2 months of updates
So the semester ended a while ago and it's been 2 months since I've updated. I've reflected on the semester so many times and thought of everything that I could have done differently. Wondering constantly if it would have made a difference, but as it's always said hindsight is 20/20. I'm going to make next year better and get rid of the sophomore slump that I fell further into. Sophomore year is proven to be the worst - so it's only uphill from here. I should be more comfortable whereever I live next year so I will be happier in that way. I don't know anymore...I need to stop thinking about it. I need to stop dwelling on the past because that will only hold me down in the future.
I guess insomnia at 2 in the morning makes me prophetic? Possibly just pathetic.
One big thing this semester that came back is my hatred for being doubted. I want to scream to people not to doubt me, but then again when they do I flourish. I do my best when no one things that I'm going to succeed at all. Sure, I have my almost blow ups along the way - but I still pull through in the end. I get my strength from other people's negative opinions of me.
Last Friday I went to the bowling alley...yeah, I know I shouldn't because every time it's the same. I remembered every reason why I quit and dropped that part of my life. I watched as people let their lives be dictated by little mistakes, how that one game meant the world. People were beating themselves up over mistakes the same way I am over my grades for the semester. But my grades, they determine my future and law school and something important. Bkac hwen I bowled it was fun not life and that's why I can never got aback to it. It was never my life - my grades determine my life...and I ruined those this semester.
Since I've been home I've of course spent a lot of time with Ana and Erin, I also spent a night with Rach and Rin. Next week is camping with Aly, Rachie, Rin, and Mander and I am beyond excited for that. 3 days on the beach with 4 of my favorite girls is going to be amazing :)
There was one night this semester where nothing went wrong though - Mer's birthday...there were in and out like 10 people in Amanda and my room that night but it was fun. The worst event of the night was Meredith's beaded necklace breaking. Everything else was great, I even woke up happy the next morning after not going to sleep until after 4:30.
I have a job for the summer, I'll be working probably 40 hours a week, but the paychecks will be quite nice. I'm pretty excited for that! I might not have too much free time, then Friday nights I'll be working at bowling tournaments for some pocket cash.
A World Away has been playing a lot of shows, so tomorrow night I'll be seeing them for the second time in the under 2 weeks I've been home then possibly twice next weekend and maybe one other time the weekend after that. Maybe they'll play my birthday weekend too.
Overall, things are looking up. I'm happy to be home - or happy to be away from WNEC for a little. As much as I love it there, I needed a break...I needed to get away.
So, here's my update after 2 months...there will probably be more this summer.
I guess insomnia at 2 in the morning makes me prophetic? Possibly just pathetic.
One big thing this semester that came back is my hatred for being doubted. I want to scream to people not to doubt me, but then again when they do I flourish. I do my best when no one things that I'm going to succeed at all. Sure, I have my almost blow ups along the way - but I still pull through in the end. I get my strength from other people's negative opinions of me.
Last Friday I went to the bowling alley...yeah, I know I shouldn't because every time it's the same. I remembered every reason why I quit and dropped that part of my life. I watched as people let their lives be dictated by little mistakes, how that one game meant the world. People were beating themselves up over mistakes the same way I am over my grades for the semester. But my grades, they determine my future and law school and something important. Bkac hwen I bowled it was fun not life and that's why I can never got aback to it. It was never my life - my grades determine my life...and I ruined those this semester.
Since I've been home I've of course spent a lot of time with Ana and Erin, I also spent a night with Rach and Rin. Next week is camping with Aly, Rachie, Rin, and Mander and I am beyond excited for that. 3 days on the beach with 4 of my favorite girls is going to be amazing :)
There was one night this semester where nothing went wrong though - Mer's birthday...there were in and out like 10 people in Amanda and my room that night but it was fun. The worst event of the night was Meredith's beaded necklace breaking. Everything else was great, I even woke up happy the next morning after not going to sleep until after 4:30.
I have a job for the summer, I'll be working probably 40 hours a week, but the paychecks will be quite nice. I'm pretty excited for that! I might not have too much free time, then Friday nights I'll be working at bowling tournaments for some pocket cash.
A World Away has been playing a lot of shows, so tomorrow night I'll be seeing them for the second time in the under 2 weeks I've been home then possibly twice next weekend and maybe one other time the weekend after that. Maybe they'll play my birthday weekend too.
Overall, things are looking up. I'm happy to be home - or happy to be away from WNEC for a little. As much as I love it there, I needed a break...I needed to get away.
So, here's my update after 2 months...there will probably be more this summer.