(no subject)
Wow.
I had an emotional break down today.
I did it again.
I started down the wrong path.
I know that I am doing things that are wrong.
I hate myself for it.
The problem is, is I am bringing my sister with me.
I Love Kathi so much.
My mom and sister were talking to me.
They said they miss the old Kathi and Cari.
More Kathi though.
Kathi used to go next door to her friend Nikki's house.
When she'd come home she would just cry and cry thinking about Nikki and her family going to hell.
Sure I dont show it much.
But I do.
Most people dont see me in my stages of worrying.
I know I dont have the power to "save" people.
All I can do is share with them what I know.
I can pray.
I can set an example.
I am scared.
I care for so many people, one person in particular right at the moment.
I know I love him, but he flat out told me hes not religous.
I want so back to talk to him about God.
I know he will flip out though.
I dont know.
I just cried for like a while.
In all reality, I cry ALL the time.
Maybe not physically, but in my heart I do.
I cry out to people "Please listen to me, I know what I am talking about. Jesus loves you more than LIFE ITS SELF!"
I know the Bible is true.
I know God is real.
I know Heaven and Hell are real places.
I know its all real because I can feel it.
When I am doint something I shouldnt do, I feel awful.
I feel like the dirtiest person ever.
I can feel a heavyness on my whole life.
When I do stuff that glorifies God, I can feel it.
I feel good.
I feel Happy.
When I pray I can feel peace.
I know that God is protecting me.
I know He is right there.
Of course I get scared.
I get scared of being killed.
I get scared of dying.
I get scared of getting really sick.
I get scared of everything.
People have told me that I use Jesus, and my religion as "a crutch and stuff."
It really hurts.
When I think about it sometimes I DO use it as a crutch.
Thats not what I want it for.
I LOVE God I WANT to serve HIM.
I WANT to make HIM happy.
He WILL bless ME, and give ME happiness.
All I have to do is give up things that are just in the long run going to hurt me.
Things I want to give up:
Selfishness.
Sex.
My bad attitude.
My love for sin.
Yes I just admitted it.
I love sin.
If sin wasnt fun, why would anyone do it?
The thing is is we need to pull ourselves away from it.
We need to live for the ONLY person who TRUELY loves us.
That person is Jesus Christ.
Any human, even the person you thought would be there no matter what can turn their backs on you.
I have had that happen.
Its not enjoyable.
Heaven and Hell are REAL.
You have to choose where you are going.
Where are you going?
I choose HEAVEN.
Do you want to be happy?
I do.
The only way to be TRULY happy is to love God, and serve Him.
Satan isnt going to make you happy.
I am depressed right now.
I think bout people and just cry and cry.
I love them, I dont want them to die and go to hell.
I WILL PRAY FOR EVERYONE WHO READS THIS.
I WILL PRAY FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO READ AND I DONT KNOW ABOUT IT!
I WILL PRAY FOR THOSE WHO DONT READ THIS!
I LOVE YOU ALL
Love Cari.
I had an emotional break down today.
I did it again.
I started down the wrong path.
I know that I am doing things that are wrong.
I hate myself for it.
The problem is, is I am bringing my sister with me.
I Love Kathi so much.
My mom and sister were talking to me.
They said they miss the old Kathi and Cari.
More Kathi though.
Kathi used to go next door to her friend Nikki's house.
When she'd come home she would just cry and cry thinking about Nikki and her family going to hell.
Sure I dont show it much.
But I do.
Most people dont see me in my stages of worrying.
I know I dont have the power to "save" people.
All I can do is share with them what I know.
I can pray.
I can set an example.
I am scared.
I care for so many people, one person in particular right at the moment.
I know I love him, but he flat out told me hes not religous.
I want so back to talk to him about God.
I know he will flip out though.
I dont know.
I just cried for like a while.
In all reality, I cry ALL the time.
Maybe not physically, but in my heart I do.
I cry out to people "Please listen to me, I know what I am talking about. Jesus loves you more than LIFE ITS SELF!"
I know the Bible is true.
I know God is real.
I know Heaven and Hell are real places.
I know its all real because I can feel it.
When I am doint something I shouldnt do, I feel awful.
I feel like the dirtiest person ever.
I can feel a heavyness on my whole life.
When I do stuff that glorifies God, I can feel it.
I feel good.
I feel Happy.
When I pray I can feel peace.
I know that God is protecting me.
I know He is right there.
Of course I get scared.
I get scared of being killed.
I get scared of dying.
I get scared of getting really sick.
I get scared of everything.
People have told me that I use Jesus, and my religion as "a crutch and stuff."
It really hurts.
When I think about it sometimes I DO use it as a crutch.
Thats not what I want it for.
I LOVE God I WANT to serve HIM.
I WANT to make HIM happy.
He WILL bless ME, and give ME happiness.
All I have to do is give up things that are just in the long run going to hurt me.
Things I want to give up:
Selfishness.
Sex.
My bad attitude.
My love for sin.
Yes I just admitted it.
I love sin.
If sin wasnt fun, why would anyone do it?
The thing is is we need to pull ourselves away from it.
We need to live for the ONLY person who TRUELY loves us.
That person is Jesus Christ.
Any human, even the person you thought would be there no matter what can turn their backs on you.
I have had that happen.
Its not enjoyable.
Heaven and Hell are REAL.
You have to choose where you are going.
Where are you going?
I choose HEAVEN.
Do you want to be happy?
I do.
The only way to be TRULY happy is to love God, and serve Him.
Satan isnt going to make you happy.
I am depressed right now.
I think bout people and just cry and cry.
I love them, I dont want them to die and go to hell.
I WILL PRAY FOR EVERYONE WHO READS THIS.
I WILL PRAY FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO READ AND I DONT KNOW ABOUT IT!
I WILL PRAY FOR THOSE WHO DONT READ THIS!
I LOVE YOU ALL
Love Cari.