*thoughts
So I'm just sitting here thinking about my life. Not in whole...but for the last maybe 4 or 5 years. It's so weird..
I always talked about how things were going to change and how things have changed...and until this day, I never realized how much they really did. in 12th grade...I remember never liking school...but I felt in that year, I was at my happiest. I had the best friends someone could have. Not only that but I had a boyfriend, who at first was my bestfriend, and after was my bestfriend. I remember only a couple times being really sad. When I look back to compare now to then...I wanna know what the hell I was thinking!
12th grade sucked so bad! When I see how happy I am now with my REAL friends, my boyfriend, and my job, I see how miserable I was last year. And even when not comapring it to how things are NOW, I still think I had to have been depressed last year. It was horrible. I had one boy who I couldn't get off my mind, people wanting to kick my ass for a year, the worst job, some of the most backstabbing friends, no life, I didn't do any good senior activites, I didn't enjoy prom...NOTHING. Not one thing did I have going for me last year. I think it's really sad that last year, I thought I was truly happy.
People have changed so much too. For some reason, I have always associated myself with people who "needed help"...ie: people who did drugs or something like that. All my attempts of helping these people...failed...horribly. I remember Doc telling me "You'll keep going down the wrong road over, and over, and over again until you see that it's getting you nowhere....that's when you'll look around, and finally take another path." After I graduated that's exactly what I did. None of the people that I actually hang out with "need help"...my b/f doesnt need help, and most of all, I don't have to help. I can finally focus on myself instead of focusing on everyone else. But people who didn't need my help then, somehow have turned to people who do need help...and that makes me sad. How
Either way, people can resent me for bettering my situation, because I know people who do. I don't need to surround myself with backstabbers, drugs, and drama...I'm all set. I'm not here to better other peoples situations, and maybe to you it seems selfish, but to me it's the best thing I could have done. So talk on, and bad mouth me. Make me feel bad when you see me then call me and act like we're bestfriends...do things like that...it only makes me want to distance myself more.
"Gos bless the broken road that led me straight to you"