I'm addicted
My fingernails hadn't seen any polish for a year and a half. Then I saw a hand with blue nail polish on Instagram, holding a smoothie or something. I took a screenshot and went to the drugstore to find a similar color, but nothing came close. It had some quality I couldn't pinpoint, and that clearly couldn't be found in a drugstore. So I tried going to Ulta. The nail polish was not all in one section but scattered around the store by brand. I looked at all of it, some came close, but those bottles cost a ridiculous $20. I bought a jaw nipper for clipping hangnails and went home.
In LA the next week I had some free alone time when brunch got cut short. A brunch that involved conversation about nail art. I decided I'd get a manicure. I was able to find a blue polish that I liked. It was a little more green than the one on Instagram, but it was closer than any bottle I'd seen in Ohio. It was called, "I'm addicted." I planned in my head what I was going to say when the manicurist complimented the color as she would inevitably do. "It's fun."
I loved my blue nails. I couldn't remember why I ever gave up on nail polish. Until they started to chip three days later. But I came to like them a little bit chipped. But then on day seven, I opened a window and half of it chipped off my right index finger, and the room was immediately flooded with mosquitos.
I had to borrow nail polish remover from my mom and remove it from that finger. I was afraid I'd have to remove it all before a party the next day, but then I remembered the new style of painting just one nail a different color. This was probably how it came to be.
I went back to Ulta, this time determined not to leave without nail polish. I found an orange shade that was nice, but I missed blue. I didn't want to go back to life without blue nails. I looked at the available shades of blue again, but the closest one was called "In the Cabana" and it was too mellow and 80's. I bought it anyway. I also bought a base coat and a top coat, something I had never done before but I wanted to do it just like the manicurist had done. The grand total was $36.
Jim had driven me to the store and we were going to meet my parents for dinner afterwards, but we got to the restaurant early. I decided I would paint one nail in the car. I was so excited, like I was 10 and had bought a new toy. I took the base coat out of its box and read the instructions. It had a blue tint. I had told Jim I was going to paint the naked finger orange, but I really wanted to see the blue instead. I started to apply the base coat.
"Is that the blue?"
"No, this is just the base coat, see? It's clear."
"But it's blue."
"Well that's just a tint."
"But I meant, is that the base coat for the blue?"
I laughed. The idea of buying a different base coat for every color of polish was precious, and hilariously impractical. "Just one base coat for all the colors," I told him. Just a coincidence that it's blue.
He didn't say anything, but I thought he seemed hurt, like I was laughing at him, which I wasn't. I don't know if it was the kind of mistake he'd get embarrassed about, but I wouldn't think so. Why should I expect him to know about the intricacies of a manicure? As far as I'm concerned it's like learning a second language, if you make a mistake you shouldn't be embarrassed. But some people get embarrassed about that too.
I did a horrible job on the nail. It'd been years since I'd done my own, besides my toes, and this was using my left hand. I put on too much polish and it looked gooey. I laughed at how bad it looked and showed Jim. "I hope no one in the restaurant looks too closely!"
"Why don't you just wipe it off with a paper towel?"
"You can't take nail polish off with a paper towel, you need nail polish remover."
"Well nail polish remover would take it right off, but..."
I had to interject. "Nail polish remover does not take it right off." You have to rub and rub with a tissue or cottonball, and little pieces of cotton get stuck on it and it looks all gross.
Jim was suggesting I try to take it all off, while it was still wet, with a dry paper towel. I imaged this would just make a giant smudge with little pieces of white towel fiber stuck in it. The thought was too horrid to entertain. I went into the restaurant to meet my parents with the bad nail in tact. The light was so dim the blues both looked like the same shade.
They weren't the same shade though. At home that night, looking at this sickly "cabana" blue was making me panic about having to remove the other blue, which was chipping more and more. I googled "I'm addicted" to see if I could order the color online. I found out it's real name was "Neon Aquamarine", and I realized the before ineffable quality it had that none of the other blues had: neonness.
It was retired, but I found it on ebay. You could buy it in a set with five other colors from last years neon collection for $36. I am considering this. Which would bring my grand total of nail polish spending for the year to $72, plus shipping. Plus the $25 for the original manicure.
Right now my nails are bare again, or "natural" as they say. My toenails are orange though. I did them last night at 3am when I couldn't sleep. They look pretty great. Working with my right hand I did a much better job. But when I finished at 3:30 am I was suddenly tired. I made it 20 minutes before I gave up and put my feet under the covers to go to sleep. In the morning they had the vaguest impression on them from the sheet. But you can only see it if you look very closely, and who will do that but me?
In LA the next week I had some free alone time when brunch got cut short. A brunch that involved conversation about nail art. I decided I'd get a manicure. I was able to find a blue polish that I liked. It was a little more green than the one on Instagram, but it was closer than any bottle I'd seen in Ohio. It was called, "I'm addicted." I planned in my head what I was going to say when the manicurist complimented the color as she would inevitably do. "It's fun."
I loved my blue nails. I couldn't remember why I ever gave up on nail polish. Until they started to chip three days later. But I came to like them a little bit chipped. But then on day seven, I opened a window and half of it chipped off my right index finger, and the room was immediately flooded with mosquitos.
I had to borrow nail polish remover from my mom and remove it from that finger. I was afraid I'd have to remove it all before a party the next day, but then I remembered the new style of painting just one nail a different color. This was probably how it came to be.
I went back to Ulta, this time determined not to leave without nail polish. I found an orange shade that was nice, but I missed blue. I didn't want to go back to life without blue nails. I looked at the available shades of blue again, but the closest one was called "In the Cabana" and it was too mellow and 80's. I bought it anyway. I also bought a base coat and a top coat, something I had never done before but I wanted to do it just like the manicurist had done. The grand total was $36.
Jim had driven me to the store and we were going to meet my parents for dinner afterwards, but we got to the restaurant early. I decided I would paint one nail in the car. I was so excited, like I was 10 and had bought a new toy. I took the base coat out of its box and read the instructions. It had a blue tint. I had told Jim I was going to paint the naked finger orange, but I really wanted to see the blue instead. I started to apply the base coat.
"Is that the blue?"
"No, this is just the base coat, see? It's clear."
"But it's blue."
"Well that's just a tint."
"But I meant, is that the base coat for the blue?"
I laughed. The idea of buying a different base coat for every color of polish was precious, and hilariously impractical. "Just one base coat for all the colors," I told him. Just a coincidence that it's blue.
He didn't say anything, but I thought he seemed hurt, like I was laughing at him, which I wasn't. I don't know if it was the kind of mistake he'd get embarrassed about, but I wouldn't think so. Why should I expect him to know about the intricacies of a manicure? As far as I'm concerned it's like learning a second language, if you make a mistake you shouldn't be embarrassed. But some people get embarrassed about that too.
I did a horrible job on the nail. It'd been years since I'd done my own, besides my toes, and this was using my left hand. I put on too much polish and it looked gooey. I laughed at how bad it looked and showed Jim. "I hope no one in the restaurant looks too closely!"
"Why don't you just wipe it off with a paper towel?"
"You can't take nail polish off with a paper towel, you need nail polish remover."
"Well nail polish remover would take it right off, but..."
I had to interject. "Nail polish remover does not take it right off." You have to rub and rub with a tissue or cottonball, and little pieces of cotton get stuck on it and it looks all gross.
Jim was suggesting I try to take it all off, while it was still wet, with a dry paper towel. I imaged this would just make a giant smudge with little pieces of white towel fiber stuck in it. The thought was too horrid to entertain. I went into the restaurant to meet my parents with the bad nail in tact. The light was so dim the blues both looked like the same shade.
They weren't the same shade though. At home that night, looking at this sickly "cabana" blue was making me panic about having to remove the other blue, which was chipping more and more. I googled "I'm addicted" to see if I could order the color online. I found out it's real name was "Neon Aquamarine", and I realized the before ineffable quality it had that none of the other blues had: neonness.
It was retired, but I found it on ebay. You could buy it in a set with five other colors from last years neon collection for $36. I am considering this. Which would bring my grand total of nail polish spending for the year to $72, plus shipping. Plus the $25 for the original manicure.
Right now my nails are bare again, or "natural" as they say. My toenails are orange though. I did them last night at 3am when I couldn't sleep. They look pretty great. Working with my right hand I did a much better job. But when I finished at 3:30 am I was suddenly tired. I made it 20 minutes before I gave up and put my feet under the covers to go to sleep. In the morning they had the vaguest impression on them from the sheet. But you can only see it if you look very closely, and who will do that but me?