"Oh, that's right, you're a lesbian!"
The other day I ate lunch with a girl and guy whom I'm getting to know. (The girl is a lesbian and I have a feeling that guy is unintentionally becoming a lesbro.) I told a story about a male friend making weird advances, and at the point in the story when I subtly mentioned my sexuality (talking about going to a gay pride parade), the girl said the titular quote.
And it's sort of weird because I've never said that.
This is not about me being indignant because I was labeled or something, because that's not it. I used to identify as bisexual, and when I was referenced as such I was okay with it. During this year I came to realize that I was far more interested in women than in men. I have no desire to date men, and it's probably unlikely that I would have sex with a man. So far I fulfill most qualifications for being a lesbian. The thing is that sometimes I find men attractive. For example, when I watched Lost I thought Naveen Andrews/Sayid was pretty hot. The amount of attraction I feel toward men like him is usually a lot less than the amount of attraction I will feel toward women, though. (To continue with Lost-themed examples, Evangeline Lilly/Kate.) Given the choice between an attractive man and an attractive woman, I can almost guarantee that I will choose the woman every time.
And see, that's the thing. Lesbians are not attracted to men, but I don't consider my interest in men substantial enough to identify myself as bisexual. My best friend knows this and will refer to me as her "really gay best friend." For all intents and purposes, I guess that's true. I said I was gay once, but it was quick and sort of quiet. I think that people in my situation adopt the term queer, but that doesn't seem right either because it sounds so much deeper than how I feel.
I wouldn't say that this is an issue because really, it's not. It's just something that comes to mind when I watch other people address me.
And it's sort of weird because I've never said that.
This is not about me being indignant because I was labeled or something, because that's not it. I used to identify as bisexual, and when I was referenced as such I was okay with it. During this year I came to realize that I was far more interested in women than in men. I have no desire to date men, and it's probably unlikely that I would have sex with a man. So far I fulfill most qualifications for being a lesbian. The thing is that sometimes I find men attractive. For example, when I watched Lost I thought Naveen Andrews/Sayid was pretty hot. The amount of attraction I feel toward men like him is usually a lot less than the amount of attraction I will feel toward women, though. (To continue with Lost-themed examples, Evangeline Lilly/Kate.) Given the choice between an attractive man and an attractive woman, I can almost guarantee that I will choose the woman every time.
And see, that's the thing. Lesbians are not attracted to men, but I don't consider my interest in men substantial enough to identify myself as bisexual. My best friend knows this and will refer to me as her "really gay best friend." For all intents and purposes, I guess that's true. I said I was gay once, but it was quick and sort of quiet. I think that people in my situation adopt the term queer, but that doesn't seem right either because it sounds so much deeper than how I feel.
I wouldn't say that this is an issue because really, it's not. It's just something that comes to mind when I watch other people address me.