(no subject)
Happy August! Actually, August is starting out to be a really
bad month... July was okee doke - nothing really spectacular tho. I
prefer June, when all was good. Well, not ALL. But at least there
wasn't so much SHIT going on.
I dunno... I decided that I HATE weekends. Something bad happens during the weekends. Like, realizations or just plain fights break out during the weekend. These past 3 weekends (esp. the past 2) have been really SHITTY weekends. There's something about Saturdays and Sundays I just don't get.
I feel so empty inside. There's nothing more I can really do about some situations and I feel so powerless. Can't forget last night, try as I may. Like I predicted, I woke up a bit unfazed, but then the dark cloud took over. Everything makes me wanna cry. The amount of hate and anguish I have... the tension... I can't believe how much I let go last night. Or... that I actually DID let go. All the resentment, the hate, the pain... all the crap that's bottled inside me... let's just say it's buried deep inside my pillow.
Gawd, more and more I wanna escape this place. What "this place" is... I'll never know. Maybe it's my house, maybe it's L.A., maybe it's this world... no idea. I wanna run away. Major deja vu of that one day freshman year when I skipped school and went with my mom to her office. (Why is mine and my mom's secret) Gosh do I miss that place. I felt so cosmopolitan whenever I walked down that street with all those business people around me in their business suits. Escapism - that's what movies are to me these days. Yesterday was nice seeing "The Notebook" with Nance. I got to escape reality for a little bit and was engrossed in the lives of Noah and Allie. [And I had fun. Thanks Nance!]
Well, I'm gonna go. Being online all day is just plain depressing.
Motel, sitting in the dark
Empty room like an empty heart
Lovers stop, but they never stay
They don't look back as they
drive away
Maybe I can fix this broken neon light
Feelin' the cracks and paint it bright
That maybe love will stop here tonight
And if she knocks on my door
I'll give her the key
Just one look in her eye
And I know I'll be
Everything that she sees in me
More than I ever thought I could
be, but...
These are the days
When all that I can do is dream
But I don't wanna spend forever
Living in the in between
I'm stuck here in a place without love
And I just can't let it stay this way
But for now I'm gonna have to face it
These are the days
I gotta use this lonely time
To change the picture in my frame of mind
Outside the window there's a sunny day
I wanna feel it on my face
You and I...
We're out here looking for the same thing
An end to all the wondering
Waiting for someone to share this feeling
And if she knocks on my door
I'll give her the key
Just one look in her eyes
And I know I'll be
Everything that she sees in me
More than I ever thought I could be but...
These are the days
When all that I can do is dream
But I don't wanna spend forever
Living in the in between
I'm stuck here in a place without love
And I just can't let it stay this way
But for now I'm gonna have to face it
These are the days
These are the days between your hopes and fears
These are the moments that are still unclear
It's still uncertain if she will appear
But like it or not
This is what I got
These are the days
When all that I can do is dream
But I don't wanna spend forever
Living in the in between
I'm stuck here in a place without love
And I just can't let it stay this way
But for now I'm gonna have to face it
'Cause these are the days
I dunno... I decided that I HATE weekends. Something bad happens during the weekends. Like, realizations or just plain fights break out during the weekend. These past 3 weekends (esp. the past 2) have been really SHITTY weekends. There's something about Saturdays and Sundays I just don't get.
I feel so empty inside. There's nothing more I can really do about some situations and I feel so powerless. Can't forget last night, try as I may. Like I predicted, I woke up a bit unfazed, but then the dark cloud took over. Everything makes me wanna cry. The amount of hate and anguish I have... the tension... I can't believe how much I let go last night. Or... that I actually DID let go. All the resentment, the hate, the pain... all the crap that's bottled inside me... let's just say it's buried deep inside my pillow.
Gawd, more and more I wanna escape this place. What "this place" is... I'll never know. Maybe it's my house, maybe it's L.A., maybe it's this world... no idea. I wanna run away. Major deja vu of that one day freshman year when I skipped school and went with my mom to her office. (Why is mine and my mom's secret) Gosh do I miss that place. I felt so cosmopolitan whenever I walked down that street with all those business people around me in their business suits. Escapism - that's what movies are to me these days. Yesterday was nice seeing "The Notebook" with Nance. I got to escape reality for a little bit and was engrossed in the lives of Noah and Allie. [And I had fun. Thanks Nance!]
Well, I'm gonna go. Being online all day is just plain depressing.
Motel, sitting in the dark
Empty room like an empty heart
Lovers stop, but they never stay
They don't look back as they
drive away
Maybe I can fix this broken neon light
Feelin' the cracks and paint it bright
That maybe love will stop here tonight
And if she knocks on my door
I'll give her the key
Just one look in her eye
And I know I'll be
Everything that she sees in me
More than I ever thought I could
be, but...
These are the days
When all that I can do is dream
But I don't wanna spend forever
Living in the in between
I'm stuck here in a place without love
And I just can't let it stay this way
But for now I'm gonna have to face it
These are the days
I gotta use this lonely time
To change the picture in my frame of mind
Outside the window there's a sunny day
I wanna feel it on my face
You and I...
We're out here looking for the same thing
An end to all the wondering
Waiting for someone to share this feeling
And if she knocks on my door
I'll give her the key
Just one look in her eyes
And I know I'll be
Everything that she sees in me
More than I ever thought I could be but...
These are the days
When all that I can do is dream
But I don't wanna spend forever
Living in the in between
I'm stuck here in a place without love
And I just can't let it stay this way
But for now I'm gonna have to face it
These are the days
These are the days between your hopes and fears
These are the moments that are still unclear
It's still uncertain if she will appear
But like it or not
This is what I got
These are the days
When all that I can do is dream
But I don't wanna spend forever
Living in the in between
I'm stuck here in a place without love
And I just can't let it stay this way
But for now I'm gonna have to face it
'Cause these are the days