do I just not have the energy to want to explain myself anymore? I used to have so much passion. I used to turn to God in difficult situations. I used to pray. I used to care about religion. I used to stick up for my beliefs. How have I grow so morose and simply tired of my life? How could I allow myself to give up?
I find myself only turning to God for His mercy in situations that I feel utterly helpless in, which He always provides me with. But then I never return the favor. I'm only there when I want something.
Have I become one of those fair-weather disciples that I loathe so much?