Mix has some blog-splaining to do...
November 19, 2008
blog-splaining
Posted by Black Mixon
ahhhh. now that I'm doing this I totally can't think of half the shit I promised I'd blog-splain to all y'all twitter followers...
I guess, first and foremost, I'd just like to say thanks to everyone. thanks for your attention, and thanks for your company. over the last few weeks, the fuck city twitter has totally become an obsession for us. first hurley, then me, and now all of us it seems like. I feel like this new chapter of the FC mission has brought us closer together as a group, and that's really something. and it has everything to do with you guys. so let me just say, I'm siked to have caught your eye here, even if it's just while passing through, looking to see what Hurley has to say about Pete & Ashlee's baby or something.
anyway. on twitter, I promised to tell everyone about my big time free gym membership scam, so here we go.
so, I'll probably have to withhold a little bit of information, just cause this will be floating around on the internet for who knows how long, and it's basically an admission to something that could probably get me in trouble somehow; or at least keep my plan from working.
the college I graduated from is like 3 blocks from fuck city. they have a pretty awesome student workout facility that's easily better than the gym I pay $30 a month for, which is all the way downtown, and a pain in the ass to drive to everyday. when I went to school there, my student ID got so fucked from being in my pocket all the time, that you couldn't even see my face in the picture. it just turned into this like weird grey smear where my hair and part of my jacket were kinda showing, and that was it. the thing still worked for everything, including the health center and the workout place. so I figured if I could find someone willing to sell me theirs for like $50 or so, I could wear the picture out, and just use it whenever without a problem.
my friend renee had a better idea. she convinced one of her friends to give me his student number and all of his information so I could just cruise down to the office, tell them I lost my ID, and get a new one, with his name, and my picture. brilliant right?
so we went there yesterday. I figured I had about a 50/50 chance of even having a chance without bringing another photo ID. I was hoping the person helping me out would either be: A: a student, who wasn't smart enough to figure out my trick, or who didn't care enough about their $7/hr job to do anything about it, B: a middle-aged woman roughly my moms age, who I could just turn the smile/charm on and cruise right by, or C: a middle-aged black woman. I don't know why, but they fuckin love me.
anyway, no such luck, it was somewhere between A and B. 30-something lady who looked pissed before I even said a word to her. great.
so I cruise up to the counter, super-sneakily hide my phone (which had all the identity donors info on it) behind the partition, where she couldn't see it, and tell her that I need an ID, but I lost my drivers license. she asks for my name and student ID number. I convincingly rattle it off as if it were by memory.
and then she's all: okay, I'm gonna have to ask you a few questions to verify your identity. first, what classes are you taking this semester?
I'm like: ...hmmmmm. ...I don't know.
she kinda looked at her little sheet of paper, looked back at me, looked down, and then goes: you don't know what classes you're taking?
and I'm like: ...no. I don't really go much.
right then, my friend renee tried to throw me an assist by sort of reminding me that her friend, the identity-donor, has all the same classes as her. the lady totally smelled trouble and instructed her sternly that, because I didn't have a photo ID I would need to answer the questions.
so I tried to buy some more time by staring at the wall behind her like a retard, and eventually just conceded and told her I'd come back with a photo ID. she gave me a "yeah, right" face, and that was the end of it...so she thought.
right now, round 2 is in effect. my friend bridget (fobfan124 on twitter haha) went in today and went through the same motions as I did, taking careful notes about what questions were asked. so I'm gonna go in there again soon, make sure that that one lady isn't working, and try it again with all the right info.
there you go. scams for life. wish me luck.
<3 mixon
[source]
blog-splaining
Posted by Black Mixon
ahhhh. now that I'm doing this I totally can't think of half the shit I promised I'd blog-splain to all y'all twitter followers...
I guess, first and foremost, I'd just like to say thanks to everyone. thanks for your attention, and thanks for your company. over the last few weeks, the fuck city twitter has totally become an obsession for us. first hurley, then me, and now all of us it seems like. I feel like this new chapter of the FC mission has brought us closer together as a group, and that's really something. and it has everything to do with you guys. so let me just say, I'm siked to have caught your eye here, even if it's just while passing through, looking to see what Hurley has to say about Pete & Ashlee's baby or something.
anyway. on twitter, I promised to tell everyone about my big time free gym membership scam, so here we go.
so, I'll probably have to withhold a little bit of information, just cause this will be floating around on the internet for who knows how long, and it's basically an admission to something that could probably get me in trouble somehow; or at least keep my plan from working.
the college I graduated from is like 3 blocks from fuck city. they have a pretty awesome student workout facility that's easily better than the gym I pay $30 a month for, which is all the way downtown, and a pain in the ass to drive to everyday. when I went to school there, my student ID got so fucked from being in my pocket all the time, that you couldn't even see my face in the picture. it just turned into this like weird grey smear where my hair and part of my jacket were kinda showing, and that was it. the thing still worked for everything, including the health center and the workout place. so I figured if I could find someone willing to sell me theirs for like $50 or so, I could wear the picture out, and just use it whenever without a problem.
my friend renee had a better idea. she convinced one of her friends to give me his student number and all of his information so I could just cruise down to the office, tell them I lost my ID, and get a new one, with his name, and my picture. brilliant right?
so we went there yesterday. I figured I had about a 50/50 chance of even having a chance without bringing another photo ID. I was hoping the person helping me out would either be: A: a student, who wasn't smart enough to figure out my trick, or who didn't care enough about their $7/hr job to do anything about it, B: a middle-aged woman roughly my moms age, who I could just turn the smile/charm on and cruise right by, or C: a middle-aged black woman. I don't know why, but they fuckin love me.
anyway, no such luck, it was somewhere between A and B. 30-something lady who looked pissed before I even said a word to her. great.
so I cruise up to the counter, super-sneakily hide my phone (which had all the identity donors info on it) behind the partition, where she couldn't see it, and tell her that I need an ID, but I lost my drivers license. she asks for my name and student ID number. I convincingly rattle it off as if it were by memory.
and then she's all: okay, I'm gonna have to ask you a few questions to verify your identity. first, what classes are you taking this semester?
I'm like: ...hmmmmm. ...I don't know.
she kinda looked at her little sheet of paper, looked back at me, looked down, and then goes: you don't know what classes you're taking?
and I'm like: ...no. I don't really go much.
right then, my friend renee tried to throw me an assist by sort of reminding me that her friend, the identity-donor, has all the same classes as her. the lady totally smelled trouble and instructed her sternly that, because I didn't have a photo ID I would need to answer the questions.
so I tried to buy some more time by staring at the wall behind her like a retard, and eventually just conceded and told her I'd come back with a photo ID. she gave me a "yeah, right" face, and that was the end of it...so she thought.
right now, round 2 is in effect. my friend bridget (fobfan124 on twitter haha) went in today and went through the same motions as I did, taking careful notes about what questions were asked. so I'm gonna go in there again soon, make sure that that one lady isn't working, and try it again with all the right info.
there you go. scams for life. wish me luck.
<3 mixon
[source]