..if you dont try, you'll never know what your worth

[truejew16]

They say it takes half the time
you were with someone
to fully get over them

i have 1 month and 3 weeks left.

i guess im not ready for a relationship.
maybe when i find someone.
someone willing to love me back.
the love will be so amazing
so powerful
that giving it to me this early just wouldnt be fair
a girl could dream.

and i do.
of one day having a guy
one thats not scared to be cheesy
and make me laugh
hold me when im scared
and when im sad
and when its time to sleep
one that sees guys looking at me
and puts his arm around me to scare them off
one that walks in a room
and looks for me first
who knows ever scar on my body
and on my heart

its not too much to ask.
its love.
real, true, unconditional love.
and it exists.

for those who ask me if i believe in soulmates.
i do.
yes, you can love several people in a life time.
but everyone has that one love.
the one that surpasses them all.
and i will find it one day.

but not today.
im not ready.
because i need to be ok with myself.

i need to see my potential.
my good.
before i can let anyone else see it.
i need to know for myself.

right now.
i still miss you.
but i know im worth better,
i know that i deserve to be treated better.
not that i deserve a better person,
but rather i deserve to have my love reciprocated.
i deserve to have my kindness given back.
instead of thrown in my face.
i loved you.
i really did.
but im better without you.