Just Ranting. Don't you hate.... LOATHE the ups and downs of the life of a teenager?
You ever think that just typing will help? Talking to someone helps too, but sometimes you just want to type. Maybe it's because you aren't sure how valid your feelings really are. Or maybe it's because you never think that your feelings are going to be that valid. Maybe you were PRAYING that this was the time, this was the guy, this was your chance. Or maybe you let yourself believe something that'll never be true, at least not in this situation. You can't win them all, but when is it your turn, ya know? You wait and you wait and you wait. And you hope and you hope and you hope. Then BAM!!! Like Rachel's brick wall, I've found my own. Mine isn't non-communication though. It's just a certain type of it. Ever feel like you'll never mean as much to someone as somebody else means to them? Ever feel like you don't know how you're supposed to feel and you wish that someone would just come around and tell you want to think, feel, say, do. Ever feel... helpless. It's a sucky feeling. Not knowing is the worst part. Fast forwarding through life sometimes sounds so appealing. I know, though. I know that I wouldn't like it. I wouldn't have all the cute little memories that I'll hold so dear to me later. I'm looking forward to them though and can't wait till it's my turn to have them. Some people don't get married till they're 40. Some people don't want to. Others get married so young that it doesn't work out. Ever fear that you'll be part of the small majority that never even gets to? I know, stupid thing to be thinking about, especially at my age. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Well then, call me a moron. I'm not thinking about any specific person don't get me wrong. But I am thinking, and it's not easy.