(no subject)
War: what is it good for? The simple answer is that war is good for crushing fascism, pacifying terrorists, and spreading freedom. As such, most Americans agree that winning the war in Iraq, and subsequently the War on Terror, is an important step towards global democracy and thus global peace. However, many wish to take a “cut-and-run” approach to these wars, essentially waving the white flag of surrender. These naysayers, or pinko-commies as many recognize them, are often found bloviating about noble topics such as civilian life, local culture, and the troops in defense of their position to withdraw.
Everyone supports the troops, at least publicly. To come forth and state that you do not support the troops is political suicide. In the name of “supporting” the troops, many people have stepped forward and called for the removal our men and women fighting in foreign lands, continually our efforts and troops. I, like all real Americans, wish for a decisive victory with fewer allied deaths. However, unlike many I have a proposal that I feel will bring our proud nation to an easy victory.
We must strengthen our troops; however, the cost is currently an absurd amount. Even our current fiscally reasonable government has difficulties supplying the necessary funds to purchase more equipment for our troops; increased government spending is not the answer. Neither is an increased training regimen, as our system, like most things American, is the best in the world. My plan, when implemented, can keep the same effectiveness of our current troop level at one half the costs, and with similar deployment numbers.
My plan calls for the augmentation of our current forces by replacing eighty-five percent of them with fresh Special Forces. These new fighters for freedom will be able to increase the effectiveness of our current equipment, such as armored personnel carriers, Meals Ready to Eat, and body armor. Our new forces will be able to boast lower wound rates, while maintaining or exceeding current energy levels. The only drawback of these troops is their general lack of combat experience; however, the infusion of this green group with the current battle hardened remaining fifteen percent is the perfect antidote.
By this time I am sure that many have guessed that I am supporting a cloning and genetic modification program; however, this is not the case. Cloning is a support of stem cell research, which in turn only supports abortion. And, as we all know, the willing abortion of a defenseless child is not only morally wrong, it’s downright un-American. I, like all well read gentlemen and scholars, feel that all children should be given a fighting chance at life. But I digress. The program I am suggesting is CHAT, otherwise known as Children Helping as Actual Troops.
By using young adults who, until this time, are an untapped recruiting resource to continue the fight against global terror, we will be better able to win this war of wars. These juveniles will learn the value of a hard day’s work as well as proper respect for adults and the government. But how will mere children be able to double the effectiveness of our army? Well, the answer is quite simple. It is a well-known fact that children simply have more energy than the average adult, which will allow them to keep up the fight for longer periods of time with significantly less fatigue than regular troops. Most children are approximately one-half the volume of the average adult, thus they require less protective covering than regular adults. Similarly, it would make sense that they also would consume one half the amount of standard issued rations. This alone has the potential to save our fine nation million of dollars a year. Their respective size also makes them much more difficult to hit, and allows the United States Army to place twice as many troops per vehicle as is currently allowed. Some freedom-hating people are sure to stand in opposition of this proposal and claim “What about the children who will die in foreign lands!?” To them I can only say that in all wars there are deaths and the War on Terror is no exception. Besides, wouldn’t it be better to loose a few children so that all may live free rather than have all live, but live under the oppression of terrorism.
I certainly hope that you will consider this proposal with an open mind, as it is crucial that Uncle Sam be allowed to prepare his nephews for war. Rather than simply throw temper tantrums about the current state of affairs in Iraq and across the globe, I have set forth a wise plan of action. I suggest that the next time you drive down the highway and see the proudly waving banner of these United States, and it conjures thoughts of our brave men and women, please pause and ask yourself:” Wouldn’t it be better if we could just end it now?” Well we can, all it takes is the world’s most precious resource, the children, to take a stand.
Everyone supports the troops, at least publicly. To come forth and state that you do not support the troops is political suicide. In the name of “supporting” the troops, many people have stepped forward and called for the removal our men and women fighting in foreign lands, continually our efforts and troops. I, like all real Americans, wish for a decisive victory with fewer allied deaths. However, unlike many I have a proposal that I feel will bring our proud nation to an easy victory.
We must strengthen our troops; however, the cost is currently an absurd amount. Even our current fiscally reasonable government has difficulties supplying the necessary funds to purchase more equipment for our troops; increased government spending is not the answer. Neither is an increased training regimen, as our system, like most things American, is the best in the world. My plan, when implemented, can keep the same effectiveness of our current troop level at one half the costs, and with similar deployment numbers.
My plan calls for the augmentation of our current forces by replacing eighty-five percent of them with fresh Special Forces. These new fighters for freedom will be able to increase the effectiveness of our current equipment, such as armored personnel carriers, Meals Ready to Eat, and body armor. Our new forces will be able to boast lower wound rates, while maintaining or exceeding current energy levels. The only drawback of these troops is their general lack of combat experience; however, the infusion of this green group with the current battle hardened remaining fifteen percent is the perfect antidote.
By this time I am sure that many have guessed that I am supporting a cloning and genetic modification program; however, this is not the case. Cloning is a support of stem cell research, which in turn only supports abortion. And, as we all know, the willing abortion of a defenseless child is not only morally wrong, it’s downright un-American. I, like all well read gentlemen and scholars, feel that all children should be given a fighting chance at life. But I digress. The program I am suggesting is CHAT, otherwise known as Children Helping as Actual Troops.
By using young adults who, until this time, are an untapped recruiting resource to continue the fight against global terror, we will be better able to win this war of wars. These juveniles will learn the value of a hard day’s work as well as proper respect for adults and the government. But how will mere children be able to double the effectiveness of our army? Well, the answer is quite simple. It is a well-known fact that children simply have more energy than the average adult, which will allow them to keep up the fight for longer periods of time with significantly less fatigue than regular troops. Most children are approximately one-half the volume of the average adult, thus they require less protective covering than regular adults. Similarly, it would make sense that they also would consume one half the amount of standard issued rations. This alone has the potential to save our fine nation million of dollars a year. Their respective size also makes them much more difficult to hit, and allows the United States Army to place twice as many troops per vehicle as is currently allowed. Some freedom-hating people are sure to stand in opposition of this proposal and claim “What about the children who will die in foreign lands!?” To them I can only say that in all wars there are deaths and the War on Terror is no exception. Besides, wouldn’t it be better to loose a few children so that all may live free rather than have all live, but live under the oppression of terrorism.
I certainly hope that you will consider this proposal with an open mind, as it is crucial that Uncle Sam be allowed to prepare his nephews for war. Rather than simply throw temper tantrums about the current state of affairs in Iraq and across the globe, I have set forth a wise plan of action. I suggest that the next time you drive down the highway and see the proudly waving banner of these United States, and it conjures thoughts of our brave men and women, please pause and ask yourself:” Wouldn’t it be better if we could just end it now?” Well we can, all it takes is the world’s most precious resource, the children, to take a stand.