words on love
falling in love this summer was not intended, completly. and doing so was a great thing for me and the intended lover. there is this hard draining pain deep in my mind and body, specifically my chest area. and every time i think about the boy with no name i feel the pain that i have been running from for the longest time, possibly my entire life.
he taught me a way to tie knots in my mind and subconcious and trick myself into not feeling pain, and it works, but it doesn't work forever. there will come a time when things take a nasty turn, and bad and horrible turn.
the longest time i have been loathing this departing pain, and i know he reads this journal every now and then for a quick insiders look to what i am up to, he does not feel pain like me, he does not choke on his boater's knots like me.
thats the difference between me and the boy with no name (PHIL)
this school year is going to be remarkably different and most certainly painful. at the begining of the summer i said goodbye to something i did love, a small love whose existance was missing fruition. makes no sense, but doesnt need to. this summer things have been intense, amazing and charming. but the clincher is that i am going to be the lonliest i have ever been this school year. with no amazing amounts of friends and solely simple people who make no difference to me whatsoever. there will and can only be room for those people who i befriend who i know are worth nothing to me but a simple amount of elevator chatter and conversation.
there's not much left for me but the company of good friends and occasional drug cocktails.
he taught me a way to tie knots in my mind and subconcious and trick myself into not feeling pain, and it works, but it doesn't work forever. there will come a time when things take a nasty turn, and bad and horrible turn.
the longest time i have been loathing this departing pain, and i know he reads this journal every now and then for a quick insiders look to what i am up to, he does not feel pain like me, he does not choke on his boater's knots like me.
thats the difference between me and the boy with no name (PHIL)
this school year is going to be remarkably different and most certainly painful. at the begining of the summer i said goodbye to something i did love, a small love whose existance was missing fruition. makes no sense, but doesnt need to. this summer things have been intense, amazing and charming. but the clincher is that i am going to be the lonliest i have ever been this school year. with no amazing amounts of friends and solely simple people who make no difference to me whatsoever. there will and can only be room for those people who i befriend who i know are worth nothing to me but a simple amount of elevator chatter and conversation.
there's not much left for me but the company of good friends and occasional drug cocktails.