the diamond dogs
last night i was welcomed to the moulin rouge. loud vibrations, ravenous eyes, clutching palms. i was taken around, introduced to companies of people and complimented... and i disliked it. bearing a smile i endured. i drank. i danced on the stage. i put on a show.
that's all it is, a show. just a few more months and i won't have to pretend any more. i'll be some place else, some place cleaner and brighter. i'll pretend i've forgotten.
i feel myself shut. i am closed, inside secreted a treasure box and two "happy thoughts" to soothe me tranquil. one of them is a memory, the second is the future.
my memory is crisp and untainted. it is my favorite place to go back in time... it reminds me that i am not a piece of flesh.
that i am a person.
maybe bad, maybe fun, maybe dull, maybe talentless, maybe humourous, maybe not very bright, maybe too apologetic, maybe cowardly secretive, maybe foolishly friendly, maybe an un-ladylike mess, maybe disappointingly irresponsible, maybe scared, maybe seriously loving, maybe seriously childish, definitely addicted, maybe mellow, maybe bitter, maybe forgiving...and so much more.
im not my skin.
that's all it is, a show. just a few more months and i won't have to pretend any more. i'll be some place else, some place cleaner and brighter. i'll pretend i've forgotten.
i feel myself shut. i am closed, inside secreted a treasure box and two "happy thoughts" to soothe me tranquil. one of them is a memory, the second is the future.
my memory is crisp and untainted. it is my favorite place to go back in time... it reminds me that i am not a piece of flesh.
that i am a person.
maybe bad, maybe fun, maybe dull, maybe talentless, maybe humourous, maybe not very bright, maybe too apologetic, maybe cowardly secretive, maybe foolishly friendly, maybe an un-ladylike mess, maybe disappointingly irresponsible, maybe scared, maybe seriously loving, maybe seriously childish, definitely addicted, maybe mellow, maybe bitter, maybe forgiving...and so much more.
im not my skin.