New Fuck City Blog from Andy
November 10, 2008
home
Posted by xprofessionalx
finally back home to fc. traveling so much is starting to wear on me. not in a bad way. i love doing this, and cant imagine not touring and playing shows and being with my band...but im just always tired...my body and mind are getting so confused with the time changes. nothing that a normal night of sleep wont fix, but im becoming a zombie. i suppose there has been a level of disconnect building for years now anyway, but this is making it worse.
to explain...touring so much has left me feeling this pervasive disconnect. with everything. friends, family, loved ones. i just have a layer of skin built up to the point that i never really care about anything.
i suppose that isnt completely true. more in the sense that i find myself drifting through things alot. but i suppose i am hyper-caring in other contexts. i dont know.
basically, its always weird getting home, only to start preparing to leave again. a couple days back, and i get into the rhythms of being home again, but at first its really odd and lonely...and i cant figure out what to do. like im running in place. and it always feels like im about to leave again the next day anyway.
but i love being home. make no mistake. just wanted to vent about it i guess. home alone since mix is at work. but ill be stopping by there in a bit anyway, so ill be fine. just thinking about the constantly changing context of my life.
but thats what i love. home is wherever i am. fuck city is with me wherever i go. my family is my band and fc, so im never really alone. but the moments i have a minute of respite by myself, the loneliness hits hard.
[source]
home
Posted by xprofessionalx
finally back home to fc. traveling so much is starting to wear on me. not in a bad way. i love doing this, and cant imagine not touring and playing shows and being with my band...but im just always tired...my body and mind are getting so confused with the time changes. nothing that a normal night of sleep wont fix, but im becoming a zombie. i suppose there has been a level of disconnect building for years now anyway, but this is making it worse.
to explain...touring so much has left me feeling this pervasive disconnect. with everything. friends, family, loved ones. i just have a layer of skin built up to the point that i never really care about anything.
i suppose that isnt completely true. more in the sense that i find myself drifting through things alot. but i suppose i am hyper-caring in other contexts. i dont know.
basically, its always weird getting home, only to start preparing to leave again. a couple days back, and i get into the rhythms of being home again, but at first its really odd and lonely...and i cant figure out what to do. like im running in place. and it always feels like im about to leave again the next day anyway.
but i love being home. make no mistake. just wanted to vent about it i guess. home alone since mix is at work. but ill be stopping by there in a bit anyway, so ill be fine. just thinking about the constantly changing context of my life.
but thats what i love. home is wherever i am. fuck city is with me wherever i go. my family is my band and fc, so im never really alone. but the moments i have a minute of respite by myself, the loneliness hits hard.
[source]