(no subject)
June 9th, 2006
tgif AGAIN
Posted protected on 2006.06.09 at 07:00
well, boys and girls, it is friday.
the boys new babysitter is doing good. the boys like her and she seems like she will work out well.
my ad ran in the paper yesterday and i only got one call back. a 65 y/o woman. i was mentioning some things that the boys do, activities and such to keep them busy, and i said they go swimming at the apartment pool. the lady said 'can they swim? oh, i cant swim, i am scared of the water, i couldnt save them if they were to drown'
i was like....'allrighty then, i will be calling back the people i want to interview...' thinking...NOT
i am on vacation next week yay NO WORK ALL WEEK!!!!!!
i will buy a can of paint and a bathing suit this weekend. i will paint my room this week (no not in my bathing suit)
my dead sisters daughter is at my parents this month visiting and i will spend time with her as well.
PONDERISMS
· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
· Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
· The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
· Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
· Life is sexually transmitted.
· Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
· Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
· Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
· Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
· Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
· Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
and some facinating true facts---
a college woman in NY was researching and doing a study on NAGGING. she hired a carpenter to live in her spare bedroom to study the effects of her nagging him. after three weeks, he beat the shit out of her with an axe and now she is retarded.
the cost of saving ONE seal after the exxon oil spill was 80 thou. dollars. two of the most expensive seals were released back into the water during this faboulous well publicized ceremony. two minutes later they were BOTH eaten by a whale.
have a great day and dont piss anyone off.