i'm the clockwork behind the ticker

[true_believer89]

such passion within these eyes of mine but i walk these streets with a meaningless grace. i stumble accross subtle annoyances. i run because it slows down time. i think time is slipping through my hands almost every day. i reach out for friends and family to help me but i don't know how to depend on someone too much, so i cry on my own shoulder. success is what i aim for constantly. i'm distracted too easily. i strive for a clear mind. i love seeing myself through the eye in the sky, seeing myself defined as a decent person. reading books is what i do when i'm feeling rebelious. happiness is odd for me, i look at everyone and search for purity. i used to take their lies and feed them in one ear and out the other because i used to think everyone told the truth, no one lied, and no one would do on to me what they didn't want me doing to them. i analyze. i hate my generation. time has given me clarity. and all that was unclear to me before is complex and meaningful. these words i write to recognize how my brain works and to remember how i felt at certain times. i do not search for who i am but create who i am. live by the beach die within reach of some soul. i fear dying alone. i feel comftorble not knowing my future. i'm the clockwork behind the ticker. have i written a break down? is this a pre-mid life crisis? no this isn't. this is breaking the barrier because i break everything. when i was little my dad named me boo boo because i'd always fall and break things. now he calls me boob. the other two O's were lost in time.

in 5 years i wonder what i'll think when i look back at this fucking entry.
i just linked my brain to the keyboard and let it do what it just did.