make up your damn mind
ok seriously. people need to knwo what they want. especially from me. i try to make people happy as much as i can. and when i try, they go around doing other shit. and completely forgetting what im trying to do. i know it sounds selfish in a way. but im so sick of always trying to please people and just ending up with me on the side. im tyring my very best to get over this shit. but it keeps happening. u would think that i'd be used to it then, but no. im not. it just makes me try harder. but then i get all extra salty. AHHH. i seriously just want to scream. only two things can make me happy right now. and at the moment one is too busy right now... which is okay i dont expect people to drop things for me like i do for them. and well i cant do the other thing because im at my dads and he's out to get me. i swear i need to cut back. and every damn time i realy realy want to and am seriously serious about doing it, shit liek this always happens. i'm leaving in a month, so then if i ever need to just go and blow off some steam i can right? and see who i want to see, do what i wantto do without people on my back all the time. i mus admit that i do do some pretty fucked up shit as well. however, i know that, and i apologize when i realize it. but i can only handle so much until i just start blowing up. like right now. this is my only outlet for the time being and i dont want to call anyone and bug them with stupid ass drama on a saturday night when everyone else in the world is having fun. this seriously has been one of the longest entries ive ever written. so im done... ehhh il prolly post a simialr entry on my space. ooo my first one and it's a doozy...
:lord, it's hard to know you, i don't always see your plan...so lead me past emotions, because they change with the wind
ilovejesus...