(no subject)
I think rarely in a person's life does she experience a Guiness Book of World Records moment. Yesterday, during my break at school, I encountered such a moment. First, I am not in the practice of noting the size of animal's genitalia. I had arrived at school at 9:00am yesterday and wasn't able to take a break until 3:30 at which time I bought a fountain soda and took my sandwich (that was now soggy) to a picnic table outside of the art building. I was in the middle of enjoying my break and decided to call Al one more time and see how his birthday was going. As I was dialing, a squirrel came up to me and placed his little feet on one of the bench seats next to mine. We looked at each other for a long time. I was going to give him some of my soggy bread, but thought back to Ian's pet squirrel, Towelette and for some reason just decided not to. The squirrel, not losing any skin off his teeth, walked to the next table over and pulled the same move. While he had his feet on that bench, I noticed that he had a small torso and a really large lower body and I was scanning the pear shaped form of the cute little squirrel when I accidentally saw it - the hugest testicels on a small animal...ever. They were bigger than a small dog and probably some medium sized dogs. Again, no one offered him food and he walked off. This was no ordinary walk, this was the walk of a the squirrel with the largest balls in the world. It crossed my mind that perhaps something was wrong with him - disease or infection has possibly met him at one point or another. That means there is a 33.3% chance that his balls were just THAT big. By the time I got through to Al, all I could concentrate on was the movement of the squirrel. It's as if he was riding a miniature horse and had saddle legs. Sadly or maybe not so sadly, I could not finish my soggy lunch - not necessarily out of disgust, but more that I felt really weird. I tossed my leftovers and hurried back inside.