she's going to fix her heart and make it bulletproof | ginny(/harry) | pg
Out of the shadow of Bill, and Charlie, and Percy, and GeorgeandFred and FredandGeorge(but not Ron, really, because Ron never cast much of a shadow) she grows up
(when he's not looking, she grows up).
She's not the freckle-faced girl he remembers, hiding behind her mother, blushing to the roots of her too-orange hair, and she's not the moon-eyed, love-struck eleven-year-old she still is in his mind, pouring heart (and soul) into secret diaries, tripping over feet and words in a way he was too polite (too disinterested) to notice.
She's not a jealous fourth year, desperate for him to see her as anything but his best mate's little sister
(that's all anyone ever sees her as, though - the youngest Weasley -- until they see her as Harry Potter's girlfriend, which - in ways that surprise her - is actually worse. Harry's a hero, and she's supposed to wait for him (but all she's ever done is wait for him)).
She's not a child and she doesn't need protection; she's a soldier (and maybe she'll never be as book smart or hard as Hermione's become, and maybe she'll never see some of the things Hermione has, but there are things she knows (one. she will, one day, be older than Fred ever was. two. George will never, ever be OK again) and things she did (she killed; she fought to kill, and did), but she'll never talk about them, because the war changed everyone).
She's not the Ginny he remembers, but he's the Harry he's always been, protective and noble in a way that makes her want to scream, and they don't fit together well (he needs her to put the pieces back together, needs her because she's familiar and family, but she doesn't need fixing and she doesn't need him).
She outgrows him as easily as she did her first school robes (not overnight, but it feels like it), and it's something that would've crushed her, years ago, just to think, but maybe his rough edges and her hard lines are never going to fit together again.
Out of the shadow of Bill, and Charlie, and Percy, and GeorgeandFred and FredandGeorge(but not Ron, really, because Ron never cast much of a shadow) she grows up
(when he's not looking, she grows up).
She's not the freckle-faced girl he remembers, hiding behind her mother, blushing to the roots of her too-orange hair, and she's not the moon-eyed, love-struck eleven-year-old she still is in his mind, pouring heart (and soul) into secret diaries, tripping over feet and words in a way he was too polite (too disinterested) to notice.
She's not a jealous fourth year, desperate for him to see her as anything but his best mate's little sister
(that's all anyone ever sees her as, though - the youngest Weasley -- until they see her as Harry Potter's girlfriend, which - in ways that surprise her - is actually worse. Harry's a hero, and she's supposed to wait for him (but all she's ever done is wait for him)).
She's not a child and she doesn't need protection; she's a soldier (and maybe she'll never be as book smart or hard as Hermione's become, and maybe she'll never see some of the things Hermione has, but there are things she knows (one. she will, one day, be older than Fred ever was. two. George will never, ever be OK again) and things she did (she killed; she fought to kill, and did), but she'll never talk about them, because the war changed everyone).
She's not the Ginny he remembers, but he's the Harry he's always been, protective and noble in a way that makes her want to scream, and they don't fit together well (he needs her to put the pieces back together, needs her because she's familiar and family, but she doesn't need fixing and she doesn't need him).
She outgrows him as easily as she did her first school robes (not overnight, but it feels like it), and it's something that would've crushed her, years ago, just to think, but maybe his rough edges and her hard lines are never going to fit together again.
(It takes a lot more to crush her, these days).
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