This is shit

[trueandspurious]

Realizing I don't listen to music that much anymore. My list of Spotify friends runs off the page now. A lot of them are listening to Bon Iver and I have no idea what it is and no intention of finding out. I've been strumming Jim's guitar four days in a row, just to get calluses. I've got some faint ones now. But I still don't have the stomach to

Comments

[lateniteslesley]

I see your point but I don't think you should try to be an asshole. Honesty is fine and everyone is in more need of it, but just as long as you can be just as honest about articulating the positive. Otherwise you'll just be that downer friend who criticizes others for apparent sport.

Couples therapy is teaching me the power of positive affirmation statements. I am always honest with people when I feel it's merited but I'm being shown it doesn't yield much change, other than giving me the perception of an un-pleasable bitter person. For the past week I've grit my teeth and tried to inject a positive statement of encouragement where I normally would have been honest and right--with everyone. It's been hard to do with some, but I'm seeing that trying-to-be-positive statements of honesty influences behavior better than negative honest comments.

I invite you to give it a try with Jim, for your own internal sense of amusement. Don't say anything negative for a few days at all, instead encourage, praise and compliment things he does do or you would like him to do, like playing a song all the way through. Who knows?

But then again, I may say fuck it to this practice and go off to live in a cabin by the river by myself.

[trueandspurious]

Well, no, don't want to actually try to be an assshole. Actually recent events in the days after I posted this have shown me the benefits of being nice. Not anything actually I did. More observing the ugliness of people's mean-sporting behaviors on facebook and twitter.

I am almost scared to death to ever say negative things to Jim because of his low self esteem. Last night when he wanted me to start packing and I said I wasn't feeling well and wanted to wait until today (the day before) he looked like he was going to cry. Apparently he gets more stressed out about my packing for trips than I do. But maybe I could try more encouragment and praise. Though I do that a lot, and a lot of thank yous.Because he is pretty much always doing something for me. Especially now that we're locked into the tyranny of yogurt making.

But yeah, building Jim's self esteem, if possible, is like my #2 priority after my health.