Thinking out loud about gay sex ...

[true_enough]

inthekeyofd posted a very interesting entry HERE about Shaun and Zach from Shelter and what she is and is not ready to read about them doing sexually. What caught my attention was this observation:

"Even though I'm pretty sure that Zach would have done anything that Shaun wanted to do that first night..still, for some strange unknown reason I sort of need

Comments

[inthekeyofd]

I literally was out all night after I got home from work yesterday..YAY FOR LIVE MUSIC, I'm just seeing this so sorry for the late reply, my problem is with fics that either have Zach being an expert at it or worse, and I will get flamed for this..him saying things or acting totally OOC, and that coupled with my need to sort of see them work up to that is what my post was about, it's hard to explain, either it's that they didn't show it or the fact there isn't a flood of fics yet, that could be it, but for some reason I need to almost see them take it slow and work up to that.

But then again, I don't know if you read all the comments there, but I did say I know some gay men that detest anal sex, one of my friends basically said that he's got no problem with using his mouth or his hand but penetration, it's not happening.

Do I think they may have done that, yes, do I also think there is a possibility that they didn't, yes...would I be surprised if they didn't, nope, not at all.

I can't explain it, but their relationship, for me, seems more...and I don't want to sound terrible saying this, but anal seems a little harder than the tenderness that was shown especially in TBGM as Jonah refers to it, I'd say hands, yes, mouths, yes, friction, yes..but anal, it's possible, but if it didn't happen, I wouldn't be all that thrown by that.

I really have more of a problem with fics than with thinking they've done or haven't done it...but then comes the question, and I know this really may sound harsh, but who tops? Is it Shaun because he has more experience? And how long would it be before Zach wanted to, and would he want to, and would he want to all the time and would Shaun want to bottom all the time..there's a ton of questions there.

It's odd because I think my main problem is when I have an OTP they sort of have defined roles with me and with these two I can't get a grasp on that..and I think that is the reason why in my stories they will only go so far or do so much, but hey, as long as both characters in the story are having a good time, it doesn't matter if they go all the way to penetration, I've written a TON of stories where that doesn't happen and I've still managed to bring some heat...it's not the be all end all of a relationship between two male characters.

I hope that made some sense.

[true_enough]

No,no, no. Never feel like you have to rush back and reply. I just thought your post was very interesting and it made me want to think out loud about gender roles in bed and what is and is not expected in fanfiction.

... my problem is with fics that either have Zach being an expert at it or worse, and I will get flamed for this..him saying things or acting totally OOC ...

I totally share your feelings about this. There is something about these characters in particular that makes me think that their main connection is firmly rooted in solace and while it's expressed sexually they probably don't routinely talk dirty or hang from the chandeliers.

... but I did say I know some gay men that detest anal sex, one of my friends basically said that he's got no problem with using his mouth or his hand but penetration, it's not happening.

In a reply above sobelle posted a link to the Man2Man Alliance who have very similar views about anal sex and also about gender roles (top-bottom) in bed. I know that I've made jokes about Zach and Shaun playing Rolling Pin in bed their first time but I also thought it was a wonderful visual cue that if they must be defined then they're both top and bottom, going back and forth fluidly and without minimizing or extolling either one. So I think that Shaun probably would top to begin with but only out of experience and once Zach is more comfortable it would be a more give and take thing between them.

It's odd because I think my main problem is when I have an OTP they sort of have defined roles with me and with these two I can't get a grasp on that..

Yes, with Shaun being older and more experienced it seems like he would have, I guess, a more dominate role to play but Zach seems to have this way of squaring off with him that keeps them from being easily defined. Which is also one of the many reasons why I love them so much.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me and for letting me run with this. It's something that I've been thinking about for a while and your post really put it in focus for me.