Prose log with Sigurd
Who: trueltning_fury and pirate_sigurd
When: Aug. 30, immediately after Wyatt faded away
Where: their room
What: grief.
Gone. Just like that, all over again, his best friend was gone. Geddoe had been there to witness the first time, even if circumstance forced him to stand back out of the way and let others say their farewells. But it wasn't any easier being able to say goodbye, to watch him fade again. He made his way slowly through the castle dungeons almost by rote, his gaze unfocused, up one level and out onto the ship. As the door creaked open, he noticed the folded letter on the floor, but it took him a long moment to bend down and pick it up. Wyatt's handwriting on the front stopped him cold. He couldn't open it. He just stood there, staring at it.
Sigurd had only just heard the news. He'd been out training in the fields when it was made public news. And he knew immediately where he needed to go first. Woe be unto the person who stood in his way, but thankfully he managed to arrive at their shared room without incident. Of course, when he saw Geddoe in the doorway, his heart sank. There were no words...
The thunk of boots on the wooden planks made Geddoe raise his head slightly, but he didn't turn. He only took a few steps further into the room, setting the letter on the table and then taking off his gloves. He wasn't positive who had come up behind him, but some part of him sensed it might be Sigurd...he needed to be out of the way to allow him to enter the room as well.
Sigurd didn't enter the room. Or rather, he entered it, but that wasn't really his intention. His intention was to go to Geddoe, wrap his arms about him, and hold him as tightly as he could.
The embrace was somewhat unexpected. Geddoe stood and accepted it, though. "You heard, then?" he murmured.
"I came here first... I wanted to find you."
"So you did." Geddoe sagged against him. The experience left him drained, almost numb. Expecting it didn't make it any easier to take.
Sigurd didn't really know what else to say. Sure, he'd lost friends in battle before. But he KNEW this wasn't the same. It couldn't be. And there didn't feel like there was anything he could do besides simply be there for the other.
With his lover there beside him, Geddoe felt he could have a look at the letter, now. He pushed away just enough to pick it up and break the seal, realizing that it had been written within the last few days. Wyatt's death had hastened from the evening they had a drink. It wasn't fair. He read it in silence, and only then noticed his right hand shaking.
Sigurd gently placed a hand on the shaking one, giving what he hoped was a calming caress. Seeing the other like this... it was almost too much.
Geddoe's free hand clamped over his mouth for a moment, and then he lowered the other in order to set the letter aside. "Would you close the door...please?"
Sigurd nodded and silently performed the command. The other man was a wreck. He'd be needing as many private moments as he could get, he figured. He only hoped those moments included him in some way... even if he didn't feel like much use at the time.
Meanwhile, Geddoe pulled out one of the chairs at the table and sat down, rubbing his face. He didn't want to shut down completely, he had to stay...for Sigurd. Just like the letter said. He wouldn't run this time. Sigurd was all he had left. His hand stopped in order to cover his good eye, and his shoulders sank. It was coming, and he couldn't hold it off much longer.
"If... if you need something to cry on...," was all Sigurd managed to say. The implications were there.
Geddoe said nothing, and did not raise his head, but an arm shot out as if to wordlessly demand that Sigurd come to him. He wasn't sure he had the strength to stand up and go to him, really.
And Sigurd did so with no hesitation. He was there and wrapped about the other in less than a blink. This was going to be hard, but... it was neccesary. He was partly glad Geddoe wouldn't be holding it all in this time.
Geddoe pressed his face against Sigurd's shirt, clinging to him. It took a while, but his breath suddenly caught in his throat and his shoulders began to shake. No one in over a hundred years had seen this side of him, not even last time.
Sigurd didn't feel like it was an honor. It was... special knowing Geddoe loved him enough to be like this in front of him, but... There was no way he could take pride in this.
The spell was relatively short, given the circumstances. Geddoe never made a sound, but surely Sigurd could feel the tears wet his shirt on one side. His breathing gradually evened out, but he didn't let go of his partner for a long while afterward. This was what he missed by fleeing his problems - the warmth, the stability. The promise that even for a short time, he was not alone.
Sigurd didn't quite let go himself. He still held the other tenderly, giving gentle pets to his back. To be Geddoe's rock... that was part of the promise he made when they pledged their lives to each other. Of course Geddoe was not alone. He never would be for as long as Sigurd could help it...
After a bit, Geddoe shifted his head so that only his forehead rested against Sigurd. "Dammit," he muttered, his voice even but deep and thick. He lifted a hand to wipe the left side of his face.
Once more Sigurd found himself at a loss for words. Actions spoke louder anyways... so he just stayed there for him. Still comforting... still loving the other man
Geddoe finally looked up, taking a deep breath. "Do you mind," he murmured, "if we don't go out for a few days?"
"I don't mind at all, love... Take as long as you need."
Geddoe pushed himself up from the chair and moved slowly about the room, removing his sword and then armor, but had to stop and lean on the table for a minute. His head was full of conflicting thoughts, impossible to tune out. He didn't want to entertain the one that reminded him that someday it would be Sigurd's turn. He looked over at his lover for a long moment, wondering.
...Sigurd wasn't telepathic, but he knew what that look meant. He'd seen it before. Hell, he'd GIVEN it. Either from returning to his own time or his own inevitable mortal death, they would part some day. But even then... "We've talked about this, love... Live every day, remember?"
"I know." Geddoe came back around the table and caught him up, resting one large hand on Sigurd's neck. "I know. I'm not going to...do anything foolish." He let out a huge sigh. "If not for you I'd be halfway across the continent by now."
Sigurd nodded, holding the other. He didn't doubt Geddoe but... sometimes they both needed a reminder. He just wished it had been a better time for it.
At least, Geddoe was thinking to himself, Sigurd knew Wyatt. Maybe not as well as he, but they were not strangers. He didn't have to explain anything. They could remember him without having to say a word about him. "You can...read the letter, if you want," he said softly. "There's nothing too personal in it." But before he let go, he pulled Sigurd closer and whispered, "I don't tell you enough. That I love you."
Sigurd paused a moment before giving the other a soft, almost serene smile. "You don't need to," he replied simply. And he didn't need to read the letter. All he wanted... was to be by Geddoe's side. That was good enough for him. It always would be.
"No. I do." Geddoe slid tiredly from his arms and fell back down into the chair, keeping his eye from attending to the letter on the table. He didn't want to be reminded for the next few minutes. He needed to settle himself, relax and breathe. Maybe even lie down, since he had a bit of a headache now.
"If that's what you need, then so be it," Sigurd sighed. He already didn't like what this was doing to Geddoe... but this was only getting worse.
Geddoe raked his hands backwards through his hair, and then raised his head to look at Sigurd. "I don't know what to do with myself," he admitted. "Last time...I had a war to fight. I had to suck it up and hide it from my team. Now..."
"Now... now you have a life to keep living, Geddoe."
"It can wait." Geddoe pushed himself up again, but only to go and flop on the bed nearby, making it bounce with his weight. His eye drifted toward the ceiling.
"For now, yes... but I hope you don't keep it on hold," Sigurd said as he crawled into the bed next to him. He kicked off his boots, shouldered off the pauldron, and simply rested his head on the other's chest. He wasn't going to give Geddoe a moment alone unless asked to do otherwise.
That warm, familiar weight made Geddoe close his eye tightly so he wouldn't be overwhelmed again. His whole emotional state was unstable, and Sigurd's persistence was touching. He lifted one hand to comb through Sigurd's hair. "No. Just for a few days. Maybe a week at most." He took a deep breath. "I don't want to deal with anyone right now."
"That's fine... I'll see if I can't have food brought to us, okay?" Sigurd spoke. The implication, of course, that he'd be holed up with him.
"Mm." That little murmur held implied acceptance to Sigurd's presence. He had nothing to hide from his lover, not anymore. Geddoe consoled himself by running his fingers through Sigurd's hair in a slow, steady rhythm.
"Let's just sleep some of this off for now. Later we can take a bath together, and I'll have a nice meal prepared for us. And maybe a few bottles of wine," he whispered. They'd probably need that many, anyways.
Geddoe's breath caught in his throat briefly. "No wine," he muttered. "The rest is fine." He didn't know if he would fall asleep, but his head ached and his eye burned...and the silence and comfort was welcome.
Sigurd nodded, understanding. "No wine... just us then," he replied, nuzzling against the other. And that was all he had left to say. That was all he COULD say. Everything else would seem so damn forced...
"Yeah." Geddoe didn't need words, anyway. That was one thing he loved about Sigurd, he didn't need to prattle to communicate. The fact that he raced back to the room and almost beat Geddoe there, well...that was enough. He let his arm slip around Sigurd's shoulders and held him to his side as they laid there, letting the last of his tears settle on his eyelashes and be blinked away. He probably didn't even need to warn Sigurd not to tell anyone about his moments of vulnerability. As far as the rest of the castle was to know, Geddoe was not a man prone to grief.
When: Aug. 30, immediately after Wyatt faded away
Where: their room
What: grief.
Gone. Just like that, all over again, his best friend was gone. Geddoe had been there to witness the first time, even if circumstance forced him to stand back out of the way and let others say their farewells. But it wasn't any easier being able to say goodbye, to watch him fade again. He made his way slowly through the castle dungeons almost by rote, his gaze unfocused, up one level and out onto the ship. As the door creaked open, he noticed the folded letter on the floor, but it took him a long moment to bend down and pick it up. Wyatt's handwriting on the front stopped him cold. He couldn't open it. He just stood there, staring at it.
Sigurd had only just heard the news. He'd been out training in the fields when it was made public news. And he knew immediately where he needed to go first. Woe be unto the person who stood in his way, but thankfully he managed to arrive at their shared room without incident. Of course, when he saw Geddoe in the doorway, his heart sank. There were no words...
The thunk of boots on the wooden planks made Geddoe raise his head slightly, but he didn't turn. He only took a few steps further into the room, setting the letter on the table and then taking off his gloves. He wasn't positive who had come up behind him, but some part of him sensed it might be Sigurd...he needed to be out of the way to allow him to enter the room as well.
Sigurd didn't enter the room. Or rather, he entered it, but that wasn't really his intention. His intention was to go to Geddoe, wrap his arms about him, and hold him as tightly as he could.
The embrace was somewhat unexpected. Geddoe stood and accepted it, though. "You heard, then?" he murmured.
"I came here first... I wanted to find you."
"So you did." Geddoe sagged against him. The experience left him drained, almost numb. Expecting it didn't make it any easier to take.
Sigurd didn't really know what else to say. Sure, he'd lost friends in battle before. But he KNEW this wasn't the same. It couldn't be. And there didn't feel like there was anything he could do besides simply be there for the other.
With his lover there beside him, Geddoe felt he could have a look at the letter, now. He pushed away just enough to pick it up and break the seal, realizing that it had been written within the last few days. Wyatt's death had hastened from the evening they had a drink. It wasn't fair. He read it in silence, and only then noticed his right hand shaking.
Sigurd gently placed a hand on the shaking one, giving what he hoped was a calming caress. Seeing the other like this... it was almost too much.
Geddoe's free hand clamped over his mouth for a moment, and then he lowered the other in order to set the letter aside. "Would you close the door...please?"
Sigurd nodded and silently performed the command. The other man was a wreck. He'd be needing as many private moments as he could get, he figured. He only hoped those moments included him in some way... even if he didn't feel like much use at the time.
Meanwhile, Geddoe pulled out one of the chairs at the table and sat down, rubbing his face. He didn't want to shut down completely, he had to stay...for Sigurd. Just like the letter said. He wouldn't run this time. Sigurd was all he had left. His hand stopped in order to cover his good eye, and his shoulders sank. It was coming, and he couldn't hold it off much longer.
"If... if you need something to cry on...," was all Sigurd managed to say. The implications were there.
Geddoe said nothing, and did not raise his head, but an arm shot out as if to wordlessly demand that Sigurd come to him. He wasn't sure he had the strength to stand up and go to him, really.
And Sigurd did so with no hesitation. He was there and wrapped about the other in less than a blink. This was going to be hard, but... it was neccesary. He was partly glad Geddoe wouldn't be holding it all in this time.
Geddoe pressed his face against Sigurd's shirt, clinging to him. It took a while, but his breath suddenly caught in his throat and his shoulders began to shake. No one in over a hundred years had seen this side of him, not even last time.
Sigurd didn't feel like it was an honor. It was... special knowing Geddoe loved him enough to be like this in front of him, but... There was no way he could take pride in this.
The spell was relatively short, given the circumstances. Geddoe never made a sound, but surely Sigurd could feel the tears wet his shirt on one side. His breathing gradually evened out, but he didn't let go of his partner for a long while afterward. This was what he missed by fleeing his problems - the warmth, the stability. The promise that even for a short time, he was not alone.
Sigurd didn't quite let go himself. He still held the other tenderly, giving gentle pets to his back. To be Geddoe's rock... that was part of the promise he made when they pledged their lives to each other. Of course Geddoe was not alone. He never would be for as long as Sigurd could help it...
After a bit, Geddoe shifted his head so that only his forehead rested against Sigurd. "Dammit," he muttered, his voice even but deep and thick. He lifted a hand to wipe the left side of his face.
Once more Sigurd found himself at a loss for words. Actions spoke louder anyways... so he just stayed there for him. Still comforting... still loving the other man
Geddoe finally looked up, taking a deep breath. "Do you mind," he murmured, "if we don't go out for a few days?"
"I don't mind at all, love... Take as long as you need."
Geddoe pushed himself up from the chair and moved slowly about the room, removing his sword and then armor, but had to stop and lean on the table for a minute. His head was full of conflicting thoughts, impossible to tune out. He didn't want to entertain the one that reminded him that someday it would be Sigurd's turn. He looked over at his lover for a long moment, wondering.
...Sigurd wasn't telepathic, but he knew what that look meant. He'd seen it before. Hell, he'd GIVEN it. Either from returning to his own time or his own inevitable mortal death, they would part some day. But even then... "We've talked about this, love... Live every day, remember?"
"I know." Geddoe came back around the table and caught him up, resting one large hand on Sigurd's neck. "I know. I'm not going to...do anything foolish." He let out a huge sigh. "If not for you I'd be halfway across the continent by now."
Sigurd nodded, holding the other. He didn't doubt Geddoe but... sometimes they both needed a reminder. He just wished it had been a better time for it.
At least, Geddoe was thinking to himself, Sigurd knew Wyatt. Maybe not as well as he, but they were not strangers. He didn't have to explain anything. They could remember him without having to say a word about him. "You can...read the letter, if you want," he said softly. "There's nothing too personal in it." But before he let go, he pulled Sigurd closer and whispered, "I don't tell you enough. That I love you."
Sigurd paused a moment before giving the other a soft, almost serene smile. "You don't need to," he replied simply. And he didn't need to read the letter. All he wanted... was to be by Geddoe's side. That was good enough for him. It always would be.
"No. I do." Geddoe slid tiredly from his arms and fell back down into the chair, keeping his eye from attending to the letter on the table. He didn't want to be reminded for the next few minutes. He needed to settle himself, relax and breathe. Maybe even lie down, since he had a bit of a headache now.
"If that's what you need, then so be it," Sigurd sighed. He already didn't like what this was doing to Geddoe... but this was only getting worse.
Geddoe raked his hands backwards through his hair, and then raised his head to look at Sigurd. "I don't know what to do with myself," he admitted. "Last time...I had a war to fight. I had to suck it up and hide it from my team. Now..."
"Now... now you have a life to keep living, Geddoe."
"It can wait." Geddoe pushed himself up again, but only to go and flop on the bed nearby, making it bounce with his weight. His eye drifted toward the ceiling.
"For now, yes... but I hope you don't keep it on hold," Sigurd said as he crawled into the bed next to him. He kicked off his boots, shouldered off the pauldron, and simply rested his head on the other's chest. He wasn't going to give Geddoe a moment alone unless asked to do otherwise.
That warm, familiar weight made Geddoe close his eye tightly so he wouldn't be overwhelmed again. His whole emotional state was unstable, and Sigurd's persistence was touching. He lifted one hand to comb through Sigurd's hair. "No. Just for a few days. Maybe a week at most." He took a deep breath. "I don't want to deal with anyone right now."
"That's fine... I'll see if I can't have food brought to us, okay?" Sigurd spoke. The implication, of course, that he'd be holed up with him.
"Mm." That little murmur held implied acceptance to Sigurd's presence. He had nothing to hide from his lover, not anymore. Geddoe consoled himself by running his fingers through Sigurd's hair in a slow, steady rhythm.
"Let's just sleep some of this off for now. Later we can take a bath together, and I'll have a nice meal prepared for us. And maybe a few bottles of wine," he whispered. They'd probably need that many, anyways.
Geddoe's breath caught in his throat briefly. "No wine," he muttered. "The rest is fine." He didn't know if he would fall asleep, but his head ached and his eye burned...and the silence and comfort was welcome.
Sigurd nodded, understanding. "No wine... just us then," he replied, nuzzling against the other. And that was all he had left to say. That was all he COULD say. Everything else would seem so damn forced...
"Yeah." Geddoe didn't need words, anyway. That was one thing he loved about Sigurd, he didn't need to prattle to communicate. The fact that he raced back to the room and almost beat Geddoe there, well...that was enough. He let his arm slip around Sigurd's shoulders and held him to his side as they laid there, letting the last of his tears settle on his eyelashes and be blinked away. He probably didn't even need to warn Sigurd not to tell anyone about his moments of vulnerability. As far as the rest of the castle was to know, Geddoe was not a man prone to grief.