(no subject)
I know, I know, I really haven't been around or updating anything as of late. Haven't been doing much on the MUSHes, writting or talking much. Really don't feel like doing much to be completely honest. But I must admit that this week has been hell. On Tuesday, my Grandfather pasted away. I really am not sure what to think about that. In one corner I am upset. But this is no where near as painful as it was when my grandma pasted away. I was just never close to my dad's part of the family. They were all strangers to me. Still are in fact. I was always close to my mom's part of the family, even now. Though he was never one you can really get close too. Which was difficult for me as a kid, for I was determined to be close to him on the few times I actually seen him. Despite him grumbling and saying he was busy I would force him to read me a book. What is sad though, is my dad never got to see him before he died. My dad had plans to go to New Jersey on Tuesday for that was when his flight was booked. But, by then it was too late. So I really its been hard on him. I guess Friday was the viewing, which I heard Grandpa Walker looked horrible despite the fact that he was made up nicely. It just didn't look like him. Saturday was the mass..not sure how that went. I was told I could have gone..but why? I know it mostly would be to comfort my dad, but it would be hard on me. Perhaps too hard on me. For I can comfort others, yes, but it would end up hurting me to be in that environment. That and I have no plans to being at anyone's funeral. I am sorry guys..I won't be coming to your funeral or wake. I would rather remember others alive than dead.
I have also been seriously ill since Wednesday. Even now I sit here sick. I have lost my appetite and for the most part have been eating one meal a day... Though today I did have a least two meals a day. Sure I would like to lose some pounds but I don't think that is the best way to go about it. I am also not sleeping very well. Infact I am getting maybe 4 hours of sleep. And this is after tossing and turning til 6-8am in the morning before I finally end up crashing. I do try to sleep, I just can't. My body is not tired. I also have been calling in. Well, actually on Friday I called in sick the last minute after feeling rather dizzy. On Saturday however I did go in. And then about 2 hours later I ended up leaving. When I just started I was practically dazed and shaking. It is pretty sad when a young kid came and asked me.."Lady, are you okay? Are you okay, Lady?" Being that it simply was not busy at all, I asked if I could go home early since I was still really sick. I didn't expect them to send me home that instant.
Also there is a huge thing going on with my younger sister where all hell has hit the fan. I woke up to yelling around 6 am, being that my sister's room is next door. Now, I just got to sleep about 15 minutes before, and wasn't too happy about being woken up so what the just of the conversation was, I wasn't sure. All I know, is there was yelling and I was annoyed because I was having problems sleeping and was just woken...
I was looking at the calender and noticed that hey, my 23rd b-day is in a week. Wow, didn't figure it would come so quickly.
I have also been seriously ill since Wednesday. Even now I sit here sick. I have lost my appetite and for the most part have been eating one meal a day... Though today I did have a least two meals a day. Sure I would like to lose some pounds but I don't think that is the best way to go about it. I am also not sleeping very well. Infact I am getting maybe 4 hours of sleep. And this is after tossing and turning til 6-8am in the morning before I finally end up crashing. I do try to sleep, I just can't. My body is not tired. I also have been calling in. Well, actually on Friday I called in sick the last minute after feeling rather dizzy. On Saturday however I did go in. And then about 2 hours later I ended up leaving. When I just started I was practically dazed and shaking. It is pretty sad when a young kid came and asked me.."Lady, are you okay? Are you okay, Lady?" Being that it simply was not busy at all, I asked if I could go home early since I was still really sick. I didn't expect them to send me home that instant.
Also there is a huge thing going on with my younger sister where all hell has hit the fan. I woke up to yelling around 6 am, being that my sister's room is next door. Now, I just got to sleep about 15 minutes before, and wasn't too happy about being woken up so what the just of the conversation was, I wasn't sure. All I know, is there was yelling and I was annoyed because I was having problems sleeping and was just woken...
I was looking at the calender and noticed that hey, my 23rd b-day is in a week. Wow, didn't figure it would come so quickly.